Monday, February 29, 2016

happy leap year

I had a different post I wanted to write but then realized if I missed leap year, I'd have to wait four more years to use this silly picture.  Wouldn't that be a travesty?  :)  Plus I need to think more deeply about what I was trying to say.  It wasn't flowing smoothly.  And work kept getting in the way of that.  :)

Therefore today will be a silly fluff post to put a smile on your Monday face.  Omg, fkn smile already.  I'm trying hard over here.  Dance, monkey, dance!

Sunday, February 28, 2016

oh, the who-manity

I scared myself when I glanced in a mirror this morning.  A somewhat red-headed Cindy Lou Who was staring back at me. With a three inch curl standing straight up on top of her head.  I had been up for over 30 minutes, and it was still prominently vertical.  Thanks for not telling me, Kitten.

Guess who had a great night's sleep??  Me!  Over 7.5 hours straight through.  Holy fuck I feel so much better.  I have energy to do shit today.  Maybe clean the house.  Or the pool.  Or even go for a walk.  So fkn nice to feel normal once in a while.  I've already started organizing and de-cluttering in the physical world.  And that was all before my Wendycoffee.

Confession time.  I've been substituting sweetened condensed milk in place of Stevia and cream.  Yes, I know it isn't as healthy, but it's so precisely delicious.  And there are a couple of cans in my magical cupboard.

Before you think I live in a hovel, I do clean my house and pool when I'm not feeling well, but I don't care as much about the overall quality.  At that point my attitude is who cares how I feel, do it anyway.  It's clean enough, but there may still be some leaves in the pool.  Or water spots on the mirror.  Where the fuck do those come from?  They're always there.  They appear at the speed of lint.  Wipe, clean, gone.  BOOM, they're back.  Just like the lint in my jeans' pockets.  Skinny jeans do appear to allow less lint, so that's an added bonus for ridiculously tiny pockets that can barely hold a dime.

I love a day filled with possibilities.  Probably I won't do much besides daydream, but that counts, right?

Saturday, February 27, 2016

small act of kindness

I left class last night with plans to go to the grocery store and then home to bed.  I've had a long, exhausting week of pesky migraines.  The universe had other intentions for me though.  As everyone was racing off to their exciting plans (fancy dinners, visiting loved ones), one of my classmates noticed my tire was low.  I asked if that wasn't just because it was cold out, but it wasn't that cold really.  He said no way it would go that flat, and another classmate chimed in saying I probably had a puncture.  Thanks for being so helpful, mofo.

I think I had a deer in the headlights look, so he took pity on me and pulled out his elaborate air-pump doohickey and topped off both of my front tires.  He's a mechanic by trade, so he's very comfortable around cars.  For a smart person, I'm really stupid about and intimidated by cars, even though I love them.  We talked a bit while the pump was going.  I asked about under-inflating my tires for high-speed driving.  He explained that unless I was racing for hours, it should be a negligible effect. 

I thanked him and left.  I even risked stopping at the grocery store, and my tires looked fine when I came out.  I texted him when I got home thanking him again and letting him know I made it safely.  He sent a 'glad I could help' response. 

And he has no idea how much his kindness meant to me.  My eyes teared up as I drove home. 

Friday, February 26, 2016

huffing my arm

My sister sent me some delicious smelling lotion to cheer me up.  Of course, it's all natural, free from harmful chemicals, designed for sensitive skin, blah blah.  Besides that, it smells amazing.  I've started wearing it always and huffing on my arm when I need a mood boost.

Okay, let's be honest with each other.  I huff on it ALL the time.  So far, I've done that only at home.  I hope it doesn't become one of those weird habits I don't even know I'm developing where people see me in public and consciously move away.  Or maybe that's my master plan to have my personal space intact when I'm in public.  Crazy?  Or genius??  It's a fine line between the two, isn't it?

Thursday, February 25, 2016

ripe papaya is best papaya

It seems if I wait four months for my papayas to ripen, they taste much better.  I wonder what the nutritional value is of green vs. orange papayas.  Bonus, no protein enhancements in the form of larvae.

