Monday, December 19, 2005

Yeah, I know it's been forever since I've written.  Let's see.... what's up with me?

Still have migraines?  Check

Bright RED anime-colored hair?  Check  ;)  (Thanks, Pablo!)

Still treating skin cancer?  Check

My friend is still battling cancer all over her body.  I took her out to lunch and then Christmas tree shopping last weekend.  I had to push her around in a wheelchair.  :(  She was so chipper while she was getting dressed and putting on her wig (she lost all of her hair as expected).  I asked her how she managed to stay so positive, and she replied that she looked at me and said the same thing.  I was momentarily stunned & speechless.  How does one compare lifelong migraines to life-threatening cancer?   I have the security and knowledge that these won't kill me until I sink into an abyss of despair and do it myself.  She doesn't have that security, although I guess we never know when we'll die.  As Mr. Morrison said, "No one gets out of here alive."

Also, please keep my brother in your thoughts.  He has open heart surgery scheduled for tomorrow.  Fortunately, I was able to call and speak with him yesterday in the hospital.   :)  He sounded in great spirits (heh better than me at any rate).  I also gave him the pep talk of we never know when a car will hit us so don't worry too much about the 1% chance you won't make it.  Easier said than done, I know.  I tried to keep him in a positive mood since that is the most important factor of survivability in my opinion (haha, who else's opinion did you expect to get here?).  And, I taught him my trademarked phrase, Pity Party.  He liked that one.  :p  I told him it's okay to throw one for yourself sometimes, but then you need to remind yourself of all the good things you have in life.

P.S.  The cable is still lying jury-rigged in my backyard with no fix in sight.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

OMG YAY!!!!

I have TV again!!!  It's been 30 days.  Two different cable people came out to my house today and both seemed surprised when I told them the big cable had been snapped in the hurricane.  FFS at Comcast!  They are horrible.  This is after 3 other people had been here, surveying it.  The first one today fixed mine but wasn't able to fix the big one, meaning my neighbors still don't have cable.  :(  The second man was an asshole (although I'd probably be cranky too, working long hours for so long  --- hmmm turns out I am).  I explained yet again what was going on with the cable.  Instead of saying he didn't have the tools like the first one, he said "I'm not gonna dig anything!" in a cranky-man-voice.  I cautioned him about the tree and it still being fragile.  Then, he was like fine, I won't fix anything.  I smiled and thanked him for his excellent customer service.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

I visited my friend today.  She's had two chemo sessions and didn't look too hot.  I had a horrible migraine, but I felt that paled in comparison to what she's going through and wanted to keep her company.

When I came home, I gulped down Imitrex and went to bed. 

Friday, November 18, 2005

I might be a dirty tree-hugging hippie (except that I washed my hair today).

I'm sitting here crying watching a crew dismember my Queen Palm.  I was told that the crown is broken, and it will never recover.  I don't believe it since it just sent up two new fronds, but the top of the tree is listing badly.  I made them wait while I called my brother to ask him.  He said if it were his, he would leave it ... until I explained that it was four feet from my house.  Twenty feet of majestic palm-ness gone.  :(

I feel sick, and my house looks ugly now.  :((
 

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Today was my rescheduled follow-up visit to my dermatologist (previous one was missed because of the hurricane).  I already knew what she was going to say, but I went anyway.  She told me to start the Aldara again.  That spot on my chest looks smaller than before so I'm hopeful that I can beat it with just the cream.  I showed her another spot, and she advised me to use the Aldara on that, too.  Then, she asked about a different spot that looked suspicious to her, but I was fairly certain it wasn't new.  If it is, then I need to get it cut off as it could possibly be melanoma.  Sigh.  And, for the kicker, she cut one off of my face.  Cry.  I'm sure going to have a lot of character someday.  :(

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Here comes my next tree debacle.  Apparently my neighbor is massively coveting Irenic, my red latania palm.  She came over and asked if I knew how it got where it was.  WTF?  I said yeah, we planted it.  It's in an area of my yard that I affectionately refer to as Death Row --- so named because it's our backline and we couldn't keep anything alive there for a while.  This palm has flourished thankfully and looks gorgeous.  Apparently she and another neighbor were ready to jack it if it was a stray.  Again, WTF?  She tells me how expensive it is and keeps looking at me like I'm an idiot for planting it in the back.  WTF?  Can't I put nice looking trees in the back? 

