Monday, November 29, 2004

 Toogle

Saturday, November 27, 2004

  Do-It-Yourself Numerology

Thursday, November 25, 2004

 Happy Thanksgiving!

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

   Oxymorons.info - Oxymorons, Oxymoron

Monday, November 22, 2004

  Googlism

Saturday, November 20, 2004

 Get your goth name

Thursday, November 18, 2004

  What Dog are You?

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

I am so sore from class last night.  Pushing myself physically does seem to be working somewhat.  My body feels better which makes me feel better a bit.

Tonight, the Sensei picked me as his partner since everyone else paired off nicely and I was the leftover one.  We were practicing our front kicks.  Apparently I made so many classic errors that he kept using me as an example to explain the right way things should be done.  :p  He told me afterwards though that I did a good workout.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

  Eric Conveys an Emotion

Monday, November 15, 2004

My brother called me last night and sounded pretty down.  Actually two of my brothers called me last night but only one sounded down.  :p  Anyway, I felt bad to talk to him since I was in no shape to give inspiration and a pep talk.  He seemed to want to talk to me even with my shitty mood.  And, he reminded me that our mom had died at this time of year.  I had totally missed the day and felt proud of myself.  It's been 5 years.  This shouldn't be affecting me so strongly, but maybe that's what's been causing me to cry so easily lately.

I've been chilling out listening to Nina Simone all day.  That seems to help.  :)

Sunday, November 14, 2004

Happy Birthday, T!!

Saturday, November 13, 2004

  World Kindness Day

Friday, November 12, 2004

I kicked ass in class tonight.  I kept up with some of the hardcore guys even though he said I didn't need to do as many reps.  I'm sure I'll pay the price later, but it felt good at the time.  =)

Thursday, November 11, 2004

I must not be that badly off.  Chocolate still tastes good although it didn't cure me.  :p

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Another skipped class tonight and more of the same general funk.  :(

I've been pushing my friends away a little bit cuz I don't want to lie and say I'm fine, but I also don't want to cry their ears off.  I did pick one to cry to (lucky sap :p), so I'm not keeping this all locked up.  Plus, I have this outlet, millions (haha don't flatter myself) of semi-anonymous people sharing a tiny piece of my pain.  Thanks.  =)

It's a good thing my body pushes me to eat cuz I'm starting to lose my appetite.  Emotionally the food doesn't taste good, but physically my body is craving nourishment.  I guess that's how people overeat.  Sometimes the food inspires an emotional spark.  Lately, mine mostly tastes dull but I eat it anyway since I can't afford to lose weight.  I haven't even had chocolate in days.  Maybe that's my problem.  I don't want any though.

To top it all off, I'm dehydrated from crying so much. Thankfully, my body has been kind to me and held off on the migraine activity.

Tuesday, November 9, 2004

I skipped class last night but went tonight since it's more of an exercise and less of a martial arts class.  I almost started crying in the middle for no apparent reason.  My Sensei of course noticed that I looked pale and commented on it.  How embarrassing.  I feel so horrible to be like this, bringing down others, so mostly I just want to be alone.  I've been ditching my guy's company most nights and I know he feels helpless seeing me this way.

Before any of you decide it's clinical depression, please save your suggestions to yourself.  I refuse to see a doctor and take meds for this.  I'm either going to beat this on my own or it's going to beat me, but I'm not going to pollute my body with chemicals when it's my soul that is sick.  I've been trying to boost my hormones a bit with progesterone cream.  That has helped in the past, so I'm willing to try again.  I'm also going to stay the exercise course as that should logically help.

Monday, November 8, 2004

Last night went better and worse than I thought.  I enjoyed myself but didn't like part of me that fell back into dysfunctional family patterns.  It was very subtle, but I saw it and hated it.  Maybe it's part of my whole self-loathing phase I'm coping with.  Feel free to stop reading for a few days cuz I'm throwing myself a GIANT pity party.  :p

Sunday, November 7, 2004

I'm so sore and can barely walk.  My legs keep buckling at anomalous moments. 

As much as I'd love to crawl into bed and stay there, it's family night tonight.  We're celebrating my dad's birthday and welcoming him back to Florida since he's officially a snowbird now.  I never know what to get him partly because he has almost everything he wants and partly because he rarely shows any interest in things (to me anyway).  One interest that I happen to share (if one can call it that) is reading.  He appreciates a different genre than I, but sometimes we overlap.  Anyway, I bought him Jon Stewart's book cuz of the whole election hubbub.  I hope he enjoys it.

Friday, November 5, 2004

I've been fucked up all week, mentally & emotionally.  Part of it was watching someone close to me lose someone they love.  Part of it is just an integral piece of being Wendy.  I'm not so fond of this part of me, so I busted my ass (literally ;)) in class tonight hoping that the physical stress might ease some of my psychic pain.  It turns out the the endorphin high doesn't counteract that.  But I did get a hella-workout.  :p

Thursday, November 4, 2004

Such a long day yesterday.  I flew up & back to Raleigh for a meeting.  I didn't want to spend the night, so it was worth it to sit in airports for a few hours to enjoy my own bed.  I did weave some fun into my day by talking to a friend on my cell phone while sitting on the floor, watching the hustle & bustle of travelers.  :)  I scooted around from one spot to another, searching for the ever elusive signal from Verizon.  My friend just laughed at my foolishness as I described some of my fellow passengers in all of their glory.  It definitely passed the time quickly --- so quickly that I almost missed my flight.  Ha, I'm such a goofball sometimes.

Of course by doing that I took the risk of sitting next to someone who saw me being a dork.  Laugh.  First he remarked on my reading choice (Clive Cussler -- apparently women don't read this), then my cell phone antics, and finally my weight (or lack thereof).   He was an odd man but entertaining after a long day.  =)

Tuesday, November 2, 2004

Voting went much easier than I had anticipated.  I had one person in front of me and was out of there in 10 minutes.  I'm not sure why everyone waited hours to do early voting.  :p
 

Monday, November 1, 2004

  Ebola Monkey Man: Nigerian 419 Scam