If I question my path to enlightenment, does that mean I'm
further away than I think? Do enlightened people have self-doubt?
Do they shed tears? Ever? It seems like one step upwards on that
journey and then a tumble downhill to ensure my humility. Last night a
wave of sadness hit me (and the obligatory tidal wave of tears). While
I could name many things which sadden me, none of those seemed to be the
cause.
As easily as I could list those sad factors in my life, it would be
simpler by far to double that list with my joys & gifts. So why the
sadness? To give me perspective? To value my blessings more?
Or for no fucking apparent reason other than life is random?
Heavy thoughts for a Monday morning. Sunday nights make me sad no
matter how good Sex & the City is. I think it's reminiscent of my
childhood where Sunday nights meant an all-nighter finishing the homework
that I neglected to do over the weekend. Sadistic bastards give
homework over weekends. Fuckers! I'm still traumatized by
it and barely realize it. Haha, and I thought I might be anywhere near
the path of enlightenment. Blaming my childhood teachers for my
current angst. I should be ashamed.
:p
Happy Monday to you! =)
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