Tuesday, May 27, 2003

I'm feeling much better today and even got brave enough to make my dermatology appointment.  Omg, I'm scared.  I have a new spot on my face.  I don't want any more scars, especially on my face.  I'm pretty sure it's nothing serious, but I don't want to stall when it's on my face.  I'll get the spot on my ankle looked at, too, when I'm there.  That has changed appearance lately and seems to be going away.  Yay!!  Maybe if I wait 3 more months, the one on my face will magically disappear also. 

I hate panicking myself about these spots.  Stress can only make me worse.  Plus, I really feel silly getting so upset about what is mostly a vanity issue.  However, in the back of mind is the thought that some day the melanoma may return.  I caught it incredibly fast last time, but I am constantly reading how many women my age die from it.

I find myself fumbling on a sliver of a tightrope.  Lack of sun makes me sad, and too much sun may in fact kill me.  Yeah, I know, get over myself and my trivial problems.  Many people out there have real problems not just made up ones in their head.