My tree got blown down a month ago during a violent windy weather episode.  I have it staked upright with creative placement of my outdoor dining furniture.  That's right, it's staked with a very fancy swivel chair.  In my defense, I didn't want to do a lot of work just to find out the tree was infested and have to cut it down.

At least two crunchy spiders have set up shop on the furniture.  I've let them chill because they're kind of awesome, and they eat bugs.  They might even be the superheroes of the arachnid world.  Worried about your papayas?  Have no fear, SamuraiSpider is here!

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

travel to the past, but with more flavor

Apparently, along with my magical hair, I have a magical cupboard.  I keep finding cans of food from long ago.  Recently I discovered a can of Sweetened Chestnut Puree, which I'm assuming I didn't purchase because I had no idea what it was and had to look it up.  Or maybe I did buy it because it does look interesting, and sometimes I impulse-buy weird foods.  The can was so old it didn't even have a website listed on it.  I guess 2003 was still new-ish for doing that.  Or maybe the French aren't as compulsive as Americans.

I texted Einstein, who I stumped because he doesn't cook with chestnuts.  After trying this can, I heartily recommend it.  Yes, the food inside was fine.  Tasted amazing.  Bonus, I didn't get sick.  I ended up mixing it in with my oatmeal (minus the cheese).  I added most of the other stuff I usually do, shredded coconut, chia seeds, butter, nuts, and unrefined salt.  Omg, fkn delicious.  I've been going easy adding it in because I can't eat too much sugar at once.  It's very scrumptious though.

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

now with 50% more red

I used to go to fancy salons with high-end stylists.  And then I realized I was paying hundreds of dollars, and wasting hours of my time, to be somewhat happy with the results.  I figured I could do at least that level of mediocrity myself, for way less money and I wouldn't have to listen to three hours of inane hair salon chatter.  I started experimenting with cutting and coloring my own hair.

Sometimes I wanted to fire my stylist.  Fortunately, my hair grows fairly quickly and is voluminous enough to be more forgiving with shitty cuts.  Once I hacked off an entire damaged section in the back with no one the wiser.  Or at least no one brave enough to comment.  :)

I've switched colors (and brands of colors) over the years as I get bored.  Recently I couldn't find my new favorite color (magic red) locally, so I ordered it from Amazon a few months in a row.  And then they fkn ran out.  How is that even possible?  For two months.  Fuck you, Amazon.  [And fuck you again for raising the minimum free shipping to $49.]

I decided I needed to find a new color temporarily, so I went with REALLY FKN RED because it seemed the closest to what I had.  Halfway through the coloring process, I started having misgivings because it was REALLY FKN RED.  At that point, I was committed, so I finished up, rinsed it out, and was happy I had no major events coming up.   When I was at my brother's house last week, he didn't notice.  I took that as a good sign that I hadn't fucked it up too badly.

When I went to class, my Sensei noticed within two minutes of me saying hello.  He asked if I had a new stylist.  Without answering yet, I asked what he thought.  He said he loved it, so of course I took full credit then.  :)

A couple other friends have chimed in and voted for the new color, so I will be brave and try that for a while.  I have a box of each now, just in case.

Monday, February 22, 2016

shaking arms

I finally checked an item off my to-do list yesterday.  Trimming the trees.  I managed to do quite a few before calling it quits.  No broken limbs (mine), maybe no spiders in my hair, no cuts or gashes, and only one broken fingernail.  Victory!  I came in and washed my hair three times to get all of the tree bark and detritus out.   And now, I can barely lift my arms up. 

I climbed up into trees to pull vines away which were suffocating them.  Every time I blindly reached around to grab and pull, I said a little atheistic prayer that I wouldn't meet up with a carnivorous or otherwise vicious lizard.  [Atheistic prayers go something like a five year old's prayers. "Please, please, please don't let me find a lizard."]  I can say with certainty that they were 100% effective.  :)

Later on when vegging out the rest of the day, I let the guilt of being a couch potato go.  The subsequent migraine guilt was not as easy to resist.  Fortunately it wasn't a horrible one.  I ignored it all day (like a dumbass) and didn't medicate until the pain finally ratcheted up.  However, I still caught it at a 3 (on a pain scale of 10), so the meds kicked in before it went past 5.  Yippee?  [Side note: why does my spellchecker still not recognize dumbass as a word?  It's like it doesn't even know me.]

