Back to the office again today. So much driving
lately for me. I went out to lunch with the local sales force, and
they made fun of the techie geeks we deal with. Wtf? Do they not
see me sitting right there? Maybe it was a back-ass-wards compliment
that they don't see me as geeky. Fucking sales people.
:(
I'm still struggling with the
concepts of acceptance vs. denial. I can only think this through a
little bit at a time so I don't cry too much at once and fuck up my head
with a migraine. I don't understand the difference between saying
there is nothing I can do to change something so I won't think about it AND
saying I won't think about it cuz it hurts. They both feel like denial
to me. I guess the distinction is in how much thought is given.
Perhaps I dwell overly much? Hahaha, who me? Maybe I have the
wrong definition of acceptance. Maybe I think acceptance should just
feel better. I envision acceptance as a mental
satori.
There I go with my high expectations again. I need to learn how to
lower them. I hate when I am disappointed because I expected better of
someone or something. Laugh, this may be the first time I've been
disappointed by a concept. =p
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