My brother advised us to buy it a few years back at a local palm & cycad show.  It was obviously much smaller, and it wasn't that expensive (definitely less than Bertram was), but I kept that fact to myself.  As I'm surveying Death Row with her and letting her know that all of those trees are planted and therefore off-limits, I noticed that someone had run over my little Gumbo Limbo again with heavy equipment. ^&$^#%$#&^*!!!!  I don't think he'll recover this time.  :(

Wednesday, November 9, 2005

We had an old-fashioned barn-raising event last Sunday.  Except, we raised the mango tree instead of a barn.  Two friends from class are plant people, so we had expert advice and help.  Everyone from class showed up and pitched in.  I was very touched.  I called to invite my friend who is battling cancer now.  She used to attend class with me, and everyone always asks about her.   She didn't sound very good and said she couldn't drive anymore.  I immediately told her I would pick her up as soon as she got ready.  So, I missed the actual tree-raising, but it was for a worthwhile cause.  She was so happy to see everyone, and they her.  :) 

Please keep her in your thoughts as her cancer has spread extensively throughout her body and spine.

If you're keeping tabs on Manfred (the mango tree), we had to lop about 15-20 feet off of him to raise him up.  They used two come-along winches and anchored them to other trees, which fortunately didn't rip out of the ground.  It turns out he's a heavy sucker.

Monday, November 7, 2005

I meant to write sooner, but somehow I didn't have power when I had free time and then no free time when I had power.  As you might have heard on the news, a fairly powerful hurricane hit the southern half of Florida hard, with 98% of my county losing power.  I feel very fortunate as the storm moved quickly, starting as a category 3 (111-130 mph winds) and leaving as a category 2 (96-100 mph winds).  I'm sure you're wondering why that's fortunate.  To give you background, Wilma hovered over Mexico as a category 4 (131-155 mph) for over a full day.  I felt the winds for only a few hours and enjoyed them while they hit.  Okay, so I'm crazy, but everyone should be lucky enough to experience a hurricane.

I would make a hurricane ride at Disney World and vary the intensity each day so you wouldn't know ahead of time what category it would be.  People would keep coming back to feel them all. 

I went out in the storm with swim goggles on to protect my eyes from the driving winds.  I watched as my trees got buffeted about, pieces tearing off and flying by.  I saw my 30 foot mango tree stumble, lose it's balance and topple over.  I saw & heard roof tiles smashing about.  One of the most amazing sights was whitecaps in the canal behind my house.  It's usually smooth as glass.  The absolutely most incredible sight were the birds flying in the storm.  There weren't many who braved it.  Maybe they were the crazy fkrs like me who enjoyed the intensity & sheer powerful majesty of nature.

The eye of the storm hit the west coast of Florida at 6:30 AM and quickly was over me at about 9am.  There was quite a beautiful (if sad) light display of transformers blowing up in the morning (I lost power at 7ish) --- blue lights flashing over the horizon.  By 1 PM, most of the hurricane force winds had passed and it turned into a gorgeous day, with the temperature dropping into the high 60s with bright azure skies.  As I walked through my neighborhood, I couldn't believe how many downed trees there were.  Most of the giants who had survived last year's double whammy of Hurricanes Frances & Jeanne had fallen.  Lots of birds were sitting on the ground in these fallen masters looking cold & bedraggled.

More later...

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Yes I know it's been forever since I last wrote.  My fkn hard drive died.  Again.  And it was 62 days since I had it replaced so the store warranty was up.  They needed to ship it the manufacturer to get a new one, etc.  By some miracle, they were able to copy my data over to the new one.  At first, I thought they hadn't even replaced it.   I was so happy to see all of my data, but then the errors started.  I called the store back, and they said to use the XP CD to fix it.  Except.  I now have SP2 installed and my CD doesn't.  FFS Microsoft make your shit backwards compatible!  So, I had to drive back to the store in rush hour traffic, in pre-hurricane rains to get a CD that would work.  That fixed the network issue, but I'm still seeing various other issues in software (only Microsoft somehow).

