not as bad as I expected

I finally went to get fresh food after not stepping foot inside a grocery store for over a month.  Because I had been traveling, I decided to do the responsible thing and self-quarantine for a couple of weeks.  I still had plenty of food to eat, but I really missed fresh produce.  Greens powder and frozen veggies aren't quite the same.

First I decided to walk along the beach sidewalk this morning to enjoy the nice ocean breezes and view.   The ocean was surprisingly calm, considering that we're under heavy wind warnings.  And it was delightful to watch the pelicans enjoying a deserted beach to fish and frolic.

After I walked a couple miles, I braved the scary grocery store.  I've heard such conflicting stories in different states and areas.  Some people said they couldn't find everything they wanted.  Others said, it was intimidating because of people's expressions and fear.

It kinda seemed normal to me except that all of the employees sounded muffled under their masks.  It made it a little harder to hear what they were saying.  Everyone was friendly though.  And I found everything I went for, including stuff I hadn't planned to buy.  (Hi to you, butterscotch chocolates.)  I made sure not to touch anything that I wasn't purchasing, which is how I ended up with the aforementioned chocolates.  I thought I was picking up dark chocolate truffles.  But I felt guilty to pick up something and put it back, so I bought it.

journaling and anxiety

I have no clever title for this entry.  I'm trying to lessen my anxiety by 'journaling.'  Whatever that is. 

Last night, I was lying in bed, relaxed, slipping into twilight sleep, when suddenly my brain decided to provoke an anxiety attack. 

WTF brain?!

Anyway, journaling is supposed to train my brain.   Or maybe meditation is supposed to train my brain?   Whatever.  I'm trying everything because anxiety sucks ass.

Apparently, reaching for a distraction is EXACTLY what you're not supposed to do to 'cure' anxiety.  So me calling someone for a soothing distraction was the wrong response.  But, it helped me to fall asleep, so I'll still call it a win.  Or maybe at least a draw.

And here I am the next morning, trying journaling.  Feel free to skip the next few days entries as I experiment with writing stream of consciousness.

get a grip!

Life seems to move in bursts these days.

Boring, boring, boring, EXCITING OMG, boring, boring, boring.

Or maybe my idea of excitement is different now, with most days running into one another.

I flew again a couple weeks ago, and the planes and airports are even more desolate than before.  My planes had more crew members on them than passengers.  And my flights were cancelled and re-booked at least four times.  They no longer serve any food or beverages on domestic flights, so I packed a lot of snacks.

O'Hare airport

To make my trip even more interesting, I flew home late at night (all the other flights were cancelled), and I had a tire blowout on the drive from the airport.

I pulled into a parking lot and called AAA.  They no longer allow people to ride in their tow trucks (because of the Plague) if they tow your car.  I thought I had two flat tires, which made me nervous, but I was able to add air to one to limp home on.  Originally, AAA told me close to an hour for the wait.  I didn't want to hangout on the side of the road that long, so I started to drive 5mph on my flat.  But then AAA called me back and said he was almost there.  He bumped me to the head of the line since I was stuck with a flat tire.  I gave him a good tip and thanked him profusely.

I was so exhausted when I finally got home.  And of course, I jumped into the shower and scrubbed all the Plague cooties off me.

Which brings me to today and MY BRAND NEW SET OF TIRES!!!

Holy shit, my car drives like a dream again.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

I made an appointment with my tire guy, and he remembered me from many years ago, which was fun.  My definition of fun may have changed, too.  We hung out and laughed and talked for over an hour in his warehouse.  It was so nice to be social again and see someone in person, without fear of contagion in their eyes.  We still did the physical distancing, as I'm not completely irresponsible.   And I came home and thoroughly washed my hands.

After taking a slight detour to drive by the beach.  The CLOSED beach.