If I didn't have a smidge of social anxiety and had been better coiffed to appear in public, I might have talked to you about this. Although, knowing me, I probably would have apologized for distressing you. It was most likely better for all involved (including the trash can) that I stayed inside and held my tongue.
Look, I get it. I've been having a shitty time lately, too. Maybe I'd feel better if I bashed down a few garbage cans with my car. But, if we all did that, anarchy might erupt. And precipitate the imminent (so I hear) zombie apocalypse. And then I'd be faced with a harsh choice because who the fuck wants to survive an apocalypse? I can barely survive with so many modern day conveniences.
I guess that's a perk (perq, if we're being proper) of being a mailman. You get to mow down stationary objects with zero liability. I wonder if they list that on their job postings under benefits.
- running over trashcans with impunity
“Neither rain, sleet, snow, hail, nor gloom of night stay these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.”