Friday, February 28, 2003

Friday, February 28, 2003

I figured out why I was so fucking moody [READ: sad and couldn't stop crying] yesterday.  And I felt really stupid when I realized why.  I made the mistake of a high school girl and forgot to take my pill once this week, so I took two the next day.  Apparently, that was enough to throw my whole body out of flux.  Duh!  The good news is no more crying (I hope!).  I'm feeling good so far today.  :)

Yay, it's Friday.  That always helps me to smile. 

I learned a new term.  Yeah, I know I'm unhip and out of vogue.  It's probably been around for longer than I've been alive, but I live in an egocentric society.  Haha, okay no more excuses.  I'm lame.  Anyway, I was told I have euro eyes.  I can't believe I made it this far into my life and just learned something new about one of my most prominent physical features.  Not that I have amazing eyes, but they do stand out a bit.  I've been told many things about my eyes (most I dismissed as lines --- except the ones I liked of course ;)), but I had never heard this.   I do have a pic of my eyes up on another page if you care to view for yourself.  I got brave!  /pats self on back

The Happy Sceptic: Quotations

Wednesday, February 26, 2003

Wednesday, February 26, 2003

Don't you hate getting 9 zillion FREE address labels in the mail every day?  They always come from charities, too.  I'm in a selfish phase right now because I don't trust any charity to do the right thing with my money.  I know they're just gonna blow it all on fucking address labels to some poor schmo in Ohio.  I used to give to Sierra Club, but it turns out they are a bit Gestapo in their tactics,  although I do read their political recommendations sometimes.  Then a friend told me about Earth First (yes I'm a tree-hugger), but as soon as I perused their site, I saw that they were advocating a boycott on flowers purchased from Colombia.  Well, fuck, all the good flowers come from Colombia.  So, I would be a total hypocrite if I supported them.  [Btw, Galahad's roses from Valentine's are still alive and fucking gorgeous!  Whatever horrible thing the Colombians are doing is truly fucking amazing.]

Monday, February 24, 2003

Monday, February 24, 2003

I had some crazy dreams last night.  I dreamt I had short hair for one.  Gasp!!!  Dunno why --- I had such a good hair day yesterday, and it was so sweet-smelling with my new shampoo.  Mmmmmm ..... I was in heaven.  Maybe it was the meds I took before sleeping --- yes Imitrex again.  The good news is that I think I figured out the mystery of the Nasal Spray.  Well, I had some help from Galahad, who apparently was strongly motivated not to see me claw my tongue again.  I suppose I could have read the instructions, but it wasn't that obvious to me somehow from them.  It turns out that it's much better not to breathe in through one's nose at all during this whole process.  If some medicine drips out (yeah I know that's gross, sorry), then so be it.  Anyway, no gentle or deep breaths through my nose = no vile nauseating taste in my mouth + migraine relief.  Yay!!!!   =)

I was told a few days ago that perhaps my choice of vocabulary here was a bit too intense.  Well, actually he said it looked like I was trying too hard.  :p  I suppose from now on, I could include links to words that may have more than 2 syllables or aren't as common as others.  I love words, and I love writing at times (so you might have noticed ;) ).  Anyway, when I choose the words to put here, it's because they sound right to my ears not to impress my audience.  Were you impressed though?  :)  When I read, I love encountering words that I am unfamiliar with.  That way, I learn a new word and (one would hope) I see it used correctly in a sentence.  Maybe he was just goofing on me.

Saturday, February 22, 2003

Saturday, February 22, 2003

I am so dizzy and sleepy and hungry and blah.

Vertigo kicked in badly this morning (or should I say this afternoon?) when I woke up.  It was a lovely day again, so of course, I went out back.  This time, I tried to be a bit constructive and I cleaned the pool a little.  Yeah, I know vertigo + pool cleaning != smart.  However, I am very proud of myself for not falling in, although I did have a few close calls.  :)  It doesn't seem to be any better, so I guess I will resolve myself to a day of vertigo and hope that tomorrow is better.  I haven't been this bad in years.  I wonder why now, although I'm guessing it's from that flu that kicked my ass recently.  

