shower thoughts

I was having serious shower thoughts while washing my hair (which can take some time).  Apparently, the shower is a common place to access our genius lounge and is great for Eureka moments.

Anyway, I was thinking more about that predictive API.  Perhaps my writing style varies so much because it's written by an infinite number of Wendys from parallel universes??

Happy Friday!

Bennu, here we come!

The purpose of yesterday's launch is to travel to a faraway asteroid, grab some samples, and come back to Earth.  It's more complex than that, but now you have the gist.

Time to go home.

Guess who forgot to pre-medicate before the drive?  Dumbass.  But I was feeling good and in denial.  I stopped at the world-famous Ron Jon Surf Shop to finally find some board shorts that fit.  They barely had any women's in their two-story monstrosity of a building.  Fkn sexists fkrs.  I managed to get two pair that I mostly liked.

By the time I got home, I could feel the yawns starting and the migraine about to hit.  I took an Imitrex and went to bed early.  Kitten was happy to see me, and I gratefully snuggled with her in my comfy bed.

rocket's yellow glare

Launch day!

Very glad I toured the Kennedy Space Center yesterday.  Today is packed!  And I'm dealing with migraine postdrome, so I'm exhausted and hypersensitive.  Plus it feels a million degrees Fahrenheit.  So many people.  And screaming kids.  But some of the annoying children look adorable in their plastic space helmets and full flight suits.

At lunch, I met a WW2 veteran, who had flown a P-51 over Iwo Jima.  He was also a VIP guest, and he introduced me to his half-Japanese granddaughter, of whom he seemed very proud.

They loaded us on buses to the Apollo Saturn V Center, where bleachers were set up for viewing.  While I waited, I was able to explore the exhibits and walk under the most ginormous rocket ever, which took man to the fucking moon!

The man in front of me on the bleachers worked for an Inuit-owned company which helped to build some of the instruments aboard.  Pretty much everyone there had a hand in working on this mission or knew someone who did.  NerdPride was running high.

As we got closer to launch, we stood for the Star-Spangled Banner, and a huge cheer went up at the rockets' red glare line.  I know there's quite a controversy about this anthem, particularly the third stanza, but only the first was sung, and it was quite moving.

When the countdown got to 10 seconds, we all stood and counted down with the announcer.

LIFTOFF!

Huge cheers and then on to the After Party.

Yep, you read that correctly.  There was an After Party, and it was packed!  I ended up bailing and going next door to eat some Florida lobster in peace and quiet.

such a gamble

I was invited to the latest Cape Canaveral rocket launch.    With VIP passes and everything.  But how would I survive three days, including a car trip, with no migraine?

Answer:  very carefully

I took half an Excedrin before starting the road trip (which seemed to help), checked in to get my badge, and proceeded to tour the Kennedy Space Center Visitor Complex in the heat of the day.  Dumbass.

It was amazing and educational.  And very humbling.

I stood near machinery that had traveled to outer space and back.  I really wanted to read more of the plaques at each exhibit and interact with the displays.  Alas, the migraine decided otherwise. I popped an Imitrex, ate some overpriced park food (yuck), and skipped some of the exhibits, especially the 3D IMAX movies.

I did watch the movie about the creation of the space shuttle.    By the end, I was ready to sign up and travel to space, migraine and all.

[Obligatory "we can put a man on the moon but we can't cure migraines, wtf?"]

That night was dinner with genuine Rocket Scientists.  How fucking cool is that??  They were pretty much as expected, except for the human component of being away from their families for a few weeks at a time and missing home.  I learned there is a quiet (but fierce) competition between the different rocket companies, now that NASA has opened it up to several.  At times, they even work together on the same mission.

I heard the 'where were you when the SpaceX rocket exploded' stories.  They were semi-nearby and assumed the boom and shake was an infamous Florida thunderstorm, until they learned otherwise.  It didn't seem to dampen their optimistic enthusiasm for success with tomorrow's mission.

 

no really, this is the best year

To see the Perseids.  I know I said that last year, but apparently I fell for the hype.  This year is better because Jupiter is HUGE.  And gravity.  And blah blah blah.

