Wednesday, December 31, 2003

Wednesday, December 31, 2003

2003 is almost over.  The years seem to fly by now, and yet time stands still.  I don't feel much older than I was 15 years ago --- maybe a little more confident or better able to handle difficult situations but not any less silly or childlike.  I think I have less tolerance for character-lacking people and perhaps more tolerance for others.  Heh, or maybe it just varies depending on my hormonal levels.  ;)

So I bet you're wondering how I am surviving?  I took tons of vitamin C and glutamines last night and today.  I also took some regular aspirin when I felt the fever taking hold.  Anyway, so far so good.  :) 

Happy New Year!

Tuesday, December 30, 2003

Tuesday, December 30, 2003

I'm starting to get a little worried. I got a scratchy throat yesterday and a teensy bit of a fever. Galahad told me that was the first sign of this nasty flu.


My action plan:
  1. dosed up on glutamine and more vitamin C
  2. begged Galahad to shoot me if I got the flu and the obligatory migraine
  3. gave the white blood cells and helper T cells in my arms a firm lecture that they were to take immediate action with extreme prejudice on any viral activity (heh, don't ask me why just there.  Did I mention my sanity is being evasive? I don't even remember if those are the correct fighter cells.)
  4. went to bed early

This morning I am doing nominally better. So far no Excedrin or Imitrex consumed. Yay!!! =) I feel odd but maybe that's cuz I am. =p Last time I thought I felt feverish, I took my temperature and it was 97°F. Perhaps that's why I'm always cold? Okay, curiosity got me. I officially have a low-grade temp, 99.3°F. Does that actually count?

I bet you're dying to know what fabulous gift I got for my honey. He is now the proud owner of a bat house! Not just any bat house either, but a pretty one with shingles and a copper-tipped roof. I originally thought about getting him a Mosquito Magnet, but a friend (Thanks Stuart!) suggested a bat house instead to combat the mosquito issues we get in rainy season. Anyway, he loved it! He was so excited and researched where to place it. Laugh, it will probably take him 3-6 weeks for him to get the pole installed to his satisfaction.

Monday, December 29, 2003

Monday, December 29, 2003

I am so not ready to be back at work today.  I don't feel like I even had a vacation really, more like a long weekend.  Plus, ^^%$@*@(^$@# my head is still hurting.  Two more days of this and I may drown myself in the pool.  :(  Actually, I'm not depressed (surprisingly), but I am starting to lose my shaky grasp on sanity.

Sunday, December 28, 2003

Sunday, December 28, 2003

Fucking theater is fucking sold out again.  I know you're wondering why I didn't just call ahead and reserve seats.  My head has been killing me most of this week, so I wasn't sure I would be up for it.  And, actually I was secretly relieved it was sold out because I needed to rest.  Taking so many meds is taking a toll on me.    :(

Friday, December 26, 2003

Friday, December 26, 2003

I had a lovely time with my family the past two days despite still having this fucking migraine.

Wednesday, December 24, 2003

Wednesday, December 24, 2003

Shoot me now.  I woke up at 6 am from a bad dream that I had a migraine only to discover that in fact I had a bad migraine.  :(  Since I was still sleepy, I took a pill conveniently located next to my bedside and tried to go back to sleep.  Yeah, that was a dumb idea but who thinks clearly at 6 am with a migraine?  Laugh, not I.  So, 2 hours later with no relief in sight, I got up to do my Imitrex nasal inhaler.  I did remember not to inhale this time, so the back of the throat taste was not as excruciating as before.  I forgot that isn't as quick as a shot.  Eventually, that kicked in nicely to make me not care so much that I was in pain.  I was able to stumble downstairs to get some water and a tasty breakfast of 2 Excedrin.  Yum.  Now, I'm wired & lassitudinous (dunno if that's a real word, but you get the gist).  And my oatmeal tastes like nasal inhaler.  Yuck!  :(  I can't get that taste out of my throat.  Time to gargle with peroxide.  So anyway, merry christmas eve.  =p

I'm even more bummed that I wasted 2 hours of pain-free time last night on a horribly vexatious movie.  Do NOT ever waste your time watching Adaptation!  It is a pointless and boring ego trip for the screenwriter.  Perhaps if you're one of those snooty movie aficionados you might like it, dunno.