Enough about my computer woes.  On to more important woes.  I'm so sad this morning.  Last night as I was brushing my teeth before bed, I discovered a baby gecko in the bathroom.  There have been a rash of them lately so it wasn't all that unusual except that it was upstairs this time.  I put down my toothbrush and mucked around a bit trying to catch him without hurting him.  Then I snuck downstairs & outside in inappropriate attire to let him loose.  All is well in the world, and I can sleep in peace.

Except.  When I wake up this morning, there he is looking even more dehydrated back inside my front door.  I easily catch him as he has no energy and bring him outside.  I brought him to a little puddle, but he doesn't seem to drink (although he's so tiny it's hard to see).  I took a leaf and soaked it in water and draped it over his body, laying him close to the puddle.  I went out to check him a bit later and he was dead.  =(  I never know what to do with those cute little fkrs.  I feel like I'm sending them into shock by catching them, but I know they'll starve and/or dehydrate.  I wonder how the babies always know to find water in the bathroom.

Oh yeah, there's also a hurricane bearing down on me and a migraine wreaking havoc with my spirit.

Poor little gecko.  =(

Friday, October 7, 2005

Small rant follows:

I've been searching the side effects of the cream I'm using now, and here's what they have to say on 2 different websites:

Drugs other than those listed here may also interact with this. Talk to your doctor and pharmacist before taking or using any other prescription or over-the-counter medicines, including vitamins, minerals, and herbal products.

Now, if they can't be bothered to list these other ones, how is my doctor supposed to memorize exactly what will interact and how?  Should I mention that I'm on 500 mg of magnesium and a bazillion CoQ10?  FFS, they must have a list somewhere if it's that important.

Thursday, October 6, 2005

My dermatologist told me to discontinue my magic cream and start on cortisone to take away the inflammation.  Then she popped a doozy on me and said I may need to repeat this cycle.  I guess I should have assumed, and I'm sure I'll appreciate this in 2 years when I don't have a scar to show for it, but I'm almost ready to say cut this fkr out.  Sigh. 

I've been mostly keeping myself at home, in hiding, but yesterday I needed to go see my chiropractor.  I tried using makeup over the one on my nose.  That didn't work well.  First question when he saw me, "Wtf happened to you?"  Also, I'm running out of essentials --- like hair products.  Maybe this will heal enough that makeup will cover it soon. 

Thursday, September 29, 2005

My hairdresser has forsaken me.  :(  She canceled my appointment a week or so ago because of an alleged foot injury that she just realized she had.  Wtf?  Then when I tried to call to reschedule, she isn't returning any of my calls.  At this point it doesn't even matter, I'm as hideous as the crypt keeper, so why bother with pretty hair. 

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Yesterday, I went out back to ground myself in nature and cheer myself up.  First I stopped at my gorgeous purple orchids that are blooming.   Mmmm, they smell incredible!  Then, I went to say hi to Bertram and see if he dropped any limes.  He didn't, but while I was greeting my green friends, a fkn fire ant stealthed up on me (there were no visible mounds) and wtfbit my big toe.  Thanks Mother Nature.  Kick me when I'm down.

So now I have a basis of reference for comparison.  This atrocity on my chest absolutely itches like a 1000 fiery suns more than a fire ant bite.  Hmmm, what shall I focus on today?  The crick in my neck, the migraine bubbling below the surface (thank you Imitrex!), the Napalm on my chest, or the fire ant bite on my big toe?

I rescued not one but two baby geckos last night in my living room, so perhaps that scored me some karma points with Nature.  Omg, they are the cutest little moppets!  I'm not sure how they got inside, but they would have slowly dehydrated and starved to death if I left them.  I sure did want to keep one though.  :)

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

I'm a few weeks into my treatment and looking & feeling like a leper.  Omg, it itches so badly!  I want to claw my flesh off.  Luckily (she said facetiously) I have a raging migraine to take my mind off of the itching.  I'm debating going to class tonight.  I don't want to be this vain, but it turns out I might be.  I've already had to explain to several people I work with that I'm too hideous to meet with customers in person currently.  Yeah, that was an enjoyable conversation.

If life doesn't get any better than this, I might be done.

