attack of the 'what ifs'

Anxiety is kicking my ass lately.  What if I never...?  What if X happens? 

I've tried several methods to quiet my brain, but I can't seem to get ahead of this.  I've tried guided meditation, walking in nature, weightlifting, socializing, alcohol, distractions, and talking to a trusted friend, among other things. 

I'm at my wit's end and not sure how much longer I can endure. 

My stomach is in knots, and I have to force myself to eat.  It usually wears off in a few days, so I'm hopeful I can stick it out until then.  Wish me calm.

Happy January

I've been using the daily action items from Action for Happiness calendars as a fun guide to add more smiles into the world, selfishly some of my own.

Today's Happy January is to go outside and notice five things that are beautiful.

Royal Palm Trees

Green Heron

20 for 20

I stopped making New Year's resolutions years ago.   If I want to change something, I'll change it whenever.   However, I started creating fun lists of things to do every year that would make my life better in some aspect.   I have a whole year to accomplish them, so there's not as much pressure on January first. 

One of the items on this year's list is to go back to my dermatologist.  On the surface, it's awful and I'll probably cry a lot.  But in the end, I need to get checked again for skin cancers that I can't see or may have missed.   It's something I managed to procrastinate all of last year.

I also like to put items on to push me out of my comfort zone.  Because that's where personal growth happens.  Right now, I have 'buy a sundress' on my list, but I may change it.  I haven't been much of a dress person before, but I'm attempting to expand my horizons.  Last year, I got three new dresses and wore more skirts and dresses than I have in the past several years combined.  So many women rave about how comfortable sundresses are.  I would like to feel more comfortable and confident wearing them, so it's on my list for now.  It's all predicated if I can actually find one that fits me.  But I have a year to look.

I need to find a couple more items to put on my list, so please send any suggestions my way.