Sunday, November 8, 2015

the snowbirds are back

Traffic on the roadways has thickened with furriners avoiding the cold weather for a weekend or a season.  Ugh.  [Pro-tip: Stay off the roads at rush hour if you don't need to be on them.   And stay out of the left lane of the highway unless you're passing or traveling at greater than 80 mph.]  Reservations are now required days in advance for most restaurants.  It seems way earlier this year.  Or maybe I'm still cranky from the fkn time change.

I went out Saturday night and heard many different languages, which I didn't recognize.  Some were presumably even in English.  G'damn kids today with their stupid syntax and their silly music.  Get off my lawn!  And stop with the cigarettes in crowded public spaces.  Who cares if it's legal or not?  It's fkn impolite.  And you stink.  Same with you, Mr. Pompous-Ass-with-your-cigar.  And, you, Mr. I'm-so-sexy-I-wear-a-full-bottle-of-cologne-when-I-go-out.

Before you think I've turned into Negative Nancy, there were commendable highlights, too.  I saw three adorable elderly women who came up to my shoulder, all decked out and painting the town red.  Way past their bedtime, or at least way past mine.  I saw the potential for loads of crime, and yet no crime, except for crimes of offense, as mentioned above.  [Another Pro-tip: Don't leave your phone sitting on your table in easy reach of people walking by on the street.  You're not in Kansas anymore.] 

Chefs are now competing for street cred and have upped their game.  The food everywhere is exquisitely delicious.  The wait staff are hired for optimal efficiency and smooth manners.  It makes me want to try so many new restaurants.  Until I remember that more than 20 minutes in most people's company makes my teeth itch.  I'd rather be home eating four day old chicken and reading a book.

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