Friday, June 10, 2016

loyalty is dead, too

Fuck you, ISP.  I fell for your bait and switch.  Again.  Shame on you, and I got fooled again (old Bush reference for you youngins).  I had no internets for 3 hours yesterday.  To 'upgrade' my service, which I didn't even want.  Mine was fast enough, to be frank.  I wanted a reasonable bill.  In order to lower my bill, I had to sign up for faster.  WTF?  How is that even a thing?

Tech dude calls first (very nice of him) and asks if he can cut off my internet real quick.  Real quick, he says.  I randomly checked in with him every hour or so, in between bouts of cold sweats, and he gives me the bad news that my area isn't even eligible for the faster speed.  So now, he had to reverse everything and switch me back.  Sigh.  Three hours for a big fat FUCK YOU, LOYAL CUSTOMER.

I wake up this morning to a friendly email welcoming me to my new (same) service but with an even HIGHER cost than previously.  WHAT THE FKN FUCK!

I tried calling customer service but found that I couldn't speak coherently without yelling and swearing.  Heavily accented lady put me on indefinite hold, waiting for a supervisor.  I made an executive decision that my time is worth more than that for their fuckup.  I called the ISP Executive Offices.  Like I said, this wasn't my first rodeo.  I've been bait and switched before by them.

That woman was super professional and calmed me the fuck down.  I explained my situation and my anger and hurt feelings.  I also explained that isn't a good way to run a business by pissing off customers and technicians selling promises they can't keep.  Tech dude said this was a common theme.  I hope I didn't get him in trouble, but most likely he'll appreciate my escalation, as I've been where he is and can't yell like a customer for fear of losing my employment.  I'm sure he didn't want to spend three hours yesterday spinning his wheels and pissing me off, outside in a goddamn thunderstorm, no less.

Calm, professional executive will look into this and get back to me.  She also placed a hold on my bill, so I don't have to pay until it's resolved.  I told her a payment was on the way.  I don't begrudge them some money, just not all of it for mediocre service.

Why is everyone so godforsaken greedy?  It angers the peasants, and we will revolt someday.  Did you need to squeeze more money out of me every month to make an even bigger profit?  Did you have to sell me something I didn't even want to try to lure me in?  Just give me a fair price for what I want.  Why is that such a complicated concept?  I'm very loyal once you don't fuck me.  Of course, ISPs know they have all kinds of monopolies, so my choices are slim to none.

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