The wind was howling pretty good today.  Some major front came in, so I got a migraine last night.  I used the Imitrex inhaler again.  Good god, that is just vile, but it works so fast.  The taste in my throat and mouth was so god-awful!  I almost clawed my tongue out.  It got me to gagging and spluttering for a long 7 minutes.  I even stood at the sink throwing water on my tongue and scraping the taste off with my fingernails.  But it kept coming back.  Poor Galahad had to sit and listen to that.  Not so attractive, I would imagine.  But I suppose he would rather listen to that for a few minutes than hear me whimper in pain for hours.  At least, that is how I am rationalizing it.  :)

Friday, February 21, 2003

Friday, February 21, 2003

mmmmmmmm, we are having perfect weather right now.  I just snuck outside for lunch today.   Omg, I absolutely adore living here.  It's 82°F and bright beautiful blue breezy skies.  Heh, now I'm ready for a nap.  ;)

I'm kind of curious about all you smokers out there.  How do you reconcile smoking in your mind?  I mean, you know it's harmful (potentially lethal), yet you still do it.  Do you just put that part of your thought processes in denial?  Do you attempt to rationalize that it's healthier than getting stressed out and shooting someone?

The reason I ask is that I love to be outdoors in the sun sometimes, yet supposedly it is harmful to me.  I just took an extended lunch (it's slow today and I have my cell phone ;)) outside in the sun.  Gasp!!!  I know it's so wrong, but....  It feels so good to have the sun heating up my body, while a brisk breeze blows over me, cooling me off.  I am by no means deeply tanned --- it's more of a golden-hued dusting.  I watch very closely to make sure that I never burn.

The leading theory on skin cancer (not to mention aging) right now is that the sun causes it.  I have done extensive reading into many different studies done about skin cancer.  I am a firm believer in the holistic approach, meaning that there isn't one root cause per se, it's more of your body is healthy (both mentally & physically) or it isn't.  If it isn't, then it's more susceptible to a wide range of illnesses and cancers.  So if your immunity is weakened already, then the sun (among other things) may be harmful.  It's why I am a staunch supporter of getting a good night's rest.  As one of my favorite characters, Jason Bourne, says, "Rest is a weapon."

If you've been reading my whispers for any length of time, then you know I have battled with skin cancer a bit.  The more I've read up on it, the more I think it goes back to the many, many x-rays I had as a kid.  It seems that kind of radiation (15 years or so ago) can be more harmful than the sun's rays.  Anyway, I kind of wonder if I read only what I wanted to read in order to rationalize why it's okay to let the sun shine on me.  And, I really have no justification about the aging process.  I like to live for today with an eye on the future.  My eyes seem to have a scotoma about that.

Thursday, February 20, 2003

Thursday, February 20, 2003

Yay!!!  No crazy dreams last night --- I must be feeling better.  :)

games - gulf war 2

/wave to my beanbag chair friend  ;)

Wednesday, February 19, 2003

Wednesday, February 19, 2003

"Can my days get any better?" she said sarcastically.

My eyes are puffy this morning from crying last night.  :(   I hurt a friend's feelings.  As if that weren't enough, I also watched a few friends get their feelings hurt, which in turn pains me.  I hate being so empathetic sometimes.  I feel other people's pain so acutely.  I guess my mood didn't start out well yesterday thinking about all the pain and suffering of the victims of the Chicago Nightclub Stampede and the Korean Subway Fire.  Those are so fucking tragic!  Some of those who died were able to call their loved ones and apprise them of the situation before the phones went dead.  Good god, I can't even imagine that, and here I am crying over hurt feelings.  I feel so trivial.

I'm off to give myself an attitude adjustment sometime today.  Wish me luck and serenity.

