it's not failure if it moves you forward

Or at least that's what I tell myself.  

I got lectured by my neurologist today about my anemia.  He went for the full-on scare tactics.  "Your heart could stop, and you could just drop dead, young lady."  Asshole.  Glad I rarely have to see him and can mainly interact with the nurses.  Three years of monthly visits and that's the second time we've spoken.  

I know it's serious, you fucker, but making me cry isn't the way to work with me.  I'm doing my best.  Of course, he didn't want to hear about my history or what I've tried so far.  Arrogant know-it-all mofo.  Plus I really hate doctors, so I will not be seeing a specialist.  I know more about nutrition than my neurologist did obviously, going by his advice.  

I cried most of the hour drive home, in-between swearing at him and making Italian road gestures.  Asshole.  Listening to Adele probably didn't help much either.

The nightmares aren't completely gone.  But my mood was great, until my doctor's visit.  My head has been great the last few days.  I'll take it. Here's hoping my monthly injection doesn't fuck me up.