Saturday, July 9, 2016
gotta catch 'em all
I've been embracing my inner child lately. And my inner nerd. I was talking to some young internet friends about how silly their new game is. I'm not sure what happened, but twenty minutes later, I had Pokémon Go installed on my phone.
And after a full day of server and app crashing, I got sucked right in. Yep, I'm a level 2 badass now.
This reminds me of the time RedBull did a promotional scavenger hunt. I ended up with cases upon cases of disgusting beverages. But I had fun tracking them down all over the city. I even enlisted my friends and family to get more.
So many posts about how to catch a Pokémon next door without looking creepy. I felt like a criminal last night. Slowly driving through dark parking lots. Then reversing and cruising the next aisle to get closer to my virtual target. I kept wondering how I would explain myself to a cop if I was spotted doing that and questioned. This can go wrong in so many ways. One teen already found a dead body while Pokémon hunting.
I suppose it's a great way to encourage kids to get exercise. It probably doesn't work for me since I drove to all of mine. In my defense, I had just exercised for 90 minutes.
I had a full night of shenanigans. Exercise class, then pizza I don't love with fun friends, then Apocalypse planning in the parking lot with aforementioned friends. We also checked out the night sky, trying to see Jupiter behind the moon. I ducked and covered when I saw 5 uniformed men walking our way. They were firefighters, but my instincts were correct. Stay away from the action.
After that, I rushed over to the grocery store before it closed. It was amazing! Lots of parking spaces. Nice empty aisles. No wait at the cashier, until I fucked up the whole chip and sign process. Why is every machine different and tricksy? I apologized to the woman behind me. She was very relaxed and said she didn't mind.
As I was checking my phone (like you do) before driving home, I looked at my Pokémon app and noticed a swirly blue thing nearby. I had no idea what it was, but I clicked it because why not. I got stuff, I think. And it was fun, with sparkles and sound effects. I checked the map again and saw another blue thing across the street. I weighed a quick drive-by against melting groceries and the migraine lurking in the back of my brain. Swirly blue thing won. And that's how addictions are created.
I hit three more swirly blue things on my drive home, and caught a few Pokémon. There was another one so close to my house, but the melting groceries and the pounding migraine won that round. Barely.