silk is a lie

I've been hearing for years about how silk pillowcases are the best thing ever for curly hair.  It was something that I'd hoped someone would gift to me because it felt extravagant to buy for myself.

After many years of hints going unheeded, I decided to gift one to myself at the end of the holiday season.  I even put it on my annual goals so I wouldn't flake out later. 

I was super excited to use it!

And then I woke up to awful hair.  To be fair, the humidity had increased so perhaps that made my hair worse.  I've now used it for almost a week and haven't noticed anything beneficial.  I don't know if I bought the wrong brand or what, but I did a brief amount of research before picking one.  It was 19 momme 100% mulberry silk blah blah blah supposed to be great.

Oh well, I still feel pampered when I see it on my bed.

stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about

I'm an emotional person who cries easily, and I've accepted that about myself.  Sometimes I cry because my brain chemistry is out of whack due to a migraine episode.  Sometimes I cry because my tender feelings are bruised. 

I had been crying on and off during December because the holidays can be painful for me as a single woman.  (Through talking to friends, I'm pretty sure it's also painful for a single anybody.)

My dad used to tell me when I was a child to stop crying, or he'd give me something to cry about.  I was a quick learner and decided it was better to cry softly in private and not get beat, rather than keep crying in front of him.  I had forgotten that lesson though.  And he totally gave me something to cry about last month.  SPOILER ALERT: He's mostly fine now.

He was admitted to the ER a week before Christmas with serious health problems.  Here's another spoiler alert, I've buried all kinds of hatchets, machetes, and tomahawks about my childhood upbringing.  It was awful, but my parents did the best they could with what they had.  That is my way of saying I love and like him now and want the best for him, even though I didn't like his parenting style much. 

Fortunately, I am not working (who thought I'd ever utter that phrase), and I could spend lots of time at the hospital with him.  I sat by his bedside and got him what he needed.  I asked questions of the nurses and doctors (who were excellent).  I sent tons of important and also whimsical texts and photos to my siblings keeping them apprised of his status.  I had one sister on speakerphone when the first doctor came in to give me some hard to hear test results.  She asked way more intelligent questions than I did because I was half in shock.  I texted family when they could call him and when he was delirious on meds and probably shouldn't call.  My local brother came to visit every night after work, and sometimes during the day if he had an hour free.

I picked up another sister from the airport that my dad had promised to do.  Before all of this, she'd planned a quick holiday trip.  She stayed with me and helped deal with some of the minutiae.  Also, it was nice to have fun for an hour with her and see the beach.

The stress and fear of almost losing him hit all of us differently.  I couldn't stop crying once I got the news that he was out of imminent danger of dying.  Others reacted with anger because fear is scary by its very nature.  Therefore, we had lots of family squabbles and hurt feelings.  I was not immune to this either, and I am ashamed to admit I yelled at my sisters independently of each other for silly things.

On the day before Christmas Eve, Pop was moved out of ICU.  On Christmas Eve, he was recovered enough to move to a rehabilitation facility.  By Christmas Day, he was getting antsy enough to want to leave, so I spoke with the director to speed that along.

He's back in his own home now and making great strides at being back to normal healthy.  His doctors and nurses were all amazed at how fast he recovered, considering how bad he was.

I had a few migraines during that time, but luckily no horrible ones until afterwards.

During all of this nonsense, I also got to meet my newest family member, my second grandnibling.  She is so stinking cute!!  And so is her older brother, who graciously shared with her a previous present I had given him (an adorable Yoda onesie).

I love and appreciate my family, as fucked up as we all are.  :)