"up his nose"

I like catching up with old friends, but sometimes I hate when I know them well enough that I have to tell them the truth.  I've had a shitty year.  I can't gloss over that like I usually do when people ask how I am.  There's just no good way to say my long-term relationship is over.  Or that my vision is worse after a painful and expensive surgery.  Or that my migraines are better but certainly still debilitating on bad days even with the new clinical trial drugs.

As you might have surmised, I had lunch with an old family friend who I hadn't seen in a year.  There I was getting teary-eyed in the foyer of an upscale restaurant, while we're waiting for our table.  I already didn't fit in well because I was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, and this was the business crowd, all in suits.  The only concessions I was willing to make in attire were to add some jewelry, polish my boots, and leave the lesbian shoes at home.

Once we got my bad news out of the way, I had a great time and gorged on BBQ ribs and kale salad.  He was a lot of fun, so we laughed about various personal and family antics and enjoyed ourselves.  I suppose I can serve as an example to others.  I'm 100% sure he left appreciating his relationship with his wife even more.

While I was face first and elbows deep in BBQ sauce (because fuck those people in their fancy clothes, I want to savor my food), I was remembering a conversation with a friend of mine about lunch meetings.  Or more specifically, the dreaded lunch interview.  He has one today (I'm sure you did well!), and I was trying to make him feel better with lunch interview horror stories.

I told him my humiliating tale, so I might as well tell the world.  It was pretty funny, although I was mortified at the time.  I went to take a sip of water from my straw and completely misjudged my proprioception.  You guessed it, straw up the nose, which reminded me of that old Cheech & Chong skit, "doctor, everything, it goes up his nose".  I tried to laugh it off at the time, but it took a lot of fortitude not to start crying right then.  Perhaps it made me memorable as my friend said, because I did get the job  ;)