Sunday, January 31, 2016

do you ever daydream?

And let your mind wander and think about silly stuff?  Or do you constantly fill every free minute with activities and distractions?  I've been guilty lately of keeping my phone next to me almost all the time, like a security blanket.  Or a best friend.  :(  Talking to me, and whispering in my head that I'll be interesting and fun if I listen to more podcasts or read the next cool thing on Twitter.

I have been making a conscious effort to leave my phone on the charger, or at least not glued to my hand constantly.  That backfired a week ago when I felt like I was dying and couldn't crawl to my phone to call someone.  My pride or stubbornness wouldn't have let me call anyway.  But maybe I could have left a voice memo with my last thoughts.  That would have been boring though, mostly "FUUUUCK, this hurts" and "someone please feed and love Kitten."  Okay, that's out of the way.  Just assume those are my last thoughts, whenever I die.

At some point, my phone went from being a useful tool to being vital.  Is the world going to end if I can't look up a song lyric immediately?  Or if I get stuck in traffic because I didn't look at GPS navigation before driving?  Obviously not.  So why is my phone tethered to me? 

It's sitting seven inches from me now, mocking me with it's blinking light that I have a new something on it.  Ugh, do I check it now and interrupt my creative flow or let it fester in the back of my mind and wonder what it is?  Is it a text from a friend?  Family?  New email?  Instant message?  Voicemail?  Weather alert?  Not a tornado warning, because I've learned that makes noises and scares me.  Years ago, when I got my first BlackBerry, I learned how to set time limits for my work emails, so I don't have that stress scraping at me on weekends or late at night.

You're wondering if I checked it or not.  Sigh, I wish I could be all noble and say hell no, it can wait.  I caved and checked it.  Sensei was asking how I feel because he's been down all weekend with a migraine.  Don't I feel all healthy and cured now?  Three days migraine-free makes me cocky.  ;)  Maybe it was all the liver

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