Sunday, February 21, 2016

digital decluttering

I've been working on cleaning my phone up.  I went from three home screens down to two, down to one, over the course of a few days.  I've also moved all of my apps down to the bottom, instead of across the face.  Now that I look at it on my PC, I think maybe I should move them to the top, so the words aren't covered. 

It's been an adjustment having to look for where I stowed an app.  You're probably wondering why I would do this to myself.  I used to pick up my phone because I was bored.  And then I would look through social media, messaging apps, etc. to see who/what could distract me.  That didn't seem very healthy.  Now, I look at my phone less and only when I have a purpose (mostly).

I still think I have too many apps sitting on my screen, but I'm not ready to whittle them down further yet.  If only I could clean out a closet or two this way.

Saturday, February 20, 2016

do I even like pizza?

I probably shouldn't answer that because I'll piss off most everyone who reads this.  When have I ever done what I *should* do, though?  I probably shouldn't write my deepest, darkest thoughts for public consumption, but it feels therapeutic and helps me to stay honest with myself.  Otherwise, I think I could take a boat so far down de' Nile River, that it would take years to navigate my way home.

But back to pizza.  It's become traditional for a few of us to go for pizza after exercise class.  One, because it's easy and convenient to walk there.  Two, because typically it's not so crowded that we have to wait long to be seated.  (I get angry when I have to wait 45 minutes to pay money for shitty food and mediocre service.)  Three, because it's nice to support a local family business.  There are other restaurants nearby, but most are chains and franchises.  I could probably list a couple more reasons before even getting to how the food is.  Which should be (and usually is) my top priority when I pick a restaurant.

I don't think I've ever said, out of every choice I have, pizza is the most delicious.  I'll eat it without making a fuss, but it isn't my favorite.  And some pizzas (or should I say flatbreads) are better than others.  Obviously I prefer the stupid artisanal, trendy bullshit better.  Not because it's trendy, but because I don't like eating much bread.  There, I said it.  And flatbreads have less crust.

Our pizza place (I don't even know the name) doesn't serve flatbread pizza, although it is a typical New York thin crust type.  It's good enough.  Mostly, I go for the company.  These are people I've known for years.  Who make me laugh.  Who expose me to new thoughts and ideas.  Who are completely different from the type of person I would pick if given a choice.  Not that I don't like them, far from it, just that it wouldn't have occurred to me, out of ignorance.  We don't have much in common, besides a tenacity for hard, painful, yet fun exercise.

Depending on who shows up, the vibe is either crazy, silly stuff, thoughtful international politics, or who is fighting in the next title fight.  We are a martial arts class, after all, although I don't focus so much on that.  It's interesting to my curious mind who falls on what side of each political issue.  I find myself surprised more often than I would expect.  We are a very diverse group, so I hear opinions from different ethnicities, sexual orientations, etc.  It turns out I'm not only exercising my poor skinny muscles, but also my brain.

Friday, February 19, 2016

baby gecko on my ceiling

I woke this morning to the sight of a baby gecko on the ceiling.  Normally, when I find geckos in the house, I try to shoo them out.  They don't do well indoors, not enough food or water.  Plus Kitten likes to eat them.  :(   However, even standing on the bed, I couldn't reach this one.  And, I would have done the icky dance if it fell on me.  Yes, I know I'm a gazillion times its size.  Doesn't matter.

I went to check on it a couple hours later, and it was gone.  Did Kitten eat it?  Probably not, but she was resting comfortably underneath.  I'm guessing it's hiding somewhere else in my house.  I dread the day when I find a  desiccated lizard corpse.  Especially a cute baby one.  How the fuck did he get inside all the way up there?

Thursday, February 18, 2016

Totoro is home!

Finally!  The cynical side of me thinks the medical system milked her until her insurance coverage ran out.  The other side of me is strangely silent but might agree with the cynical side.  Kitten will be happy that she can go visit her again during her morning constitutional.

