Monday, May 26, 2003

Monday, May 26, 2003

Rain again on & off.  I finished my other book and am almost done with the next one I'd started.  I've been kind of restless & moody all day.  On the way to have dinner with Galahad's parents, I started crying.  He was driving, and I turned my head to the side so he wouldn't notice.  I just let the tears roll quietly down my face.  I gave myself a pep talk the whole way, interspersed with trying to figure out why I'm so sad.  I think I'm just crazy.  :(  I had brief thoughts of my mom and new skin cancers, but really I had no valid reason to be crying.  I tried to force myself to think funny thoughts.  I managed to pull myself together a half mile away.  I pretended to check my makeup in the mirror and nonchalantly wiped the traces of tears away.  My nose was a little bit pink, but I was hoping that would fade soon.

I put on my happy face and greeted his parents.  His dad started in with the fucking skinny comments -- a lot of them, 4 in a row.  I almost told him to go fuck himself.  I decided to be the bigger person and let it go.  I don't mind him teasing me with one, but 4 was pushing it.  Somehow, I managed to turn my mood around and enjoy myself.  I know his parents love me and mean well.  And, his dad stopped being an ass towards me.  :)

When we got home, I secluded myself back in the library with my book trying not to inflict my mood on Galahad.  I was mostly better anyway, but I still wanted to be alone.

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