Tuesday, February 18, 2003

Tuesday, February 18, 2003

I got so sad yesterday, and I hate that.  Dunno why I was so sad.  Maybe it was from an argument with a friend, but it wasn't that serious.  I cried a bit and couldn't snap out of it, despite all my stern lectures.  However, when my Galahad came home from work, I just couldn't help but smile.  And next I knew, he had me laughing.

I'm still happy now even though I have a migraine from the weather shift last night.  Damn, it was hot and balmy all weekend, and now it's 59ºF.  I had to wear a long-sleeved half-shirt.  ;)
 
P.S.  My Valentine Lilies (and all of his flowers except the tulips) are still blooming beautifully.  And, omg they smell so good!

Saturday, February 15, 2003

Saturday, February 15, 2003

I wanna be rich some day --- just for the sole purpose of having fresh flowers delivered to my home every 3 days.  I am in heaven now.  We have flowers in vases spread all across our dining & living rooms.  And, of course, Galahad rearranged them all when he brought them home and combined some with the ones he sent me.  Now they look even more fabulous than before.  He's so talented at that.  Me?  I just throw them in water.

Friday, February 14, 2003

Friday, February 14, 2003

Happy Valentine's Day!  To those of you who think it's not so fucking happy today, I am hopeful that your time will come.  I had many years of thinking this day sucked.  I've had a few more people tell me that they just recently broke up with their GF or BF.  Yes today sucks for you, but it will last in your memory so that when you do find your special someone, you will cherish her/him immensely.  And, one day you will think it's no big deal what I am doing for my honey.

Today was the final day of a Week of Romance for my Galahad -- a dozen red roses.  He told me that this is the best Valentine's Day ever for him.  :))  Btw, he sent me gorgeous flowers, too, but the best part of this holiday for me is that I get to spend it with him doing whatever.  I remember last year when he made it special for me even though I was miserable.  He's just a wonderful man.

Last night we watched The Bourne Identity.   It's a great movie, but not like I remembered the book.  Of course, I read the book over 15 years ago, so perhaps my memory isn't all that accurate. 

I'm cranky now after having spent an hour on the phone with a BellSouth DSL level 2 technician who swore up & down that it must be my router having issues and not them.  After an hour of getting nowhere, he tells me they just got notified of server validation issues.  No fucking shit!  Hehe, I did get to say "I told you so".  Gah, I'm immature, but it felt good.  So, now I have two hours to kill with no DSL.  I feel so 20th century.  Maybe its apropos to go back in time on a romantic day such as today?  Laugh, whatever I have to tell myself to keep my sanity, right?

Thursday, February 13, 2003

Thursday, February 13, 2003

I am feeling torn lately with two friends of mine.  One is going through a just-blossoming romance, and the other is going through a heart-wrenching breakup.  The first is all giddy and happy and second-guessing every nuance as we all are wont to do in a new romance.  I'm having a great time helping him plan his Valentine's gift.  He's so cute trying to think of every possible consequence of his thoughts and actions.  And she sounds like a dream come true for him.  :)

And my second friend, I just wanna hug until Valentine's Day is over and he's back to his normal effervescent self.  Of course I believe my friends are worthy people, so I have no comprehension of how/why a woman would cast a man like him off.  It's easy for me to say to him that she has no idea the mistake she's made, but of course it's not so easy for him to believe it. 

I don't have many friends, but the ones I do have are of the highest quality of person.  I always feel like I can learn so much from each and every one of them about how to be a better person.  So many people take ethics and integrity for granted.  But in actuality, it's in quite short supply lately, and it makes my heart smile when I see someone who has it.  And, of course on the flip side, it makes my heart cry when I see someone of integrity get hurt and perhaps start to doubt themselves.  I hear women complain that there are no nice men left, and yet I see nice men getting hurt by some of these same women who either have unrealistic expectations or who are not of the same integrity and don't truly appreciate what they had.   