For any of you trying to keep track, she's been in and out a few times because her doctors are ignorant, uncaring people who need to be kicked and scoffed at.  Repeatedly.  She's over 90, and the only thing wrong with her is that she is over 90 and has been taking shitty medical advice.  She was on meds to lower her blood pressure, and her docs got her so stuck on a number that she was checking her blood pressure a couple times a day.  Of course she didn't need the meds, and they lowered her pressure enough to make her faint every morning.  Which scared her and sent her to the hospital.  Who then checked her into a skilled nursing center, where they wouldn't let her get out of a wheelchair, which she doesn't need, for 5 weeks.  

After she was released, she went back to being ambulatory again, but apparently her docs don't know about atrophy, and she had problems again.  Back to the hospital for more tests and bed rest.  Rinse and repeat.  Now, they have her on meds to raise her pressure, even though they have no idea what's wrong.  She was discharged yesterday with over 10 prescriptions.  WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK!  And told her she's on the low end of how many she takes compared to other old people.  

It's such a cold-blooded business here.  Fortunately, she called me this morning to fix her blood pressure checker, and I talked her down from having a panic attack over all of this.  All she wants is to stay home, comfy in her own house.  I gave her a HUGE pep talk.  And then she awesomely let me cry to her over my fucked up life.  We held hands, commiserated, and I left once she was feeling better.  I also texted her family again to have them send more baby pics.  That little baby cheers her so much!

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

fuck you, Verizon

My wireless carrier du jour FINALLY decided to release the security patch to protect against Stagefright yesterday, the Android vulnerability that affected bazillions of devices and was first publicly announced in July 2015.  Way to stay current and relevant, Verizon.

They did notify me after I checked for the update and started downloading it, that it would make my phone unusable for 30 minutes.  Guess how long before I started jonesing and wishing I had waited?  About three minutes.  I probably shouldn't have picked the time when I was relaxing in bed, listening to podcasts.  I was too tired to get my book and read.  I was too tired to open my laptop and watch videos or surf.  In essence, I was dumb.  And tired.  So I snuggled with Kitten and tried counting sheep.  I got bored after 17 sheep.

I started panicking when the screen froze a few times, already planning ahead to the soonest I could get a new phone.  And then watched while it started optimizing for my apps.  It said I had 252.  I call shenanigans.  I know this because in a moment of de-cluttering a few weeks ago, I counted and came up with 76 and was shocked I had so many.  Granted, about half are Google and Verizon bloatware.  Which means I still installed way too many voluntary ones. 

Fortunately, it finished successfully, and my precious podcasts and audio-books were unscathed, ready for me to listen to.  Also, a few texts came in that I had missed, although I'm curious if any got lost in the ether. 

It's times like these that make me wish I had gone Apple instead, especially after that awesome letter that Tim Cook wrote.  I guess we can't have it all.  I'm happy to have a working phone that allows me to communicate with the outside world again.  That was a harsh 30 minutes...

Monday, February 15, 2016

inordinately proud of myself

Day four of the migraine looks to be calming down a bit.  Yay.  

Let's take a walk back to day one, when I went for the sumatriptan (a.k.a. Imitrex) injection.  I was disproportionately pleased with myself that I didn't need to read the directions, which start on page 27 and continue on for the length of War and Peace.  I'm happy that they thoroughly explain it, but they seem to be missing the primary focus that if I'm going for this injection, I'm in the midst of a CLUSTERFUCK OF A NEUROLOGICAL DISORDER, where my cognitive functions are greatly diminished.  Plus, I'm in MOTHERFUCKING PAIN.  Maybe just don't make it this complicated to do?  

Sumatriptan used to have a different auto-injection method, which also took me years to master in the throes of a migraine.  I have an idea, let's completely change it up but still keep it equally over-complicated, said no migraineur ever.  Prior to Imitrex being produced, I gave myself DHE injections using an old-fashioned glass ampule that I'd break open, withdraw the liquid with a syringe, and inject.  No instructions needed, besides try not to cut myself on the broken glass.  

Then, they got all fancy to automate the injection procedure, but in the process made it so overly complex that an engineering degree wouldn't be amiss when figuring it out.  I feel like I'm an old-timey safe-cracker, half a turn to the left until it clicks, two turns to the right, and pull gently until I feel it release.  Then line it up perfectly, hold the injector EXACTLY here, push with .2 psi against my skin, and finally hit the button located five inches away.  Hope you have long, flexible fingers!