Monday, September 12, 2005

Tonight is my second treatment of Cancer Cream.  I'm scared.  I don't want to wake up bloody tomorrow.  Dunno yet if I'll be vain enough to skip exercise class for a month, but I might.  Maybe it won't be too bad yet.  :(  Deep breaths, calming thoughts.

Oh yeah, and my head fkn hurts.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Since I'm still almost presentable in public, I accepted when I was invited to canoe the Everglades.  I love me some Everglades!  =)  My Sensei has a gazillion people visiting from Germany somehow, so there was a big party of us going, including 2 students who are testing for their black belts.  That's dedication --- flying transatlantic to test for that.

This would be my opportunity to go and NOT have to paddle.  Yay!!  I sat in the middle between Galahad and Uli and quickly learned the German word for spider.  Crikey!  We had tons of them.  /shudder  We drove up to Jupiter and canoed the Loxahatchee River, which I later learned (thank you Google) means river of turtles.  We saw only one gator but tons of turtles as we canoed through this gorgeous Cypress Swamp.  It was completely different from what I expected but so amazing.  It was also much longer than I expected, lasting 6 hours plus 2 hours driving time.  I was exhausted and I paddled maybe only 10 minutes or so.  Yes, I wore a hat and slathered on sunscreen (even though I think it's poisonous).  We stopped at Trapper Nelson's for our picnic lunch, and I chatted up the Park Ranger there.  Holy shit, she lives out there full time.  It must be so incredible and so scary at the same time.  Plus, I'd go bonkers without the Internet.

All of that nature gave me a mind-shattering migraine.  I think I might have been allergic to the vegetation or maybe it was just too much heat for too long.  It turns out I might be sensitive.  :p

Two Imitrex and off to sleep with an ice-pack on my head.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

The silver lining in all of this (yeah yeah besides I'm not gonna die) is that I had to cancel my upcoming work trips since it wouldn't do to show up in front of a customer and look hideous.  It was not fun, however, to explain the situation to people I work with who were expecting me to fly up.  They were sympathetic, but surprisingly I'm pretty private at work.

I picked up my meds from the pharmacy yesterday, and the pharmacist wished me luck with everything.  Naively, I assumed he meant the cancer.  After researching these meds online, it turns out they are used for a variety of disgusting and embarrassing skin afflictions.  I wonder what he thinks I have.

I used them last night for the first time, and my chest is itching like crazy today.  Fortunately it hasn't started to bleed yet.  Yet.  :(

I'm supposed to use it 3 times a week cuz it's that strong, and yes cuz I'm sensitive.  I'm glad everyone recognizes that fact.  =)

I put an aloe (fresh from the backyard) and turmeric poultice on for now.  I'll switch to antibiotic cream & bandages when it starts bleeding, I guess.

Thursday, September 8, 2005

Yay!!!  I didn't cry!!  Until I got into my car and drove to the pharmacy.  Her new practice is really nice --- marble floors, suede and wood chairs that look like nice dining room furniture and not waiting room furniture at all.  I didn't like the receptionist though.  She's 12 and called everyone sweetie.  Ugh!  It was mostly older women again looking for the Fountain of Youth.  FFS, I want to have the courage to grow old gracefully.  Haha, and not cry at every little setback like this one.  I wonder if these women were idealistic about growing old when they were my age.

Anyway, she was genuinely happy to see me and know that I tracked her down.  She looked at the spot on my chest and confirmed what I knew.  I was terrified that she was going to remove it right then or at least biopsy it.  Instead, she told me about a new cancer cream called Aldara that helps the body create interferon.  She warned me that the treatment was ugly, lengthy, and painful, but that it would heal nicely.  I'm all for minimal scarring, so I agreed.  While I was there, she gave me the once over and I pointed out a few more spots I had that were tiny and iffy.  She also confirmed one that I knew was a problem on my nose but had been in denial over.  It's really small like pinhole-sized, but it's been an issue for over a year.  Also, the one she removed on my forehead 4 years or so back never quite healed perfectly.  She cringed and told me to use the Aldara on my nose and some other cream on my forehead.  She apologized profusely on how it was gonna suck. 

I left with 2 prescriptions and a follow-up appointment in 4 weeks.

I started crying in my car when the reality hit me that I was gonna be bloody and ugly for a minimum of 4 weeks.  I drove to the pharmacy and dropped off my prescriptions.  They didn't carry either cream, so I will have to go back tomorrow.