I want to go outside and see them, but I still shudder in revulsion when I think about that giant possum who came up to me last year.  Also, miraculously, I'm sleeping better than I was a year ago.  Yippee for me.  I don't always wake up in the middle of the night anymore.

So remember tomorrow night, if you're awake after 1am (when the moon sets), go outside and look for some meteors.

happy & sad

When my head isn't throbbing and causing untold misery, I try to be happy and enjoy life.  I'm not always successful.  My feelings are quite contradictory.  For no apparent reason. 

Maybe I was born with a sad soul, and a happy personality did a walk-in at some point.  But there was some screw-up, and the sad soul never left like it was supposed to.  Or maybe in a parallel universe, it all worked out fine.  That's what I tell myself on particularly horrid days.  That somewhere in an alternate universe, I'm one happy motherfucker.  :)

gotta catch 'em all

I've been embracing my inner child lately.  And my inner nerd.  I was talking to some young internet friends about how silly their new game is.  I'm not sure what happened, but twenty minutes later, I had Pokémon Go installed on my phone.  

And after a full day of server and app crashing, I got sucked right in.  Yep, I'm a level 2 badass now.  

/Flex

This reminds me of the time RedBull did a promotional scavenger hunt.  I ended up with cases upon cases of disgusting beverages.  But I had fun tracking them down all over the city.  I even enlisted my friends and family to get more.  

So many posts about how to catch a Pokémon next door without looking creepy.  I felt like a criminal last night.  Slowly driving through dark parking lots.  Then reversing and cruising the next aisle to get closer to my virtual target.  I kept wondering how I would explain myself to a cop if I was spotted doing that and questioned.  This can go wrong in so many ways.  One teen already found a dead body while Pokémon hunting.

I suppose it's a great way to encourage kids to get exercise.  It probably doesn't work for me since I drove to all of mine.  In my defense, I had just exercised for 90 minutes.

I had a full night of shenanigans.  Exercise class, then pizza I don't love with fun friends,  then Apocalypse planning in the parking lot with aforementioned friends.  We also checked out the night sky, trying to see Jupiter behind the moon.  I ducked and covered when I saw 5 uniformed men walking our way.  They were firefighters, but my instincts were correct.  Stay away from the action.

After that, I rushed over to the grocery store before it closed.  It was amazing!  Lots of parking spaces.  Nice empty aisles.  No wait at the cashier, until I fucked up the whole chip and sign process.  Why is every machine different and tricksy?  I apologized to the woman behind me.  She was very relaxed and said she didn't mind.

As I was checking my phone (like you do) before driving home, I looked at my Pokémon app and noticed a swirly blue thing nearby.  I had no idea what it was, but I clicked it because why not.  I got stuff, I think.  And it was fun, with sparkles and sound effects.  I checked the map again and saw another blue thing across the street.  I weighed a quick drive-by against melting groceries and the migraine lurking in the back of my brain.  Swirly blue thing won.  And that's how addictions are created.

I hit three more swirly blue things on my drive home, and caught a few Pokémon.  There was another one so close to my house, but the melting groceries and the pounding migraine won that round.  Barely.

drive-by depression

I jinxed myself.  I was feeling great, and BAM!   Depression did a drive-by on me yesterday.  I probably should have expected it.  Last year was the same.  Fuck the holidays.  Fortunately, I recognized the signs early and aborted that downward-spiraling line of thought.  Only a few tears escaped their corral and leaked down my face.

Tonight, I am looking forward to NASA's Juno spacecraft doing a successful entry into Jupiter's orbit.  Yes, that Jupiter -- the giant planet a gazillion miles away, which is why it took five years to get there.  How cool is that?  Looking up at the cosmos helps me to keep my insignificant problems in perspective. 

(I don't know why the Ns are backwards in this picture.  Don't let it detract from the message.)

be my valentine?

