Tuesday, December 27, 2016

not even sure where to begin

I don't want to divulge details that aren't mine, so suffice it to say that my family imploded in the few days before Christmas due to horribly greedy, selfish, narcissistic people.  I know that sounds redundant.  I wish I had the vocabulary to add 75 more words.  For your reading ease, I am leaving out the plethora of swear words that have accompanied all of that.

Fortunately, one of my sisters was in town visiting, so she was able to lend her wisdom and support.  At one point during the weekend, I was almost longing for my personal pain of last year instead of standing by and watching members of my family get hurt.  My brother made a speech before Christmas dinner, which had my eyes leaking a little.  At least some of us were together, weathering the storm, and leaning on each other.

He had also invited some of his Veteran friends.  We had quite a conversation of about guns, wars, and military life.  I loved hearing my dad's old military stories.  And I think it was good for the youngsters to hear how tough old soldiers had it, before modern conveniences. 

The food was delicious and abundant as usual.  I didn't overeat, but I did sample many dishes.  Mostly I had a bite of this and a bite of that.  Obviously, I didn't imbibe.  In fact, I don't think even a drop of alcohol was poured there, although it was offered.

I woke up yesterday with a pounding migraine that numerous doses of meds didn't affect.  My sister brought me the ice-pack and switched it out when it was warm.  And my dad came by to take her to breakfast and then to the airport.  I stayed in bed all day, in a migraine fog, and lost the whole day.  Fortunately, I had the day off.  I have no idea if all the food types did it or more likely, all the drama from the weekend.  We had family conference calls across the country every day. 

Or maybe it was the weather about to change.  Or maybe it was merely Monday and I was due.  :\

Thursday, December 22, 2016

I hung up a wreath

I kept staring at a giant wreath mocking me in the garage.  Three days before Christmas, I did it.  I pulled it out and hung it prominently.  I have lots of other decorations, but those are sitting conveniently in boxes.  Maybe next year...

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

date a girl who reads

I recently learned about this series of articles about which women to date and why.

Why You Should Date A Girl Who Reads

You Should Date An Illiterate Girl

Date A Girl Who Writes

A bunch of stereotypes and tropes if you ask me.  I've had a library card since before age 12.  I don't sniff old books because the mildewy scent can trigger a migraine.  And, no non-dairy creamer for me.  Give me butter!!

Besides the sexist nature of these articles, I appreciated the focus on intellectual pursuits. 

I love to read, but lately I'm having a hard time focusing.  I'm not sure if it's because I picked books which aren't suitable for my mind or if I'm finally succumbing to the millennial disease of too much input / distractions.  I sure hope it's a temporary situation because I miss all my friends (old as well as yet to be discovered) in my books.

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

where have you been?!

Just goofing.  I know I've been Missing In Action.  I'm trying to get more in the holiday spirit this year than last year.  Which isn't as challenging as it sounds, because last year I cried a LOT.  So far, no tears.  Maybe I'm all fixed now???

Maybe not.  I still didn't do holiday decor or cards, but I bought a few small tokens of appreciation for a couple of people.  That's such a silly stressor.  I don't care if someone doesn't get me a present, yet I'm stressing out if/what I should get for people I may see on Christmas.  If my gift or lack thereof upsets someone, I probably don't need them in my life.  And by probably, I mean definitely.  :)

Kitten's stocking is hanging on the mantel, so that's something. 

Friday, December 2, 2016

small sprinkles of joy

I've been on a slow and steady path to good health (I hope), both mental and physical.  Some of my healing has come from helping others cope with their loneliness, their grief, their depression.  There are so many walking wounded out there, holding down jobs and looking functional, until one scratches a little beneath the surface.  Then, BAM.  It all pours out.

Obviously, I'm only one person.  And I can't take too much upon myself because I am fragile as well.  But I hope that each person I reach with truth and caring is able to exponentially help others.  Maybe not today, but when they are on the right part of their healing journey.  As we emerge from our depression cocoons, we share our vitality with those around us, sometimes in the least expected areas.