Tuesday, September 15, 2015

do you ever get lonely?

and you want to reach out to someone, but you can't?  And then you tell yourself a hundred reasons why you don't really want to anyway.  Why that person isn't the one you're in the mood to talk to.  Why this one isn't either.  It's like an itch that can be scratched.  Or more like an ache that can't be soothed.  Or a trauma that can't be healed.

[Maybe I need to be disillusioned to push past my false beliefs.  Isn't the first stage of wisdom letting go, either voluntarily or forcefully?  So that I can grow back stronger.  And more sagacious.

I will derive power from my wounds.  I will learn from life's bad deals.  Alas, I think I'm a slow learner.]

You start to really delve into your head and begin the mindfuck.  But then your cat comes over and you feel better?  Yeah, me too.

Always remember, depression lies.


Randy Culp said...
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Randy Culp said...

I guess one can go by what the Canadian author, Coupland, said, “The time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself.” I am not sure I agree. I don’t have a cat instead I have my Nikon and a laptop and the people I meet on my travels. Currently, I am in the Philly area dodging cheese steaks and Eagles. Nice post, however. I am days behind your posts but anxious about learning more about your recovering sight.