I haven't even mentioned how much the shot burns for the first three minutes, and how it feels like an elephant sitting on my chest for minutes two through eight.  Good luck breathing!  But then, blessed sweet relief by the eleventh minute.  I LOVE YOU IMITREX INJECTION!

Several years back, they also changed the way they package the pills.  It used to be easy to pop one out of its blister pack and tiny enough to swallow dry if necessary.  Now, I need sharp scissors and water.  Fortunately, I can open a few before I need one and have them readily available.  Except, I don't like to carry loose white pills in my purse because that looks suspicious if law enforcement sees.  Tell me, who carries scissors with them when they're out and about their day?   Way back when, a pocket knife would be convenient, but now that's a weapon if I go through airport security.  So are scissors for that matter.

I get irrationally angry and want to kick the person who designed these.  Or just give them a four day migraine one time, with partial relief inconveniently available in their own design methods.  Hey, fkr, how easy is it now that you're impaired and without scissors?

Sunday, February 14, 2016

be my valentine?

Happy Valentine's Day.  Or Valentimes, if you prefer.  :) 

I've had a heliacal migraine for the past few days.  Only one injection so far, but a quite a bit more pills than I'd like.   By timing the pills just right, I was able to attend a party at my brother's house last night, virtually pain-free, which was a bonus. 

I'm not sure he thought so because I may have gotten into strong discussions about politics and social mores with some of his more conservative guests.  As a party trick, I did a poor job of explaining Einstein's theory of relativity, and the recent discovery of gravitational waves, coming from a non-scientific person to even lesser scientific people.  There were paper towels involved and exploding fists, along with the requisite mouth noises.  I'm sure Einstein is rolling in his grave.  Or cringing in his time travels. 

Perhaps this is why I rarely see my brother even though we live only a couple miles away from each other.  :)

On the plus side, I ate yummy food and have some leftovers.  Yay.  Of course, that's assuming I even feel like eating.  Or getting out of bed today.  Prospects are not rosy.  They were discussing diets last night, and I maturely kept to myself how well the pain diet works. 

In case any of you procrastinated and need a Valentine card, I have some nerdy links below:

Friday, February 12, 2016

I know, write?

I was listening to a podcast exploring the differences between writing notes by hand and writing them on a computer.  Not surprisingly, by hand performed better cognitively.  I smugly sat here thinking I write all my work notes by hand before transcribing them digitally.  For the curious, the short story is that we process the data more thoroughly if we hand-write because we have to carefully choose what to say as handwriting takes significantly longer.

But then I started thinking about how I write creatively.   And somehow it's always digitally.  Even when I (rarely) hand-write cards or letters, if I'm struggling with what to say, I may write it digitally first.  Unfortunately for my inquisitive mind, that seemed to be beyond the scope of their analysis.  But maybe it's along the same line of thought, that we can write faster digitally, and I want to get my ideas down before my monkey mind jumps to the next shiny thought.  I will have to ponder that on my own whilst lying awake in the middle of the night.

Thursday, February 11, 2016

scientists suck at secrecy

Everyone's guesses were right that the announcement today would be about gravitational waves.  I hope none of those fkrs tries to surprise their spouse with presents.  "You'll never guess what I got you, but it's edible and rhymes with moo-she-winner."   :)

It is very exciting, even without the surprise.  And how awesome that #LIGO is still trending on Twitter six hours later.

Just me, or does the name Kip Thorne sound like the lead male in a romantic bodice-ripper?  Probably a piratical type.  Why did he have to ruin things and say no time travel?  And speaking of time-traveling, Albert Einstein had to be from the future, right?  I'm guessing his glorious mane of hair helped somehow.  I'm still working out the details, so I can take advantage with mine.

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

LIGO my igo

Once I had it further explained to me by my friend, Einstein (how apropos), I'm even more excited about the LIGO announcement tomorrow.  As best as I can recall (from yesterday's conversation but gimme a break, this shit is hard), current scientists, with the help of modern technology, are about to further prove Albert Einstein's brilliance from a century ago.