Happy Valentine's Day.  Or Valentimes, if you prefer.  :) 

I've had a heliacal migraine for the past few days.  Only one injection so far, but a quite a bit more pills than I'd like.   By timing the pills just right, I was able to attend a party at my brother's house last night, virtually pain-free, which was a bonus. 

I'm not sure he thought so because I may have gotten into strong discussions about politics and social mores with some of his more conservative guests.  As a party trick, I did a poor job of explaining Einstein's theory of relativity, and the recent discovery of gravitational waves, coming from a non-scientific person to even lesser scientific people.  There were paper towels involved and exploding fists, along with the requisite mouth noises.  I'm sure Einstein is rolling in his grave.  Or cringing in his time travels. 

Perhaps this is why I rarely see my brother even though we live only a couple miles away from each other.  :)

On the plus side, I ate yummy food and have some leftovers.  Yay.  Of course, that's assuming I even feel like eating.  Or getting out of bed today.  Prospects are not rosy.  They were discussing diets last night, and I maturely kept to myself how well the pain diet works. 

In case any of you procrastinated and need a Valentine card, I have some nerdy links below:

http://spaceplace.nasa.gov/valentines/en/

http://mars.nasa.gov/free-holiday-ecard/love-valentine/

scientists suck at secrecy

Everyone's guesses were right that the announcement today would be about gravitational waves.  I hope none of those fkrs tries to surprise their spouse with presents.  "You'll never guess what I got you, but it's edible and rhymes with moo-she-winner."   :)

It is very exciting, even without the surprise.  And how awesome that #LIGO is still trending on Twitter six hours later.

Just me, or does the name Kip Thorne sound like the lead male in a romantic bodice-ripper?  Probably a piratical type.  Why did he have to ruin things and say no time travel?  And speaking of time-traveling, Albert Einstein had to be from the future, right?  I'm guessing his glorious mane of hair helped somehow.  I'm still working out the details, so I can take advantage with mine.

LIGO my igo

Once I had it further explained to me by my friend, Einstein (how apropos), I'm even more excited about the LIGO announcement tomorrow.  As best as I can recall (from yesterday's conversation but gimme a break, this shit is hard), current scientists, with the help of modern technology, are about to further prove Albert Einstein's brilliance from a century ago.

Not only that, but there are double black holes involved.  Plus we get to say phrases like 'event horizon' without talking about the movie.  And there are waves, but not hair waves or tidal waves.  These are gravity waves, pushing and pulling time and space, which make cute chirping noises, if you convert the gravitational wave frequencies to sound waves.  [How long before they're auto-tuned into a pop song?]

You know that's gonna be my next excuse when I'm late or why I have a migraine.  The gravitational waves pushed time and space apart and made me late.  And my head explode.  Almost makes sense.  :)

For those of you who didn't get the title reference, this video is for you:

DISCLAIMER:  Any mistakes and inaccuracies here are my own intellectual failings and/or lame attempts at humor.

Happy Groundhog Day

Good news for most of you superstitious types, Punxsutawney Phil did not see his shadow this morning.  Allegedly.  That means an early Spring, assuming Mercury is out of retrograde.  :P  [Someone told me the reason why everyone had a terribly shitty week a couple weeks ago was because Mercury was in retrograde.  Coincidence??]

Me?  I live in the tropics and therefore love winter.  It's like air conditioning outside, too.  I'm hoping for a long winter.  Minus the snowbirds. 

The rains and tornadoes finally cleared up, and the baby iguanas are no longer huddling together for warmth, looking miserable and forlorn.  Now, they're out enjoying the sunshine, which is what I intend to do, come lunchtime.

the future is coming

If you missed the amazing rocket launch AND FKN LANDING yesterday, you'll be happy to know it was recorded for posterity.  Don't I wish I had been there to see that one, too??  Laugh, I'm so greedy.  Give me one, and I want three.

I don't always love the future though.  It feels way too intrusive at times.  Like wanting to scan my fingerprints everywhere I went in Universal Studios.  What the fuck is up with that?  You wanna enter after you've paid the equivalent of a month's rent, scan your fingerprint.  You want to store your items (which is mandatory) in a locker before a ride, scan your print.  Pick them up?  Scan again.  I was almost surprised I didn't have to scan them to use the ladies room.  Which I totally forgot to mention Moaning Myrtle was in.  Squee!

