Wednesday, March 14, 2018

the personal touch

It's never good news when a doctor calls you personally.  Sigh.

I did not get the all-clear from the pathologist.  My new doc was great though.  She explained my options (including doing nothing and letting it grow bigger, which she didn't advise doing).  She didn't use fear tactics when she explained the pros and cons of each.  It's so refreshing to be spoken to like an adult.

I have another surgery scheduled with a specialist and a plastic surgeon to minimize the damage.  Damn.  I'm crying again just typing this, and I've had a few days already to process this.

I keep reminding myself that it's not on my face, so yay!  There's always a way for something to be worse.  Gratitude is in finding that, right?

Monday, March 5, 2018

I was brave today

About two weeks ago, I picked a new dermatologist out of Google search and made an appointment for today.  I almost cancelled several times, but I finally sucked up my courage and went.

I started crying before I even met her.  By the time she came in to meet me, I was a mess.  I explained my long, sordid skin cancer history.  She wasn't judgmental at all about the fact that I stopped getting checked for many years.  I was leery of that lecture.

I pointed out the spots I was worried about, of which there were many.  She then went over my whole body with a modified jewelers loupe and even checked my scalp.  She leaned toward non-aggressive treatment and recommended only excising one spot today.  She even cauterized it instead of stitches.  "I love the smell of napalm in the morning."

I have cream to use on four other spots, and a hole in my back.  Yay?  Cross your fingers that the pathologist gives the all-clear in a couple weeks.