I have learned in my adult years to have better personal integrity than what I had learned as a child.  I still feel like I have quite a road to traverse, which I suppose makes me notice it more (and admire it) in others.  I sincerely hope that those people who have it and get hurt by others do not unlearn their wonderful traits.  On the eve of this Valentine's Day, I am ever so grateful that Galahad is in my life and treats me like the woman I aspire to be.  Plus he makes me laugh --- even when I'm sick & miserable.  ;)

Last night he surprised me with sushi and two movies, Ice Age and The Bourne Identity.  Ice Age was very cute, and I'm looking forward to The Bourne Identity tonight, although I doubt it will be as good as the book.  Gah, I love that book.

For those of you following Galahad's gift saga, today was Stargazer Lilies and other stuff.  He thinks I'm crazy, and I suppose I am, but he truly is worth it.  :)

Wednesday, February 12, 2003

Wednesday, February 12, 2003

I'm a bit better today so no doctor for me.  Yay!!!!!  I'm actually working some today also.  I sound like shit on the phone though, but at least people know I wasn't faking it.

Galahad just called to thank me for part 3 of his gift --- a cutesy bear and yummy chocolates.  He said he was getting embarrassed.  Uh oh.  He felt bad that he hadn't sent me anything yet, and I tried to tell him that the jacket he sent me last week meant more to me than anything he could send now.  I used to think I had a big vocabulary, and I knew how to use it.  Now, I think I can't find the proper words to convey how very much his regular actions mean to me.  Most people just froze last week if they didn't have a jacket.  I had my snuggly purple fleece sent to me by my honey.  He even lectured the UPS guy to make sure I received it the next day.  No mistakes.  Gah, I adore him!  :)

Tuesday, February 11, 2003

Tuesday, February 11, 2003

Fuck, I hate being sick!  I never get sick.  How the fuck did I get sick?  :(

I'm kind of cranky, can you tell?  I guess I'll go to the doctor tomorrow if I don't see any improvement.  I've been downing Thera-Flu, Benadryl, and Imitrex so I can rest medicine.  (Hehe, I have that commercial stuck in my head.)  k back to bed for me.  Yesterday, I finished one of my books I was reading, and the protagonist died on the 2nd to last page.  I hate books like that.  Maybe I'll go watch a Disney movie.  :)
 
P.S. Galahad just received his bamboo plant (part 2 of my Valentine's gift).  He's bringing it home tonight cuz he said it needs more light than he has in his office.  Dunno how he knows that, but I believe him.  ;)  I'm curious to see what the tulips look like that he got yesterday.  They don't usually live that long, so I doubt I'll get to see them.  I'm just happy that they made him smile.  :)

Monday, February 10, 2003

Monday, February 10, 2003

/whine

I feel yucky, and I think I have a fever and swollen glands.  :(

I flew home yesterday (thank goodness) and was met by my lovely Galahad who is also sick & miserable.  We spent the day in bed commiserating on being sick.  And, of course, a sinus problem for me is quickly followed by a migraine. So last night, I dosed up on Benadryl & Imitrex and slept for about 6 hours.

Today, I called in sick, but I encouraged Galahad to go to work (not that he would have stayed home anyway) because I had ulterior motives.  I knew flowers were arriving for him today for Valentine's Day.  :)  Yes, I know it's early, but why wait to tell him how much he means to me.  Plus, he gets all the quality flowers first, and he has all week to enjoy them at work.

Sunday, February 9, 2003

Sunday, February 9, 2003

You would not believe the day I had yesterday.  First, I woke up with a sore throat, but resourceful me had packed some of my vitamin C crystals, so that helped for a bit.  They dissolve in hot water and make a tasty yet healthful beverage. ;)

Btw, I just reread yesterday's entry and I didn't mean to come across as conceited.  I had several moments of insecurity when I called Galahad and whined about some of my many flaws.  He just gave me a pep talk each time and called them battle scars that I should not be afraid of.  Gah, he's wonderful!!  I also called Maximus previously to get a pep talk, so my confidence was somewhat artificially boosted.  :)

So back to my weird day.

