Tuesday, December 15, 2015

I almost died going to the mailbox

My mailbox is about 20 feet outside my front door.  It's dangerous out there.   I'm always barefoot and rarely have problems.  However, unbeknownst to me, the landscapers left a deadly four inch bougainvillea branch to fester and hide in my grass.  I firmly planted my foot atop one of its thorns, which subsequently went in about half an inch.  They're brutal.  I yanked it out, with some effort (it was in pretty good, ewwwww), got the mail, and limped back inside.  I washed my foot with soap and water, pushed against the spot to see if I could feel any piece inside.  I didn't and assumed I was fine. I walked barefoot all day with no problems.

The next morning I could barely walk on it, so I doused it with Lugol's iodine, put on one black sock (so sexy), and limped about my day.  I happened to mention it to Einstein, who said good thing it's not tetanus, which hadn't crossed my mind until then.  I corrected his assumption that tetanus had to come from a rusty nail.  It doesn't.  The rust denotes the age.  The longer something has been in the elements, the more chances it has to gather bacteria from the soil, which it then spreads via puncture wounds.  The old brown thorn would work the same. 

I started to panic until I read the symptoms and treatment of tetanus, aka Lockjaw.  It sounded like a bad migraine that potentially could be fatal.  Many of my migraines feel like that, so for me, it was just another Thursday.  I took extra probiotics because I'm not big on antibiotics.  And extra magnesium to help with stress and muscle spasms.  And extra vitamin C and l-glutamine to boost my immune system. 

It's been over a week, and it seems fine.  But it did say a two week incubation. I walked all around Universal on it and wasn't really limping anymore, although there was still a very tender spot on the bottom of my foot.
By the way, all of this happened before I knew about the FKN GODZILLA living outside my window.  If I die, it's been nice knowing you. I was sure I would die from getting murdered by the psychos in Florida, not from the local flora and fauna.

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