Another 'improvement' I don't like?  Fkn inside out sushi rolls.  They have become so standard these days, that fkn millennials think inside out means seaweed on the outside.  What the fkn fuck?  And apparently so does the waitstaff.  Because that's how my millennial friend ordered them (inside out) last night, and they came seaweed outside.  We got into a argument, and if I hadn't been eating sushi for 20 years, I might have doubted my own knowledge.  She was one hundred percent certain of that.  And the kicker?  She used to work in a sushi restaurant.


Status updates: 
No sign of the catnip mousie Kitten absconded with a few days ago. 
No sign of Godzilla, even when I went closer to investigate (because I felt brave with my boots on).

never take the name of migraine in vain

My 9 day migraine-free streak ended.  With another boom.  Of a motherfucking rocket launch.  I had the day off to drive to Orlando for a mini-vacation.  You know, to make some happy memories.  Spur of the moment and three prior launch delays produced serendipity.  I arrived at Merritt Island five minutes before the launch.  The cloud cover was brutal, so I saw only a small glimpse, but it was nerdy cool.  

The rocket boom was more subtle than I expected and definitely didn't cause the migraine.  Probably the long car trip did.  And by long, I mean anything over 20 minutes. 

Next stop Harry Potter and Hogwarts!

making it rain

It's still pouring here.  In fact, we're under flood watch now.  Fortunately, I stopped crying two days ago, so I no longer need the rain to camouflage my tears.  Unfortunately, Mother Nature didn't stop.  The weather was so bad yesterday that they postponed the rocket launch from yesterday to today, although that may not be enough.

I mentioned that I might share some of my recent dumb-ass purchases with you guys.  With 100% humidity in the air, I can use all the help I can get with my hair, so it was fortuitous that my new hair products arrived first.  No, I haven't tried them yet because I'm being stubborn and forcing myself to use up at least one old tube first.  The one on the left smells divine.  I'm not sure how much longer I can hold out.  I've been using extra of my regular stuff, Tresemme Curl Definition Jelly, because of the weather and because I'm anxious to try the new.  It makes my hair feel like straw though.  Ugh.  But it does keep the frizz at bay.  I wish I had read the reviews on it before I impulse bought it at the store. 

Kitten was not pleased this morning when she tried to take her morning constitutional.  She went out the back, didn't like the rain, and came in the front.  Then, she immediately tried to go out the back again.  She sniffed, came back inside, and tried the front once more.  After a few times in and out, she gave up and is curled up in her box, sleeping off a belly full of pork tenderloin.

one potato, two potato, old potato, blorgh!

Text to Einstein: Am I dying again?
Einstein: Probably.  What did you eat this time?
Wendy: a questionable sweet potato.  Was it too old?
Einstein:  How the fuck should I know?

(haha, just kidding, he didn't say that, although we all know he was thinking it.  He's way too nice to verbalize it, however.)

This potato seemed a bit off.  I hate wasting food, so I ate it anyway.  I may play it safe and throw the rest of the bag out.  Maybe just the soft, fuzzy ones.  Just goofing.  Or am I?  Sigh, I thought potatoes were supposed to last longer.  I'm sure I'm storing them incorrectly, but I'm confused where else to store them.  I know they're not supposed to be in the fridge, but there is no other cool, dark spot in the house.  It's Florida, ffs.  Everywhere else is 75-80 F.  We don't have basements or root cellars.  Fuck, I don't even know what a root cellar is, except something from a horror movie, WHICH I REFUSE TO WATCH.

Maybe I need to stop buying them (sweet potatoes, not horror movies.  That would be weird considering I won't watch them).  Or at least stop buying a bag at a time, and buy only one or two.  I'd never last a fkn day on Mars by myself, growing my own potatoes.  Even if I could text Einstein for tips.  You may have read how I've killed off copious amounts of orchid plants.  I'm amazed every day that I haven't accidentally poisoned myself or the cat.  We must be hardy stock.

