Sunday, October 4, 2015

fuck you, Dyson, for making me feel weak

I have an old handheld Dyson vacuum that I use for everything, from cleaning the stairs to chasing down rabid ants.  Lately though, it hasn't been holding a charge.  I bought a new battery to rectify that issue.  I even had one of my electrical engineer friends assist me in the battery selection.  [Yes, I have more than one EE friend.  Because I'm (not so) secretly a nerd.  And I like smart friends.]

The battery arrived, and I was all excited to swap it out and see if that fixed my problem.  Because I like clean stairs and hate ant swarms.  Except I couldn't pull off the old battery.  I pushed and pulled and yanked and tugged.  Nothing.  I experimented with several pairs of pliers.  Nope.  I searched online to see if there's a trick.  Zilch.  Finally, I called Dyson, who has amazing customer service, even if their products are not as good as they used to be.  The woman put me on hold while she got a model to try.  She told me there is no trick, just push the release switch and pull.

One broken nail and a numb thumb later, I conceded defeat.  I brought it with me to my workout class and asked the strongest man there for assistance, hating the fact that I felt like a weak female.  Even though I am.  I started feeling better when he was having difficulties.  He examined it a bit more to see if there was something he was missing.  Then he asked the next strongest man there to grab one end, while he held the other.  They both pulled while the class now was raptly watching and asking wtf was going on.  I had disassembled it and brought in only the handle attached to the battery pack.  There were many guesses as to what the device was.  Finally with a loud POP, it came apart perfectly.  No broken pieces.  I brought it home and easily slid the new battery in and placed it in the charger.

I haven't tested the new battery out yet.  I'm scared after all of that, it won't work.

FUCK YOU, DYSON, for making me feel weak.  Or maybe thank you, Dyson, for giving me a lesson in humility.  Thank you for making me remember that I need people in my life to help me.  Thank you for forcing me to ask for help, when we all know I suck at asking.

How's that for reading waaaay too much into an inconsequential event?

UPDATE: I tested my handheld with the new fully charged battery.  OMG, I'm in love with my Dyson again!