Friday, September 16, 2016

emotional weather patterns

It still amazes me after decades of dealing with this, that my mood can change so drastically from feeling good to migraine depression and irritability, and back again once the migraine lifts.  It's like a storm front blowing through, and serene weather afterwards.  Some storms are sun showers.  Some are Cat 5 hurricanes.  Most fall in the middle.

It's been a particularly horrible Summer for me (16 migraines this past month).  Logically, I know these emotions originate from my brain misfiring or whatever the fuck is going on in there when a migraine tsunami starts.  However, I irrationally think I can control it better.

Somehow, I've gotten out of the habit of daily writing.  Mostly because I've been lacking any kind of meaningful social life (due to migraines) and felt I had nothing worthwhile to say.  It turns out I'm dumb because regular writing can (and sometimes did) elevate my mood.  I'm pretty sure barely anyone reads this anyway, so I will proceed to write about inane and/or depressing things.

Because I want to be better.

(I apologize in advance for boring you to tears.)

We rise to great heights via a winding staircase
  ---Francis Bacon

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