crunchy spiders get their sexy back

Doesn't he look like a proud samurai warrior?  He's usually known as the spinybacked orbweaver.  I also call them the crunchy spiders because my brother and I used to feed them to his turtle as kids, and they made a pleasant crunching noise when being eaten.

They're as ubiquitous as palm trees here.  My yard is littered with them.  I typically only knock away the webs that obstruct my path.  Maybe these fkrs saved me from the Chupacabra-esque, papaya-sucking, flying zombie stalkers.  They must be getting lots to eat as there seem to be hundreds of them.  I try to thank them, as I walk along, for keeping my yard relatively bug-free, although I did get a few mosquito bites when I was out watching the lunar eclipse last week.  So they're kind of slacking.  Even if they technically aren't supposed to eat mosquitoes, they could still try harder.

I'm feeling refreshed after 6 hours of sleep, which appears to have alleviated yesterday's migraine for now.  I had what I thought were regular dreams, but when I looked them up, they seemed awfully personal.  Who knew bananas indicated sexy times?  I wonder if this merits a random text to Einstein, my Food Scientist Expert.  How would that imaginary conversation play out?

Wendy: "Are bananas inherently sexual?"
Einstein: "Um, what?"
Wendy: "You're my food scientist, and bananas are still a food, right?"
Einstein: "Yes?"
Wendy: "Maybe I need to stop consulting you about food if you're unsure of that fact."
Einstein: "Did you really wake me up to ask me this?"
Wendy: "Someone was stealing my banana trees, but the samurai spiders slowed them down."
Einstein: "You don't have any banana trees.  And I'm pretty sure the samurai spiders don't leave Japan."
Wendy: "Okay, thanks, go back to sleep."

And that's how crunchy spiders got their sexy back.  They became warriors and started guarding 'bananas'.