Thursday, September 8, 2005

Yay!!!  I didn't cry!!  Until I got into my car and drove to the pharmacy.  Her new practice is really nice --- marble floors, suede and wood chairs that look like nice dining room furniture and not waiting room furniture at all.  I didn't like the receptionist though.  She's 12 and called everyone sweetie.  Ugh!  It was mostly older women again looking for the Fountain of Youth.  FFS, I want to have the courage to grow old gracefully.  Haha, and not cry at every little setback like this one.  I wonder if these women were idealistic about growing old when they were my age.

Anyway, she was genuinely happy to see me and know that I tracked her down.  She looked at the spot on my chest and confirmed what I knew.  I was terrified that she was going to remove it right then or at least biopsy it.  Instead, she told me about a new cancer cream called Aldara that helps the body create interferon.  She warned me that the treatment was ugly, lengthy, and painful, but that it would heal nicely.  I'm all for minimal scarring, so I agreed.  While I was there, she gave me the once over and I pointed out a few more spots I had that were tiny and iffy.  She also confirmed one that I knew was a problem on my nose but had been in denial over.  It's really small like pinhole-sized, but it's been an issue for over a year.  Also, the one she removed on my forehead 4 years or so back never quite healed perfectly.  She cringed and told me to use the Aldara on my nose and some other cream on my forehead.  She apologized profusely on how it was gonna suck. 

I left with 2 prescriptions and a follow-up appointment in 4 weeks.

I started crying in my car when the reality hit me that I was gonna be bloody and ugly for a minimum of 4 weeks.  I drove to the pharmacy and dropped off my prescriptions.  They didn't carry either cream, so I will have to go back tomorrow.