serious injury, Charlie Babbitt

Have you ever gotten a peanut butter injury?   Because the jar was almost empty and you were too lazy to get up and get the spatula but there was still some delicious peanut butter left at the bottom of the jar?  So you reached your finger in just at the edges?  And licked sweet ambrosia of the gods off one finger?  But then you had a hankering for more scrumptiousness, so you thought maybe you could reach in a bit farther?  And that still wasn't enough to satiate your fix?  So you shoved your whole hand in because skinny hands come in useful at these times?  And as you were greedily getting every last drop of divine peanut butter, the fkn stupid edge of the godforsaken plastic jar cut your hand?

Yeah, me neither.