edibles. it's what's for breakfast

Yesterday was a shitshow in Wendyville.  I started with high anxiety most of the night before and woke up to more of the same, even after finally taking a Xanax to sleep.  So, I started my day with edibles and no coffee.  I wanted to slow down my brain not amp it up.

I didn't want to be in my life anymore, and I didn't know how to remedy that.  I have bottles of rum scattered around the house and took swigs as needed for anxiety.  I forced myself to eat a little and then went right back to a higher dose of edibles.  And more rum.  While under the influence of both, I tried to reset my brain and mindset.  

I am a worthwhile person.  

This morning, I woke up in a slightly better headspace.  I showered.  I did dishes.  I did laundry.  And I vacuumed a little.  I'm trying for sobriety today and no anxiety.  Wish me luck!

mourning in the morning

I have a pair of mourning doves who started nesting in one of my outdoor hanging orchid pots.  They did it so much, they killed the orchid.  I almost threw it away, but decided to leave it there for them.  It seems to be an ideal protected nesting place.  I chased them out of my still living orchid hanging nearby, but left them the dead one. 

When I came back from Scotland, one was guarding the nest full time.  This morning I found a dead baby bird underneath, which made me sad.  I left it there, assuming some other animal would grab a meal.

I checked to see if it was gone later in the day, and much to my surprise it was moving!

I scooped it up with an old envelope and pulled down the dead orchid pot.  Mama bird few away, and there was another tiny one in it.  I placed the fallen one next to it and hung it back up.

Mama came back after a few minutes and hasn't kicked the little one out yet.  I had a thought after I'd replaced it, that maybe she did it on purpose because it was sickly.  And here I went getting all Pro-Life on her. 

travel day

I made sure to watch what I ate today, so I didn't have a repeat of my previous painful transatlantic flight.  Yogurt and fruit for breakfast.  

But then I got hungry on the plane and ate all the crap they served.  And I felt fine.  I'm totally blaming that Newark airport food.

not as bad as it looks

best tasting water ever

And sadly, their messaging WiFi wasn't working, so I had to amuse myself for the whole trip.  I had my Kindle and audiobooks, which I interchanged as I got bored.

I managed to get through customs in Washington DC, and get to my gate as it was boarding.  There was a really long line at customs and only four agents on duty for US citizens, so it took close to an hour.  I breezed through with my carry-on bag.  So many people brought back bottles of whisky.  He didn't care about my new coffee mug.

On my flight back to Florida, I had a surprise when I boarded the plane and saw Mike Tyson aboard.  I did a double-take but then quickly looked away, so I wasn't rudely staring.  Everyone behind me wasn't as polite.  They finally had to make an announcement to stay in your fucking seat and quit going up to first class.  People were taking selfies with him and generally bothering him.  If he was half as tired as I was from his previous flight, I'm amazed that he didn't snap like last time some douchebag harassed him on a plane.

last full day

We started the morning with a full Scottish breakfast again.  My last taste of black pudding -- the new superfood.  So sad.  I also noticed that my nose was red.  It probably wasn't the small amount of liquor consumed the night before, so as implausible as it seemed, I had gotten a tinge too much sun in Scotland.  Remind me to pack my sunblock next time!

Then we decided to walk to town and hit the shops to find me a cashmere sweater.  For lunch I ordered local fish and chips.

Here are random photos from in town.

Dinner was venison and lamb burgers, provided by a local stalker.  It turns out stalker there means hunting guide, not creepy guy hanging around too much.  Although, perhaps the animals think of him that way.

another castle

We met some of their friends for coffee, outdoors on a cliff.  Sounds cold and blustery, right?  It was warm, and I was glad I was wearing a t-shirt.  

They have really nice friends.  I think that says a lot about a person -- the quality of their friends.  I learned that Scottish goodbyes are the exact opposite of Irish goodbyes.  We moved three times, closer to the cars, and spent at least 45 minutes saying goodbye.

From there, my friend and I split off and went to see another castle, Tantallon, and its grounds.   No gardens on this one, and the castle was closed again for "renovations" for an unspecified time with no progress made in two years.  It was peaceful to walk the grounds and see the coastline, though.

Tantallon Castle

Home for Wayward Pigeons

We meandered around for a bit and then went home.  I may have had a steak and haggis pie somewhere along the way.

steak and haggis pie

 

We had a celebratory dinner with a mouth-watering charcuterie board and some spirits to finish the night.  I had a few sips of a few bottles.