validation proclamation

Why do I still feel the need to be validated in my migraines?  I've been attending (virtually) the Migraine World Summit, and it's bringing tears to my eyes in almost every talk.  Healthcare professionals understand what I'm going through.

Each day there are different guest speakers being interviewed, and there is something for everyone.  Most are highly technical and really explore the chemical reactions that happen in our bodies.  All have compassion for their patients and are quick not to blame us for this neurological disorder.

I like that so many are honest in expressing their missing knowledge.  Not to say that they aren't educated, but that there are many unknowns in the field.  What works well for one person can have the opposite effect in another.  Or even in that original person at a different time.  And no one is blaming that person for fucking up something.  Yes, I've been on the other end of that many times. 

"You probably didn't take the medication right, that's why it didn't work."

"Are you sure you drank enough water?"

"Maybe you aren't sleeping as well as you thought."

"Is your stress under control?"

"How dare you eat (insert common food here) when you have migraines?" 

This last one is a doozy because experts have concluded that foods aren't necessarily triggering migraines, but they might be part of the prodromal craving associated with an impending migraine attack.  Whether or not I ate that bite of cheese had nothing to do with that migraine.

The bottom line is that treatment needs to be personalized for everyone and probably will change at different times in our lives.  Did I become a high maintenance woman because of my high maintenance brain?  Or is it fitting that a high maintenance person would have a high maintenance disorder?

Why not both?