Thursday, November 20, 2003

Since dinner was up to me last night, I of course ran right out to Boston Market and "cooked" a lovely meal with sides and cornbread.  =)  I also picked up movies from Blockbuster for our viewing pleasure.  Lara Croft for teh win!1!!!

Somewhere toward the end of the movie, I realized my head was hurting badly enough that I was wearing a hole in my right eyebrow futilely rubbing the pain away.  I took an Imitrex pill (dumbass that I am I should have gone for the shot).  By the time I realized this was one bad mutha', it was too late to do the shot.  The pill takes 2 hours to give some relief.  At about the 70 minute mark, I completely lost my mind and had a breakdown.  Poor Galahad had to stop being sick for a while and tend to me. 

Despondence had reached its long spiny fingers down into my heart and started squeezing.  I felt like all the progress I thought I had made was gone -- leaving me stuck in the same helpless position I was in 20 years ago.   I knew I shouldn't start crying since that hurts worse, but the tears poured out.  The illusion of being functional had shattered, and I felt like such a burden on this planet.  I was almost desperate enough to try the Botox Migraine Treatment.  Hehe, but then Galahad made Botox faces at me and made me giggle.  He reassured me I wasn't a burden to him.  He got me ice for my head which I crushed down with a fury.  I was holding it so hard against my head that I popped the Special Ice Pack (Gah, I hope it wasn't toxic!) and it leaked all down my shoulder.  I'll have to remember to buy him a new one for Christmas. 

So here it is Thursday morning and I am proven right yet again to be a Little Weather Predictor.  Couldn't I just get psychic flashes instead of migraines?  Couldn't the Cold Front (yeah I know 60°F isn't cold for most of you but it was 80°F yesterday) have just rung our doorbell instead of intruding into my Inner Pain?  =(