Tuesday, September 6, 2005

It seems my dermatologist left the practice she was in, and I need to track her down.  I guess it's been a while since I've been to see her.  I was trying so hard to "cure" myself from the inside out, but I won't fuck around with this spot.  It's not iffy --- it's real and about half the size of a dime.  Dunno how I missed it before.

FFS at people not telling me where her new practice is.  And, thank you Google for making it easier to find her.   Hallelujah!  She takes my insurance, and I have an appointment in 2 days.  Yikes, I'm scared.  I didn't expect one so soon.

What if she turned more towards cosmetic surgery and less towards medical dermatology?  Last time I went to see her, so many people in the office were getting Botox and collagen treatments.  Welcome to South Florida, land of the vain.  Depending on the day, it was either vain women (okay we all are to some degree) or old people with skin cancer.  Deep breaths.  Trying not to fret.

Thursday, September 1, 2005

I'm so saddened and sickened by what Mother Nature has wrought upon the Gulf Coast --- and saddened and sickened by what man has done to fellow man.  We're all just 5 meals away from anarchy & chaos.  (I'm more like 2 meals away.) 

I'm sure you've gotten your fill of Katrina horror and blame, so I won't bore you with either.  Let's talk about my fears.  I found a new cancerous spot today on my chest -- kind of near my collarbone.   I'm sure that's what it is, so I'll call my doctor as soon as I get back into town tomorrow.  =(

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Both of my brothers lost power for 1 - 2 days, and the part of Miami in which I grew up received 18 inches of rain.  We got only 5 inches by comparison and feel as if we escaped another close call.

I'm watching this storm strengthen over the warm waters of the Gulf of Mexico and know that wherever it goes, hell will follow.  Some are predicting the Florida panhandle yet again, where they're still recovering from Hurricanes Ivan & Dennis.  Others are saying this will be the one that takes out New Orleans.  They're comparing it to Camille, one of the worst storms ever.  It's as powerful as Andrew was but it looks bigger.

Friday, August 26, 2005

At the last minute it deflected south (all hail the lucky Goat Milk!) and hit Miami.  I escaped relatively unscathed although I lost power on & off about 8 times, never for more than 20 minutes or so though. 

Thursday, August 25, 2005

My friend is having her surgery today in NYC, and we are preparing for a hurricane to hit us.  It's supposed to be only a minimal one (which still sucks), but it's aiming right for us.  A good friend of mine said that he wonders why meteorologists waste millions of dollars on equipment, when they could just hire me.  I've had a migraine that won't go away since Sunday.  I knew this was going to be a bad storm since before it strengthened.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Today is the 13th anniversary of Hurricane Andrew hitting Miami.  I spent the day working with my manager and monitoring the Weather Channel as there is a home-brewed storm forming off the coast of Florida.  It's predicted that Tropical Storm Katrina will strengthen to a hurricane and hit us by Friday, maybe even a direct hit to where I live.  Is this the year my luck runs out?

Thursday, August 18, 2005

This morning my friend is at Sloan Kettering getting their opinion on her stage 4 cancer and how treatable it may be.  I see why people pray now.  It's something to do in the face of the chaos of the universe.

Since I don't pray per se, I'll just go score some universe karma points by rescuing another baby lizard from the pool.  Those little suckers sure are cute!  I love baby lizard season.  =)

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

My sister called me to let me know about some freak-ass study with red contact lenses and how they magically cure migraines.  I don't really believe it, but ...  I can't really afford the luxury of not trying it.  It's seems non-invasive (besides sticking my fingers in my eyes while under the grasp of an angry migraine), so I'm more willing to try this than say, anti-seizure medication with just one or two known side effects.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

FFS, what a few weeks I've had.  Yeah, I know ... whine some more please.  :p  My home PC died 2 weeks ago when I drove over to the library to pick up Harry Potter.  I came home 10 minutes later to a black screen --- not an encouraging sign.  Of course, out of all the PCs in my house, this was the best one.  I tried switching out the video card.  Nada.  I tried all kinds of diagnostics. which basically just said "Hi you're fucked!".  The next day, I called the place that built this but they were closed on Saturday.  I got brave & desperate and went to CompUSA to buy a new hard drive.  $200 & 300 GB later, I still was fucked.  I finally disconnected everything after hours of fiddling and called it quits.  On Monday, I took my PC with the new HD to the original place.  They said my HD was full of bad sectors.  They also sold me a cheaper (and smaller) one than CompUSA, added more memory, fans, and got me set up.  When I asked if they could slave my broken HD into it to see if I could retrieve any files, I was told it wouldn't boot with it hooked up.  Wow!