We had a mandatory breakfast for everyone, which I of course would never miss anyway.  Most people looked like shit since they had stayed out partying all night.  Dunno why I got sick cuz I've been doing mostly healthy things --- although my sleep has suffered a bit.  Towards the end of breakfast, we got abruptly interrupted by a group of fighter pilots and megaphones.  They marched us out of there and into another room.  It turns out they were our motivational team building people, affectionately known as Afterburner Seminars.  Their big motto is 'Business is Combat', which I oh so don't agree with.  No one dies when I screw up.  But apparently I was in the minority as everyone else thought it was fabulous.  They were very easy on the eyes though in their sexy flight suits.   ;)  We heard examples of task saturation where 100 people died cuz of 3 people's mistakes.  I thought the whole analogy was a bit harsh, but who the fuck am I anyway?  ;)

We had a 2 hour break (nap time) and then it was off to MGM Studios for dinner.  My company had rented out a part of it for our exclusive use.  We arrived to a tickertape parade in our honor and crowds of people (extras) behind barricades asking for our autographs.  It was cute. 

Dinner was a choice of 3 buffets (Italian, Mexican, or Chinese) along the streets of New York City.  Then, off to the other section for dessert.  My female friend and I were offered a ride by a charming gentleman in his antique car.  We hopped aboard and were driven around like celebrities.  We waved at all of our colleagues (those peasants) who had to walk. 

Four attractions were opened for us:  MuppetVision 3D, Star Tours, Tower of Terror, and Rockin' Roller-Coaster.  I went on only two cuz I didn't think I was up to the rigorous physical toll the other two would take.  I was given all kinds of peer pressure to go on them, but I held my ground and am glad I did.  No emergency trips to my chiropractor needed.  :)

We had a DJ as well who played some great oldies and mixes.  And, I danced with my CEO and with my division president.  Okay, it wasn't close dancing, but they were in my vicinity and made eye contact.  lol.   I was a little bit cold, but the dancing warmed me up.  Btw, I was wearing 3 layers under the jacket that Galahad shipped to me.

I came back relatively early and was in bed & packed by 11:30 PM.  All in all, it was a fun way to end my trip.

Saturday, February 8, 2003

Saturday, February 8, 2003

Last night was a success!  I did not trip at all, and I managed to walk gracefully about 95% of the time.  I had to take geisha steps when walking across the slippery tiles, though, and not my normally long gait.

It felt kinda good to wow everyone although it was a bit uncomfortable watching my colleague's eyes see me as a sexy woman for once.  Normally, I dress very modestly around them.  A friend asked me if it felt good to watch so many unknown men jump to do my bidding (they did literally jump up) just because of how I was dressed.  My answer was a yes & no.  Yes, it felt nice at first, but no it didn't because I could quickly see how shallow that was.  I would rather make an impression because of my essential wendynessTM than because some man is listening to his testosterone.  I guess that's why I don't dress all that sexily anymore.  It is fun once in a while to lead a man around by his hormones, but I guess it isn't as much fun for me at a business function.

I'm kind of curious to see if my ensemble will have any lasting effects once we all get back to the regular work week.  I'm pretty sure that my colleagues will return to normal with me, so I guess I'm just wondering how others might act.

Friday, February 7, 2003

Friday, February 7, 2003

Yay!!!  Galahad sent me my jacket via UPS, and it arrived today.  Tomorrow night, I'm supposed to attend an outdoor mandatory event, and I was so sure I would be freezing.  Gah, he really spoils me.  :)

I'm in-between events right now, so I did the girl thing and washed my hair & shaved my legs.  I'm so sleepy -- I really wanna nap, but then my hair will dry all fucked-up.  Cocktails at 6:30 (which I will be skipping).  Dinner at 7: 30, which I would never skip.  And, the awards banquet at 8:45.  Wish me luck that I don't trip and that my feet don't get too mangled from my 4 inch heels. 

