Sunday, August 31, 2003

We siesta'ed in our lovely backyard, enjoying the cool breezes blowing in from the approaching storm.  I got brave and asked our friend about his marriage and why it ended.  We talked a lot about partners and finding the right one and how do you know.  I'm a Disney kind of girl, so I believe there is "the one" for everyone.  But how do you know?  And what if there isn't?  Is it wrong to settle for someone close?  Is it better to combat loneliness with someone you're pretty sure won't make the cut or forge on alone with a pet and a string of meaningless affairs?

Out of 6 billion people, what if your "one" doesn't speak your language?  How did I get so lucky to have found mine in my twenties?  What if I'm self-delusional and he isn't my one?  Could we both be delusional?  And if so, would that work anyway?

Maybe you get a chance at your one at certain stages of your life.  So if I had fucked up this relationship with Galahad (which I almost did by the way but that's another story), maybe I would have met someone else who would have been my new "one" in my 30's.  I wouldn't be the woman I am today had I not been involved with and influenced by him.  Therefore, I might be compatible with someone else entirely.  Dunno.  These are the things that plague my thoughts lately.