Not only that, but there are double black holes involved.  Plus we get to say phrases like 'event horizon' without talking about the movie.  And there are waves, but not hair waves or tidal waves.  These are gravity waves, pushing and pulling time and space, which make cute chirping noises, if you convert the gravitational wave frequencies to sound waves.  [How long before they're auto-tuned into a pop song?]

You know that's gonna be my next excuse when I'm late or why I have a migraine.  The gravitational waves pushed time and space apart and made me late.  And my head explode.  Almost makes sense.  :)

For those of you who didn't get the title reference, this video is for you:

DISCLAIMER:  Any mistakes and inaccuracies here are my own intellectual failings and/or lame attempts at humor.

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Fat Tuesday and pancakes

My New Year's do-over didn't go exactly as planned, but it was a migraine-free day, so it still goes into the Plus Column.  I had a bit of a down day, some sadness and tears, barely any human contact (mostly by choice), and lots of Kitten snuggling. 

Kitten also had a difficult New Year's day.  She went out for her morning constitutional and got into a feline altercation.  I never saw the other cat, but Kitten was ready to come in early, puffy tail and all.  I stuffed her full of pork tenderloin, and she kept vigilant watch over her domain from the safety of inside.  Usually, she naps right away, but she stayed awake and patrolled the interior perimeter looking for interlopers for at least an hour.

Today, I was a bit hesitant to let her out, but she was so insistently whiny that I soon relented.  No fights today, and no injuries yesterday (that I noticed) besides her pride.

Apparently today is Fat Tuesday and Pancake Tuesday, depending on how you were raised.  I was raised by wolves, so I am appropriating both, minus any religious affiliations, of course.  I used sweetened, condensed milk in my Wendycoffee today, which I'm pretty sure counts as rich and extravagant food.  Maybe I'll make some high-protein pancakes later on.  With lots of butter.  But no syrup, because ewww.  Yeah, I know that's virtually un-American, but despite me using sweetened, condensed milk in my coffee, I'm not a big fan of sugar.

Monday, February 8, 2016

Happy New Year! (again)

Today is the Lunar New Year, a.k.a. Chinese or Asian New Year.  And it's the start of the Year of the Monkey.  I've decided that I'm taking a New Year's do-over.  My January 1st New Year started off a bit bleary-eyed from the migraine the night before. 

Last night, I successfully fended off a migraine.  Barely.  But I'm taking that as an auspicious sign.  Because, you know, I like to grasp at straws when I have nothing else.  The good times start right now.  Are you listening to me, universe?  Because I mean it this time!

In case anyone else needs a New Year's do-over, today is the day.  Make the most of it!

Sunday, February 7, 2016

food you loved as a kid?

And now hate?  For me, there are so many.  I had no sense of taste or refined palette as a child.  I loved junk food like Cheetos and shitty quality candy.  Did the quality of M&Ms get worse, or did I get pickier?  I'm guessing both.  I couldn't even finish a fun-pack of them about 10 years ago.  I threw it away as the trash that it was. 

I learned from a friend that Cheetos came out with new flavors 25 years or so ago, which shows how long it's been since I've thought of them.  I don't want to try them now because it's a no-win situation.  If I dislike them, then it ruins a rare pleasant childhood memory.  And if I still like them, I'll end up eating more chemicals, which won't do my health any favors.  Rather, I'll remember them fondly and treasure the memory.

These days, I buy organic, fair-trade, artisanal chocolate, which is handmade by fairy princess elves, after they've freshly washed their hair and smell like sunshine and rainbows.  Or handcrafted salami, made by the seventh son of a seventh son on the first new moon of the Lunar New Year.  Or something similar.  Because I'm worth it.  :)

I also used to scarf down Hot Pockets and Steak-umms and all kinds of processed 'food' products.  Food preparation has always been a chore to me, because with hypoglycemia and migraines, I need to eat fairly often and sometimes very quickly.  Therefore, I've opted for convenience over quality.  Now, I'm learning how to mesh the two.  A tasty tin of sardines is healthy enough and very quick.  Plus I can share it with Kitten for special occasions.

