Friday, February 5, 2016
Zikalicious conspiracy theories
/rubs hands excitedly
My non-local brother emailed me asking if I was concerned about the Zika virus. In case you've been living under a rock, that's the latest fear-mongering propaganda by the media making us all cower in fear of mosquitoes, as if they aren't terrifying enough on their own. Fkn evil bastards (the media and the mosquitoes). Allegedly this virus in pregnant women causes microencephaly in their babies and is epidemic in many Latin and Central American countries. And Florida declared a state of emergency about it.
There are a few conspiracy theories, including Bill Gates, vaccines, and GMOs, although my favorite is population reduction.
Obviously I told my brother to chill, everything is fine. I'm not planning on getting pregnant. And the odds are ever in my favor regarding the paralysis. There are so many other deadly things in my yard besides the mosquitoes. Realistically, the migraines will kill me way before any of those.