Definitely write yourself a mental note, never eat at Wendy's house.  :P

#FastLivesMatter

I passed by a few Starbucks' drive-thrus and am puzzled by human behavior.  I'm not a genius in the kitchen by any means as you may have deduced by now, and even I can make delicious tasting coffee (most days).  Why the fuck would you wait in long lines to pay 13 times the price at Starbucks?  Also, if you're doing it for the caffeine boost, it's much more helpful to get that boost before you leave the house.  Even if you don't have a kitchen, all you need is an electric outlet and access to water.  Just saying.

It's always a crap-shoot when driving on south Florida highways what one might find on them.  Today's theme was nautical in nature.  I saw a boat canopy and boat stairs, separately.  I'm just glad they were already off their respective boats and on the ground when I saw them.  Ironically enough, I didn't see any boats, just one smallish yacht, even though today is a gorgeous day to take your boat out.

For the love of all that's holy and my sanity, if multiple vehicles are passing you on the right, you're driving too slowly in the left lane.  Move the fuck over.  I don't care if 75 or 80 mph feels fast to you, move the fuck over.  For anyone who wants to know who the worst offenders are, my unofficial poll was equal amounts male and female.  However, today they were all white.  Fkn white privilege.   #FastLivesMatter

I took my regular trek to get my clinical trial migraine shot, hence all the traffic nonsense.  The same nurse administered my shot as last time, but her chakras weren't balanced today or something.  She hurt me with the blood-draw, and then the shot burned like 5 Suns.  C'mon, Wendy, don't exaggerate.  Maybe only 4 Suns.  

On the way home, I stopped at the store to get some groceries.  I had used up the last of the heavy whipping cream for my coffee this morning and needed to re-supply.  It turns out it's eggnog season already.  That sounded much better than half-and-half (this store doesn't carry organic heavy cream).  I know there's sugar in the (organic) eggnog, but I can adjust the sweetness in my coffee accordingly.  Speaking of sugar, why are there 63 kinds of peanut butters and none there without sugar?  Remember when peanut butter used to be peanuts and salt only?  Now, I have to make a special trip to the peanut butter grocery store, a.k.a. Trader Joe's, who incidentally also carry organic heavy cream.

The cashier who was ringing up my groceries was very friendly.  I will not say flirtatious because he was very young, and I refuse to believe that.  Lalalala (hands over my ears), not listening.  Anyway, we got to talking about my t-shirt (it was Dumbo with his magic feather), my choice of coffee condiments (he prefers butter but seemed interested in the eggnog and the ice cream ideas), and how my day was going so far.  I was happy he wasn't observant enough to see the needle marks on my arm from the blood-draw.  I had ripped the bandages off in the car to attract less attention.  Somehow that was a very long conversation for only 4 items.  No one was behind me though; I checked because  #FastLivesMatter.

remember, remember, the 5th of november

Remember, remember
the 5th of November
Gunpowder, treason and plot.
I know of no reason
Why the Gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot! 


Apropos of nothing, I was reading an article about how the the concept of love becomes harder as we age, which is a depressing thought if you think about it.  They claim that intelligent, independent people have an even harder time falling in love, presumably because we think too much and don't believe in magic anymore.

Fuck that.  I reject their premise.  They also say that the more independent one is, the more likely one feels suffocated by a potential mate.  However, wouldn't an independent person attract another independent person?  And wouldn't they both feel the need to have solitude thereby nullifying the suffocation feeling?  Or am I being hopelessly naive?

Whatever.  No matter how intelligent or independent I may be, I still believe in magic; hence my magical hair.  :)

Magic is all around us in everyday occurrences and objects, if we choose to see it.  How does my cat know how to find her way home every morning?  Why does a feral-born creature even want to come back to a human for snuggles?  She's very independent, so technically we don't snuggle on a daily basis.  I guess I'm independent enough to be comfortable with that.  :)

Science has all kinds of logical explanations about everything, but until these are known, the results seem magical.  The universe is vast and full of possibilities.  If that isn't magical, I don't know what is.  Maybe I'm being simple-minded or trying to rationalize, but I see magic everywhere.  In fact every day that I don't have a migraine, I call that a win in the magic column.

