ich bin dankbar

yo estoy agradecida.

tha mi taingeil.

I am grateful.

I recently learned how to say that in three other languages.

It helps me to deal with my anxiety and nonsense if I can focus on my gratitude.  I'm celebrating Thanksgiving in the cold Midwest, for which I am grateful.

I'm grateful that I was invited and made to feel welcome.  I'm grateful that I have sufficiently warm clothes (I hope!!) so my Floridian blood doesn't freeze.

I'm grateful I got to see snow last night and this morning!!  And then go inside because it's fucking cold!!

I'm grateful that I can fly back to Florida after a few days of dreary Winter weather and bask in sunshine for my soul.

sunshine for mood lifting

Apparently half of the country is getting snow now.  This photo is to add some sunshine to your life.

 

 

Sunday Night Dreads

I'm not sure why I still get the Sunday Night Dreads, but it hit me so hard last night.  I'm assuming it's CPTSD from childhood since it's not really applicable now, but who fucking knows.  

I tried everything I could think of to calm myself.  I watched a sappy, happily-ever-after movie.  I took extra magnesium.  I took melatonin.  I imbibed medicinal alcohol.  I tried calling a friend.  I tried reading a book.  I tried listening to an audiobook.  Nothing assuaged that feeling of my body (and mind?) not feeling right.  I don't even have the vocabulary to describe it, except that I felt wrong physically.

I woke up this morning with a migraine, so maybe last night's condition was part of the prodromal stage.

  

 

trick or treat

I went with my friend and her kids to the mall to trick or treat.   It was quite an experience.  I haven't seen a mall that crowded since Christmas Eve.  And not just any Christmas Eve.  20 years ago Christmas Eve.  It was really packed.  And loud.  

I ate a few chocolates because they were from Godiva.  Who can say no to that?  Between the sugar (three tiny chocolate bites), the noise, and the mall scents, I ended up getting a migraine.  But it may have been worth it.  It was adorable to see her kids experiencing their first Halloween.  They were so excited to run up to strangers and ask for candy.  That's a fucked up tradition, huh?

I also experienced the split second moment of panic when I lost sight of them in the throngs of screaming kids and milling people.  It would be so easy to snatch a kid there.  I guess you can't live with that kind of fear because the odds are pretty small, right?  And the rewards outweigh the risks.  They had a blast playing with other kids and seeing all the fun stuff that the mall setup for them.  I have to say I thought it sounded lame taking kids to the mall to trick-or-treat, but I've changed my mind.  Climate control and bright lighting is kinda nice.

One of the jewelry stores was giving away adult goody bags.

Adult Halloween goody bag