Anyway, time to bring Galahad's presents out of hiding, add bows, and put them under the tree.  =)

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

I'm starting to panic.  My vacation is going by too fast.  I'm caught in my own space/time continuum.  The week is almost half over and I feel as if it hasn't even started yet.

The good news is that I managed to catch my mailman today and gift him with a bottle of holiday cheer.  :)  I still havta figure out the garbage men tomorrow and the recycling guy too, I assume.  Oh well, off to laze by the pool with a good book and homemade biscotti.  =)

Monday, December 22, 2003

Monday, December 22, 2003

Mmmmmm, I love having the week off.  Too bad Galahad doesn't.  So, I still end up waking early to make him breakfast and tea.  Oh well, he's most definitely worth it.

I spent the day goofing off and the afternoon with my friend.  We spoke a lot about girly stuff --- relationships, etc.  Somehow lately, too many people I know and love are ending their marriages.  It's easy not to take sides when it's a mutual decision or if I'm closer to one partner than the other.  However, when it's not mutual, good god it's tough to not take sides.  When I see someone I love in the most pain I've ever seen them in, it takes a strong will not to dislike the person causing them that pain.  But, as my friend pointed out, you're fooling yourself if you think it will be better staying in a relationship with someone who doesn't wanna be with you.

Someone asked me why life is so complicated.  Heh, I had to tell him I didn't know.  It just is, so accept it.  When you struggle against that concept, you are in effect struggling against the universe. 

Sunday, December 21, 2003

Sunday, December 21, 2003

I called this morning as soon as I woke up (promptly at 11 am ;)) to reserve seats for Lord of the Rings.  It was sold out all day (10 shows) until midnight.  Who can plan a movie that far in advance?  What if you aren't in the mood for it when the times rolls around?  Or is that just me?  I didn't even think it would still be sold out 5 days later.  I was too busy scheming which purse to switch out so I would have room to pack some snacks.  How am I ever gonna survive 3.5 hours?  Maybe order the pizza there and snack on that?  Otherwise, it's hard to eat a meal in the dark.

So on to other plans.  I made a concession and read my book snuggled on the couch so our kitty emeritus could snuggle also.  I don't allow him in our bed, meanie that I am.  Meanwhile, Galahad tackled the project of removing the old pool pump and installing the new one.  Apparently, our disheveled closet will wait longer.  :)

I'm just ecstatic that he's feeling better.  The broken pool motor could have waited also.  Haha, I'm such white trash.

Friday, December 19, 2003

Friday, December 19, 2003

I can't figure out this holiday tipping concept.  I sent a goody basket to my chiropractor's office.  But exactly how do I tip the garbage men?  Or better yet, why?  No offense to them, they do a marvelous job, but I don't have a personal relationship with them like I do with the staff at my chiropractor's office.  In fact, I have no clue what they look like since I'm never up that early.  I have a love-hate relationship with them at best.  I love the fact that they pick up my garbage (for a fee of course), but I hate that reverse beeping noise as they negotiate their truck into the corner near my house.  I usually bury my head under the pillow trying to block it out and get my last 5 minutes of pretend sleep.  So now I'm supposed to tip them?  Again, why?

I'm not buying most of the people in my family presents, yet the garbage men and mailman are getting something.  Doesn't that seem wrong?  I suppose I tell my siblings, "Sorry bro, I blew my budget on the garbage men....merry christmas though."  When did mandatory holiday tipping come into place?  I hear in NYC that it's not only mandatory, it's fairly militant.  Dire consequences could happen if you don't.