Btw, I forgot to mention about my limo driver on Wednesday.  He was very surprised that I seemed to be intelligent.  Wtf?  Do I look like a bimbo?  Meanwhile, I've hired him several times, and he just noticed that I might have a brain???  I guess I do look like a bimbo.  I hope that means I at least look cute.  ;)

Thursday, February 6, 2003

Thursday, February 6, 2003

I survived my first day in Orlando.  It's pretty overwhelming for me to be around so many people all at once and to be cheery & friendly for so long.  My evenings aren't even my own.  Part of me is having a great time catching up with people I haven't seen in a few years, but I can't walk more than 10 feet without having to stop and say hello.  It's crazy to get anywhere.

And, my roommate is very cool, but it's very odd to sleep 5 feet away from a stranger.  I need my alone time.  I'm nervous about tomorrow night which is a formal dress occasion.  I've been told it's a nasty competition among women about who outshines whom.  If I had known that, I would have definitely planned on pants.  Somehow, I got brave and picked out a dress.  It's not the dress so much that scares me, it's the 4 inch heels that go with it.  I already warned my friends that I will be walking very slowly.   ;)   I don't wanna seem like I succumbed to the competition cuz I really don't give a shit.   Oh well, I will just hope for the best that I don't trip.   :)

Wednesday, February 5, 2003

Wednesday, February 5, 2003

Last night Galahad took me out for a romantic, relaxing sushi dinner.  I had such a stressful day at work, plus it was our last night together for a few nights.  :(   Sigh.  I miss him already.

There are two little mourning doves sitting on the chairs on our back patio.  They are so cute and look so cozy & peaceful there.  :)

Monday, February 3, 2003

Monday, February, 3, 2003

Hehe, I just got a telemarketing call and he asked to speak to my mother or father.  I have to remember that one.  He hung up very quickly when I said they weren't here.

/wonders if I should be offended that I sound like a little girl

Sunday, February 2, 2003

Sunday, February 2, 2003

I wasn't going to say anything about what happened on Friday night, but in hindsight, it is pretty funny.  Actually, it was funny at the time just kind of embarrassing.  I still feel stupid, but amused all at the same time.

Galahad and I met up with my new friend, Futureboy, at Ft Lauderdale Beach.  We parked at the Beach Place since it was easy & convenient.  We had a great time and walked along the strip until we settled on the little German place, Bierbrunnen.  Galahad had only 1 beer, and I of course had my water.  The food was yummy, and the company was fabulous.  It got later & later and colder & colder, so we finally decided to say goodnight to him and walk back to our car.

We walked back through the Beach Place into the parking garage.  We had parked in a corner spot, and I shivered my way over there, yawning along the way -- yet still trying to be vigilant for potential thugs.  :)   We get to the corner spot, and it's empty.  I'm shocked and starting to feel sick.  Now, I'm wondering if perhaps we parked in a tow-away zone that was hotel only.  We decided to go up one level in case we misjudged.  We walk all the way around the loop to get up, and that corner spot is empty also.  Now, I'm just miserable & so cold.  I keep looking at the empty spot waiting for my car to magically appear.  We start thinking of what we've left in the car that is now gone, too. 
Fortunately, I keep my car pretty clean, so I really only had some CD's. 

We look for broken glass on the ground to see if someone smashed the window to gain entry.  Nothing.  We walk back down to the 1st floor so we can report it to the front guard people.  We stop on the level we thought we were on and look for glass there, too.  Nothing.  We are almost at the guard level when Galahad says let's just look here, too.  I'm sure we didn't park on that level, but I wanted to delay the inevitable.  Tada!!!!!!!!   There's my yummy car!   I was so happy to see it.   I was so sure we didn't park on this level, but there it was, and I felt so stupid for being so worried.  Imagine if we had reported it, and it was found right where we left it??!!!!  Omfg, what dumbasses we were.   We laughed the whole way home.  =D