I hate hardware issues.  I'm so challenged.   :\

So by mid-week, I had my PC back and needed to reinstall everything and try to recover what data I could.  Fortunately, this is published on the web, so I could copy and paste it.  I lost some data, but I look at it as a housecleaning.

One day later, I had my HD replaced in my work laptop and went through the whole stressful process again.  Of course this time I had warning so everything was backed up to the minute, but it still sucks.  Also, my email wouldn't synchronize properly so I had to call my Help Desk and troubleshoot that for 2 days until I got fed up and started raising my voice.  Grrr, it was a simple fix finally that they said was a known problem.  HINT:  If you have a known problem, try that first.  Sigh.

So basically I've been mucking around reinstalling software & tweaking my settings for weeks now.  I'm almost comfortable again, and I have pretty new backgrounds.  =)

Sunday, July 31, 2005

I had a difficult time putting this in writing until now.  It's still hard but not impossible anymore.  I hate life's path sometimes.  I found out 2 weeks ago that one of my closest friends has stage 4 cancer in her kidney, her lungs, and her bones.  As if that isn't bad enough, she's a breast cancer survivor of about 7 years.   She & I went through our cancer scares at about the same time back then although I always felt hers was much more serious.  Mine was just minor surgery and a visit to an oncologist with some psychological baggage thrown in.  Hers was chemo & the whole shebang.  [For the curious, I'm a melanoma (and basal cell and squamous cell) survivor.  Sounds inconsequential, huh?]

Not to make this about me (when has that ever stopped me before), but it terrifies me that all this time, she was so healthy and out of nowhere, BAM!  It gets me thinking that could happen to me, too.  How do I know that the pain in my leg is truly from sciatica and not from bone cancer?  She kept going to a chiropractor to get adjusted on my advice because I swore that it can work wonders on pain management when one's body is in alignment.  Anyway, please pray for her or wish her well or whatever it is that your spiritual beliefs would dictate. 

I can't stop crying lately, so I broke out the box of chocolate tonight and decided to write.  One or the other should help my state of mind I hope.   This may be a long entry, so please get comfy.  =)

I was away last weekend at my niece's wedding.  She decided to have it in Utah, ffs!  Yeah that should have been a fun trip, except I had this weighing on my mind plus it was a record heat wave.  It's absolutely gorgeous out there, but it was mostly too hot to explore.  It was very nice to see my family again, but a few didn't come --- some out of hard feelings or scheduling conflicts and ffs, Utah is far away and expensive to get to.  Besides all of that, it was organized mostly by her & her husband (sounds so weird to say that :p).  They're free-spirits and that's the way they organized it.  [Btw, he's a fabulous young man, and I couldn't be happier for them. :)]  There wasn't a lot of communication about the weekend, and most of us ended up staying at scattered hotels.  The one that had the group rate was one of the most expensive hotels there, so most of us opted for our own choices.  Also, I wasn't invited to the rehearsal dinner, so it was kind of awkward when my other brother asked if I was going.  I wasn't in the wedding, so I figured that was the standard.  Fuck if I know about wedding etiquette.  Long story short, my brother bumps into my sister-in-law at the grocery store that afternoon, and she tells him there is no rehearsal dinner but rather an informal cocktail get-together in the mother of the groom's suite (with no A/C in record heat), and we're all invited.  So we all adjusted our frame of minds and went to mingle.  I chowed down on mini-pizza appetizers and got reacquainted with my family and met some of his.  Some were Mormons.  Do you know how hard it was for me to watch my language for that long?!