My company's customers don't give us presents.  In fact, it's quite the opposite.  We give our special (READ: large) customers presents as appreciation.  Shouldn't the city be giving me gifts for using their garbage vendors? 

Thursday, December 18, 2003

Thursday, December 18, 2003

Well I did it.  I cut the bottom off my CBGB shirt.  I also parted with several of my shirts, 2 pairs of shoes, and various accessories.  And, I'm not done yet.

As I write this, I am listening to an approximately 90 minute pre-recorded conference call.  I'm 82 minutes into it and losing my mind rapidly.  :(

Wednesday, December 17, 2003

Wednesday, December 17, 2003

Divine Intervention has occurred.  I may have witnessed a miracle.  Either that or Father Physics snuck into our home in the manner of Santa Claus and decided we didn't need a full night's sleep last night.  Wtf am I talking about you wonder? 

/sets the scene

I was recovering from Monday's night's migraine yesterday and accidentally on purpose took an Excedrin at 6 pm when my head started hurting again.  Of course that wired me up nicely so I couldn't fall asleep.  Galahad was suffering from stuffy-bubble-head-can't-sleep syndrome.  Another Benadryl for him and some late night reading for me (I highly recommend Bridget Jones Diary), and we both drift off to a well-earned sleep a little after midnight.

About 2 am, there arose such a clatter.  We arose from our bed to see what was the matter.   When, what to our wondering eyes should appear, but one entire side of our closet collapsed in ruins (sorry a rhyme escapes me :p).  The shelves had ripped right out of the wall.  I say Divine Intervention because perhaps it's time to part with some of my clothes. 

I have issues giving away old clothes because I hate shopping so much.  Therefore, to replace any is not just the monetary cost but the emotional cost.  Plus, since I'm on the slender side, it's hard to find small sizes.  Yeah I know, cry me a river.  That's not even factoring in my sentimentality. 

Anyway, I couldn't stop giggling after we cleared the rubble.  We rescued the better clothes so they wouldn't wrinkle too badly and left the rest in a nice heap in the middle of the floor.  Galahad was very cranky. Who wouldn't be when awoken like that (besides a crazy person like me)?  I reminded him that this was almost as funny as the time I flooded our entire first floor with a broken washing machine. 

Hehe, that memory set the giggles off even worse.  We cranked up the stereo then and danced our living room floor dry by putting down tons of towels and soaking the excess water after using the wet-dry vacuum (that we had begged Home Depot to hold for us on the phone as they were closing the store.  They did --- how lovely.)  Of course drying all those towels load after load broke the dryer, too.   ;)   That was another night we got less than my usual 8 hours of sleep.   

Wish me luck later dealing with Father Physics (or Mother Nature) telling me I have too many possessions.  I've already  started the sorting process and have gotten rid of 1 belt, 1 purse, and a pair of shorts.  There's still quite a large pile on the floor to sort, but alas, work beckoned me.

I was on the verge of cutting my CBGB's t-shirt (yes I bought it there and not online) when I got otherwise distracted.  I am hoping to find my resolve again later when I have the time.  What will that accomplish you wonder?  That will make one more half-shirt for me which in turn means one half-shirt I can get rid of.  Crazy like a fox I am.  ;)   and delirious from lack of sleep.

Tuesday, December 16, 2003

Tuesday, December 16, 2003

 Yay!!!  The good news is that both of my biopsies were benign!! 

/rejoice  =)

Monday, December 15, 2003

Monday, December 15, 2003

Let's see....movie review time.  As you may have guessed, it was a stay home and watch movies weekend.  Legally Blonde 2 was cute if you liked the first one.  Bulletproof Monk is good if you like that genre.  And Santa Clause 2 was not as good as the first one.

On an unrelated note, did you know that putting down-filled pillows in the dryer fluffs them up to twice their normal size?

