Friday, September 4, 2015
it's 4am, do you know where your wendy is?
Sigh. Wide awake again. I really need to re-train my brain to cease and desist with this nonsense. Any suggestions how?
I think my insomniac friends and alternate timezone friends are getting tired of hearing from me. Every. Single. Night. Last night I listened to audio books and snuggled with Kitten instead of bothering anyone. Somehow, the middle of the night feels the loneliest.
Tonight, I'm not in the mood for my book. And Kitten got her snuggles in earlier at 9pm. I think she had a kitty-graine from the thunderstorm. She kept pushing the front of her head against my hand like I do when my head hurts. And whimpering, like I do. For those keeping score, I had another migraine, too.
Just lying here trying not to get pulled into a black hole of melancholia. I thought maybe writing about it might help my logical side realize that my life is pretty good, all things considered.
[Apparently, I need to re-train Kitten, too, because she came up at 4:30am for more snuggles. :) ]
I'm telling myself not to cry, and it's almost working. Out of the 9,000 questions I asked the various medical staff, that wasn't one of them. Wtf? Have I ever met myself? How did I miss that question? What if my tears short out my bionic gadgetry? That would make me cry even more.
I sincerely hope none of you ever has to go through this eye surgery. However, there's one cool aspect -- looking through the air bubble in my eye. It's kind of like my own built-in level. Or like looking through the very top of an aquarium, where the water is a teensy bit convex. And watching it bounce when I blink. The nurse said blinking would help my eye muscles recover faster, so that's a win-win. Plus, there's a red line I can see when I look in the mirror (using my other eye) that looks like the red line on a scale at the grocery store, which goes across my dilated pupil. It's all fascinating science-y stuff, if this weren't my fkn eye.
When I asked the doctor if I could sleep in any position yet, he asked which one I slept in. Who sleeps in just one? I have a king-size bed, and I'm not afraid to use it. I'm all over the place. He told me anything except flat on my back, which sucks for Kitten because that's her favorite snuggling position.
Thanks for all of the well wishes from emails, texts, phone calls, IMs, etc. It means quite a bit to me. I'm assuming the people I haven't heard from are using telepathy. Thanks to you as well.