I appreciate the irony that this comes from someone who eats four day old chicken or nine year old canned beans.  I'm a work in progress, mofo'.   :)

Saturday, February 6, 2016

am I doomed?

In searching for answers to my health and trying so very hard to find peace and contentment, I came across the ACE (adverse childhood experience) test.  The latest research links childhood adversities to diminished health as an adult.  Unsurprisingly my score was very high, although still in single digits, so yay? 

To complicate and intensify matters, I'm also a Highly Sensitive Person.  I haven't watched that movie yet, but the trailer made me cry already.  I read the book years ago and was both amazed and angry that it fit me so well.

No wonder I feel like I have to struggle so much to obtain a healthy homeostasis.  The decks were stacked against me since before birth apparently.  Again, I have that aha! feeling along with anger.  And two breaths later, I let the anger go because I'm way too old to blame my parents for any of my problems, including my fucked up migraine genes.  Plus anger isn't usually constructive.

Therefore, I'm left with insight, which I plan to use as a tool in my lifetime quest to better myself.  Fuck you, Prince Charming, you had only one dragon to slay.  I've been fighting these fkrs for decades.  Who's more impressive now?  :)

Friday, February 5, 2016

Zikalicious conspiracy theories

/rubs hands excitedly

My non-local brother emailed me asking if I was concerned about the Zika virus.  In case you've been living under a rock, that's the latest fear-mongering propaganda by the media making us all cower in fear of mosquitoes, as if they aren't terrifying enough on their own.  Fkn evil bastards (the media and the mosquitoes).  Allegedly this virus in pregnant women causes microencephaly in their babies and is epidemic in many Latin and Central American countries.  And Florida declared a state of emergency about it.

There are a few conspiracy theories, including Bill Gates, vaccines, and GMOs, although my favorite is population reduction.

Obviously I told my brother to chill, everything is fine.  I'm not planning on getting pregnant.  And the odds are ever in my favor regarding the paralysis.  There are so many other deadly things in my yard besides the mosquitoes.  Realistically, the migraines will kill me way before any of those.

Thursday, February 4, 2016

that's so metal

Not me, although I used to appreciate speed metal back in the day.  And of course I loved Metalocalypse.  However,  I learned today that there are more genres of metal than I can shake a stick at.  (I might be too scared to shake sticks at most of them.)  It shouldn't surprise me that the Norwegians are the spooky ones, but strangely it does.  Moshing was exhilaratingly fun when I knew my LARGE friends would buffer and coddle me.  Now, I would be way too frightened to mosh.  Plus, I think I've (gasp) matured a bit and moved closer to the norm.  (Hi2u Adele.) 

This is very far from Black Sabbath, but still evokes some of the same feelings when I listen to it.  Listen at your own risk.  It's definitely not for everyone.  No, I didn't understand the lyrics either and had to look them up.

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

unnerving cameo

Godzilla made a brief but tense appearance yesterday.  Which made me skip my lunchtime sunshine.  Because he left shortly after and went who knows where....  Kitten woke up out of a pork-induced lethargic slumber and came running downstairs when she heard the distinctive scratching noises of his claws on my window.  We both pressed our faces up to the window to see him and watched him melt away into the foliage.  How the fuck does that giant disappear like that?

The young iguanas came back once he was truly gone.  I keep wondering if he would hurt them if he saw them.  Otherwise, why would they always hide when he shows his menacing face?

Apparently, Phil was correct yesterday.  Spring is early.  I had to run my air conditioning last night.  That might have had more to do with a migraine making me hot and cranky than the weather.  All better now.  Yay!

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Happy Groundhog Day

Good news for most of you superstitious types, Punxsutawney Phil did not see his shadow this morning.  Allegedly.  That means an early Spring, assuming Mercury is out of retrograde.  :P  [Someone told me the reason why everyone had a terribly shitty week a couple weeks ago was because Mercury was in retrograde.  Coincidence??]

Me?  I live in the tropics and therefore love winter.  It's like air conditioning outside, too.  I'm hoping for a long winter.  Minus the snowbirds

The rains and tornadoes finally cleared up, and the baby iguanas are no longer huddling together for warmth, looking miserable and forlorn.  Now, they're out enjoying the sunshine, which is what I intend to do, come lunchtime.