And to help everyone's quest for love, here are some questions designed to either make you closer to your potential mate or perhaps show you quickly that you're incompatible.  This question made me laugh:  30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?  Anyone who knows me knows I've cried in the last week (or hour, who's counting), although I do try to be circumspect about crying in front of people.  Not everyone reacts well to tears.

Remember, remember.  Magic is everywhere.  Don't forget to notice it.

"how many kids do you want?"

I met my family for lunch at a mall restaurant yesterday.  Back to the snooty part of town again.  My brother asked how my eye was and wasn't happy to hear it's no better.  Get in line, fkr.  My dad jumped into the conversation saying his eyes have never been better.  That's when I called dibs on them when he dies.  My brother spit out his water he laughed so hard.

I decided to go shopping in the mall afterward.  Because I haven't been there in years.  And because at lunch, I admitted to my family that I suffer from anxiety.  And because I feel the need to force myself past it sometimes.  And to show my anxiety who's boss.  Today, anyway.

And then I get rewarded with lame pickup lines from Eurotrash hipsters.  I was wearing my new Mars Generation t-shirt because Launch Support was my Halloween costume.    :)   Eurotrash Man asked what Mars Generation was.  Trying not to judge a book by its cover, I thought perhaps he was a space geek.  But eventually the conversation devolved into asking how many kids I wanted, which is when I bailed.  I didn't want to hear about my perfect child-bearing hips, so I ducked into an up-scale women's funky boutique to lose him.  Fortunately he didn't follow; however I was prepared to hang out by the lingerie for as long as it took. 

I probably could have picked a better day than a Halloween Saturday to push past my anxiety.  Oh well.  It was cute seeing all the little kids trick-or-treating in costume.   One little boy had on an inflatable fat Sumo wrestler suit.  It was adorable watching him waddle through the mall. 

I stopped in another store to admire a blazer, and a saleswoman pounced on me.  Usually, they turn up their noses in disgust because I don't look like their normal clientele.  Maybe it was my magical hair.  Or perhaps my Launch Support t-shirt fooled her.  She told me how fabulous the blazer was, and she wasn't lying.  It was very nice.   She started with a size 4 (too large on me) and worked her way down to a zero (too tight on my massive shoulders and triceps, massive I tell you).  I said to her that I was deceptively both bigger and smaller than I looked, which she decided was a nice problem to have.  She settled on a 2 that she scavenged from a mannequin.  I almost bought it out of guilt by that point.  

But I didn't love it.  And it was $160.  Turns out that was a bargain after seeing blazers in a few more stores.  I'm not a fan of double-breasted blazers on me though.  It will go out of style before I wear it more than a few times because it's too hot to wear jackets here much.  She told me that my form-fitting paper thin t-shirt with the cap sleeves was bulking up the jacket and making the shoulders tight.  I'd have to wear a camisole under it instead, meaning I couldn't ever remove it at a professional event.  Not very practical.  I passed.

I wandered around a bit more, but I was done in and desperately avoiding eye contact at this point.  I couldn't make strides back to my car fast enough.  And finally back home in my bubble.  Ahhhh.

surfing the red planet

Nasa has confirmed today that they believe that water is flowing on Mars.  How fkn amazing is that??  Don't you want to go playing in that landscape?

What would I wear though?  My eternal lament.  I hate shopping and really wouldn't know where to begin to buy a Martian wardrobe.  I'm thinking board shorts over bikini bottoms just to be safe, though.

Speaking of Mars, I highly recommend reading The Martian by Andy Weir.  It's definitely nerdy and somewhat science-y, but even if you aren't, you can skip over some of the calculation parts and just go with the story.  It's like watching a superhero movie.  You don't necessarily need to know how Iron Man's suit works to be entertained.