Wednesday, September 2, 2015

say hello to my little friend

Guess who showed up after my eye surgery?  Yep, my old pal, migraine.  That fkr just has to insert himself into every situation.  The eye pain was negligible next to a migraine.  Yay?

Today, I had the bandages removed from my eye.  I scared myself and literally swore aloud when I saw it.  The nurse showed my chauffeur friend first, who had a great poker face.  She seemed a bit taken aback when "Holy Shit!" tumbled out of my mouth as she finally let me look in the mirror.  I was all proud of myself that "Holy Fuck!" didn't spill out.  See?  I still have some class, even under high stress.  :)

It's not my pretty green eye anymore.  It's all swollen and red and looks like I got punched by a prize fighter.  And my vision is exactly what one might expect after reading that description.  The doc said I have a 75% chance of regaining visual acuity.  I'm 95% certain he made up that statistic, too.  Apparently this is more of an art than a science, because every question I asked was met with a variation of "It depends."  I'm fairly certain the surgeon forgot the bionic circuitry.  That fkr.

Before you think I'm overreacting, there was a woman in the waiting room who gave me a quadruple-take.  Or maybe more, but I lost count.  She kept glancing up at me like she couldn't tear her gaze from my hideously enraged eye.  She didn't even try for subtlety, obviously, since I saw her with my defective vision.

I'm not allowed to pick up Kitten (she's certainly more than 10 pounds of pure muscle), clean the pool, or do anything strenuous for at least a week.  Most other activities are permitted, so you lucky bastards can still follow along in my misery.  I would have been even MORE miserable if computer activity or reading were limited.

Mr. Migraine showed his happy face again today.  I popped an Imitrex in the car on the way home from the doc.  (Remind me to replace the stash in my purse.)  I was sleeping off the migraine nicely until the surgery center called and woke me to see how I was doing.

I'm no longer a cranky Cyclops.  Now, I'm just hiding out my irritable, ghastly self, shying away from mirrors, and then going back to stare in revulsion, just like the lady in the waiting room.

A friend promised me a tasty dinner tonight, so I have that to look forward to.  It's the little things that keep me smiling. 

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