Monday, January 4, 2016

no one is promised tomorrow

I decided to grow the fuck up and stop crying about poor me.  I have resumed my familial role of peacekeeper and counselor.  Because why not?  They do love me, even if they don't do it exactly how I want.  My first act of reaching out to one of my siblings seemed normal.  In fact, it kind of reminded me of the time I ran away from home for several hours when I was 6, and no one noticed.  Man, that was disheartening.  I don't think anyone noticed my taking a break from the family for a few weeks either.  Maybe that's for the best, so I don't have to explain why and make anyone feel bad.

No one is promised tomorrow.  I'll try to stop taking that for granted and not waste today over my hurt feelings and pride.

I had quite a scare at 2am.  I blissfully fell asleep around 9 pm and slept almost five whole hours.  And then I checked my phone and saw missed calls and voicemails.  My phone goes on Do Not Disturb automatically every night because sleep is so precious to me.  My elderly neighbor was taken to the hospital with chest pains.  How the fuck did I sleep through all of that racket of the ambulance and everything?  Her number is programmed to go through my Do Not Disturb, but not the people who called me.  Yes, that has been rectified.

I immediately tried her cell phone, but it went to voicemail.  And I'm fairly certain she doesn't know how to check that, so I didn't leave a message.  I delayed calling the hospital until 7 am.  Partly because if she had managed to get checked in and had fallen asleep, I didn't want to wake her.  And partly because of fkn Schrodinger and his poor fkn cat.  For those of you unfamiliar, it basically means that all outcomes are possible until you know for sure.  To me, this meant she was fine until I knew one way or another.  Except I had nightmares the rest of the night when I tried to fall back asleep.

I called the hospital at 7 am and held back the snap in my voice when the woman answering the phone said she had no record of my neighbor.  I spelled her last name for the third time (it's not that tricksy) and asked her to verify.  Again.  Thankfully, she found her then.  I briefly spoke with her, but she doesn't know much until she sees her doctor later.

Make the most of your day, even if Mondays suck.

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