Sunday, December 14, 2003

Sunday, December 14, 2003

Sigh....poor Galahad.  He seems to have had a relapse of that awful flu.  Last night he had a raging fever of 103°F and was delirious.  The delirium snapped me out of a sound sleep at 3:30 am.  Somehow he was flying a fighter jet and was getting strafed.  Hehe, part of me was giggling at that and part of me was so freaked out because he was really far gone.  I went tearing through the house looking for rubbing alcohol.  We switched from that to hydrogen peroxide which is good for cuts but useless for fevers.  I grabbed an ice pack, some more aspirin, and some Benadryl.  Then, I begged him to get better even though I was sure he couldn't hear me, caught as he was in his alternate reality. 

I think he heard me because his fever broke an hour later.  I stayed up the rest of the night reading and watching over him.  He's been a little better today, but the fever came back albeit not as severe.

I'm starting to get paranoid about catching this nasty affliction.  If I had masks and gloves, I think I'd be wearing them.  :p  I've been washing my hands every 15 minutes and washing our sheets every few days.

I forced him to open one of his Xmas presents early.  He loved it!  It's a deluxe, professional-grade ice pack perfect for those high fever days and body ache pains.

Saturday, December 13, 2003

Saturday, December 13, 2003

I called my dermatologist's office yesterday to ask about my biopsy results from the 1st.  I got a friendly but firm voicemail message asking me to leave a message and someone would return my call.  No one returned my call.  :(  It's been 2 full business weeks.  I almost feel safe...except...when I was diagnosed with melanoma it took longer because the first lab sent it up to some hotshot pathologist at Harvard for a second opinion.

Time to take some more glutamine to boost my immunities to compensate for my worrisome, brooding nature over the weekend.  Hmm and maybe a Reese's to boost my spirits?  ;)   Ooooo and perhaps some molasses-baked ribs that Galahad conveniently cut up for me since he knows I'm too spastic to cut them myself without doing serious injury to someone or something (namely his lovely knives).  FFS, I can't even launder pajama pants without fucking something up.  :p

Friday, December 12, 2003

Friday, December 12, 2003

I shrunk Galahad's pajama pants.  :(   After insisting that I had already washed them and they wouldn't shrink.  I had previously washed them, but apparently I hadn't dried them in the dryer.  Who can remember stuff like that?  I tried very hard to keep a straight face when he put them on.  But there were his ankles peeking out saying hi.  My dimples burst out as I was trying to force my mouth into stoicism.  Hehe, good thing he wasn't particularly attached to them.

Why do they only shrink length-wise?  And, why can't they just cut them longer so when they do shrink they still fit?  It's maybe 3 more pennies of material for fuck's sake.

Thursday, December 11, 2003

Thursday, December 11, 2003

I went mini-shopping last night.  Hehe, if I use that term instead it is almost bearable.  I really seem to have a 70 minute time limit though.  No matter where I am or how much fun it is, I get really antsy and ready to leave then.  I was at a bookstore (and we all know how much I adore books), but then suddenly I couldn't finish up fast enough.

So wouldn't you know I ran into someone from my past in the check-out line.  Thankfully it wasn't anyone I dated, but it was still weird and awkward.  Let's catch up 10 years time in 2.5 minutes in full hearing of those around us.  It felt as if we were tallying up our scores in life since the moment we last saw each other.  She admitted to having a hard time with addiction.  What does one say to that?  "Oh sorry to hear that.  I have a fabulous life with the man I love, and I mostly enjoy my job."   That seems wrong.  So I downplayed.  "I'm okay." 

Gone was the vivacious giggling girl I had known and in her place was a serious woman with pain in her eyes.  She gave me her card and asked me to call her for coffee since she doesn't drink.  Is it wrong to point out that caffeine is an addictive substance?  :p   I'm still debating on calling her or not.  How come she doesn't have email like a normal person?  ;)  I'm not ready to be her crutch.  Yeah I know she hasn't asked, but I see the potential and it frightens me.  And what kind of callous person does that make me that I don't want to help someone in need? 

See why I loathe shopping?  All I wanted were a few fucking books, and now I'm soul searching and feeling uncaring.

