Tuesday, March 29, 2016

better living through pharmaceuticals

The below pictorial describes my year, with improvement because of the migraine clinical trial.  It was a Leap Year, so perhaps I could subtract one day.  Plain and simple math, showing how much it sucks to be me.  And that's just one of my problems.  No wonder I'm fkn depressed.

Does this make me damaged goods?  So damaged that no one would ever accept me, as is?  I don't want to be frail and have to be accommodated for.  I want to be stubborn and pretend I'm normal.  But here it is, in glorious color, showing I am so far from normal.  Is there a way to position this as a positive? 

/sticks tongue out of the corner of my mouth and thinks hard

I have a Lamborghini brain, which requires Lamborghini maintenance and Lamborghini fuel.   That sounded more positive, right?  There's got to be a niche market somewhere for that.  Who doesn't like a beat-up, broken, antique Lamborghini?

1 comment:

Randy Culp said...

Normal? Who among us is normal to consider what is normal? Here is the way Randy sees it. You can’t live this life without some kind of damage, mental or physical. Would I trade the experiences in my life that has changed my view of a perfect world as a child….no. Do I think the disabilities I have and the people I cross my life make me or them any less of a person….no. You made me think, as you often do. Who have been the most interesting people, in my life, the people I like to be with? They are the people whose lives have not been easy; the people who have experienced life beyond the white picket fence.

I am sorry for those who have no idea what depression feels like. I am sorry for those who have no idea the helplessness that a person has when they have something physical change in their body that cannot be reversed. I am sorry for those who have no idea what it is like to feel the life of a friend slip away why embracing them in your arms. I use to feel they were lucky but lately I decided they were nothing but a puzzle missing many pieces.

Normal? I don’t want to be normal if being normal is missing all this. I’ll deal with pain.