Saturday, September 24, 2016

stretch yoga

Whatever that is?

My 70+ year old neighbor felt sorry for me with all of my migraines and suggested I try a stretch yoga class with her.  I had no idea what it was, but she's too nice to say no to.  Plus, it sounded benign.

It turned out to be mostly older women, and was taught by two earth-mother types.  Or maybe lesbians.  It's very hard to tell them apart at that age.  Before the class, one asked about my limitations, so I told her I wasn't very flexible.  It's called a stretch yoga class, so I assumed there would be lots of stretching, and I can't always touch my toes.  I blame my long legs.  Let's forget for now that I have equally long arms.  :)

The class was held at one woman's home, and her dog greeted me first.  After he had jumped up on me and sniffed my crotch for a few minutes, she asked if I was okay with dogs, because if not, she could make him stop.  Haha, little late now, but I like dogs, so I wasn't upset.

We all went to lie down on yoga mats on her hardwood floor.  What's the point of a yoga mat?  It feels just as hard as the floor.  No cushioning at all.  And if it's for hygiene, that ship has sailed once I start using someone else's.  Maybe it's for gription during regular yoga, but we didn't stand at all.

The very first stretch was lying on our backs with our knees to our chest.  I'm used to my martial arts class where someone puts almost their whole weight on me to stretch until it is close to my pain tolerance.  This was like a butterfly pushing on me.  Granted I had just met her, so maybe she was testing my limits to see how I was.  She said I was very flexible, and I must have been comparing myself to highly flexible people.  At that point, I realized I wouldn't be getting stretched by my understanding, so I should just lie back and relax.

While I was lying on my back and stretching my arms above my head, her doggie came over and started licking my face.  That gave me the giggles and ruined my meditative state.  Not that I was very far into one.  I followed along, stretched my hips, and played with her dog, holding his mouth away from mine.

It was more about relaxation than actual stretching for me.  They kept saying it shouldn't hurt, but I've always learned that if I don't stretch until it hurts, I don't make any progress.  I lost a little bit of the relaxation when I was face-down on the mat, trying not to think of whose feet had been there before my face.  It's a good thing I'm not a germaphobe.

It was nice, and they were all very warmhearted people, but I don't think it's for me.

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