Tuesday, December 9, 2003

Tuesday, December 9, 2003

Yay!!!  We got our tree last night.  It's absolutely gorgeous and our living room smells wonderful.  Plus we got to watch Jimmy Neutron's Christmas Special.  Laugh, it was so cute.

Monday, December 8, 2003

Monday, December 8, 2003

A friend loaned me Benny and Joon and said it was really funny and a great movie.  I'm starting to question my sense of humor.  Did I get too politically correct over time?  It just didn't feel funny to laugh at a mentally ill person.  The movie had some great comic scenes, but overall, it wasn't a comedy in my eyes. 

Sunday, December 7, 2003

Sunday, December 7, 2003

I wonder if anyone remembers Pearl Harbor day.  I wonder if any Japanese-Americans will get dirty looks.  I wonder if any Japanese-Americans thought back and feel betrayed with what happened afterwards in the camps.  I wonder if anyone believes those camps were exaggerated and didn't really happen.

Saturday, December 6, 2003

Saturday, December 6, 2003

Off to get our tree today!!!  Yay!!!

We drove around to a few different tree places and of course, I freaked out after about 30 minutes and needed to eat.  Double cheeseburger for teh win!!!

So back to Home Depot to get our tree.  We start looking through the selection.  Mmmmm, smells so good.  Some rich folk pick out a 14 foot tree for $159.  Okay, I'm a little envious. :p

They walk off and leave the tree employees to handle it.  Well Galahad watches the two of them struggle for about 30 seconds before he jumps over and holds the rolling cart for them and helps slide the tree onto it.  The tree guy thinks it's amazing that Galahad is so nice.  (Sad to say that it's rare in that section of town where the nouveau riche live).  Anyway, he tips us off that these trees have all been picked through and the next shipment will be in on Monday if we want to wait for a better tree.  No Charlie Brown tree for us today.

Friday, December 5, 2003

Friday, December 5, 2003

Omg, what a fucked up movie that was.  I won't even tell you the name it was so bad.  Foreigners seem to have a different idea of what's humorous.  Suffice it so say that in my humble opinion, a rip-roaring comedy (so quoted on the box) does not entail someone dying at the end after everyone got laid off and are fighting with their spouses.

Thursday, December 4, 2003

Thursday, December 4, 2003

Sushi and a movie!!!  =)

Galahad rented 4 movies!!!  Tonight was Bruce Almighty cuz I wanted an easy laugh.

Wednesday, December 3, 2003

Wednesday, December 3, 2003

I went with a friend to Home Depot to scout out potential Xmas presents for our men folk.  We were such the stereotypical females in that store.  Fortunately, we found a chivalrous employee who took us on a tour of the whole store (was it wrong to wear my low-rider jeans?  ;)), showing us where to find various products and explaining all about them.  At one point, we thought we had stumped him with a question, but he found several other employees with whom he conferred and answered us.  They do not make a GF1 extension cord.  Hehe, it made sense after he explained why.

I almost didn't even go.  I was thinking about calling and canceling.  Sigh, I'm so insecure and sensitive sometimes.  Hehe, that's the nice way of saying vain.  I still have a wound on my face that is healing from Monday's scary visit to the dermatologist.  Fortunately, the one on my face isn't the worrisome one.  That one was on my foot, so I limp nicely now.  Gah, I'm such a fucking wreck sometimes.  :p

Monday, December 1, 2003

Monday, December 1, 2003

Sigh.

I got 2 more spots cut off me this morning and sent away for biopsy.  One is really worrying me.  Yet I know stress is bad for my immune system, so I'm trying to pretend it's nothing.  It looks very similar to the time I had melanoma.  Maybe it's nothing though.  I've been taking glutamine very regularly.  Gah, something has to help.  I'm too immature for serious cancer again.  See?  Who else would joke about it?  =(

/clears mind and repeats "it's nothing but a skin anomaly"