At that party, we get directions on how to get to tomorrow's wedding and reception.  We also find out that we're riding a ski lift up the mountain to the ceremony.  FFS, it was the first time I had planned to wear a skirt and high heels in years --- probably since my father's wedding.  :p  Good going, Wendy!  /rolls eyes   Anyway, my niece assures me it will stop so I can get off.  I'm starting to panic and trying not to make this about me.  Haha, good luck, right? ;)  My very first ski lift trip was earlier that day when a freak storm came out of nowhere with wind gusts of 75 mph.  Holy shit, and I'm dangling my little feet down like a doggie treat for the trees.  (I found out later that a man died during that storm while kite-surfing in a nearby lake.  He got tea-bagged across the lake and then across the land.  :()  I also fought my vertigo and general fear of doing stuff that defies Mother Nature's laws of gravitivity & polarity.  (Quick, what movie is that last bit from?)

A bunch of us decide to go out to dinner after this since it's late and most weren't as piggy as I was with the mini-pizzas.   Of course since it wasn't planned, we now have to find a place to accommodate 10 of us, including three little kids who are hungry & cranky.  Fortunately, there are a ton of restaurants nearby.  At dinner, a few other people voice fears & hesitation about the big ski lift adventure.  I finally told myself to grow up and do it and tried to reassure my family members.  I would have hated them to miss the ceremony.

The big day arrives, and I decide to take my shoes off since I have skinny feet and they would have fallen off anyway.  Plus, it didn't seem wise to step off on 4 inch heels.  In hindsight, I was brilliant.  =)  It turns out the lift didn't stop, and by the time I'm yelling at those fuckers to stop it and I realize they aren't, I'm a goodly distance back in the air again.  Yeah, I had to jump down.  In my fucking skirt.  In front of a park full of tourists waiting to ride the bobsled thingie down.  Well, fuck the Mormons and all the religious people there with delicate sensibilities.  I basically screamed HOLY FUCK at the top of my lungs in place of Geronimo and hit the pavement.  Fortunately nothing much was bruised except my pride and my confidence.  I just about started bawling like a baby.  How fkn embarrassing.  :(  So here I am, crying in front of tourists in shorts, trying to hide from the other wedding guests, put my heels back on, and wipe the mascara off my face.  I took a few minutes to breathe again, pushed my shoulders back, and tried to walk confidently on a gdam fkn woodchip path.  The whole time, I am giving myself a lecture of omg, don't be such a baby, and wtf didn't you wear your jeans and Asolos?   Now wasn't such a great time to go with convention. 

I was relieved to see my father's wife had made it up there with her arthritic knee.  They fkn stopped for her.  I also happily noted that my brother, his wife, and their twins (who were starring as the flower girls --- cutest ones ever!) made it safely.  They were very nervous about riding that with their little girls.  The lift also stopped for them.  FKN GDAM LIARS that they don't stop the lift.  It's okay.  I'm not bitter.  :p  Also, the groom's wheelchair-bound uncle made it there as well.  I felt bad watching him have to forfeit some independence to make it across the woodchip path.  A few strong men helped him there and back.

The ceremony was gorgeous, and my niece was stunning.  I am so delighted for the two of them.  =)
 
Okay, that's enough for tonight and I ran out of chocolate.  :(  Thanks for listening and please, please keep my friend in your thoughts.

Thursday, July 7, 2005

Sorry Everybody  

SORRYEVERYBODY.COM -- How Can We Make It Up To You?

Thursday, June 30, 2005

My feet are orange.   Why you may ask?  The man-who-paints-the-orange-cable-lines-before-trees-are-murdered was here this morning.  I was so distraught at seeing him again (yes he remembers me), that I paced back & forth (coincidentally in the same spot he sprayed) until unbeknownst to him, all of the orange was gone.
 
Hold on, Bertram, I'm trying to save you!  Poor thing is gonna need therapy soon.  Okay, so maybe I already do.  Yes I know it's just a tree, but it's more than that.  Bertram symbolizes the injustice of Government (of the people, for the people) performing bureaucratic bullshit. 

I hate to get all Chicken Little here, but we are in a state of decline.  Rarely do people take accountability for their actions anymore.  The Supreme Court ruled it constitutional that local governments can decide that my land would be better used as a fkn strip mall and can take it from me.  I see why our founding fathers had the wisdom to draft the 2nd amendment.  As much as guns scare the shit out of me, I'm glad that we have the right to rise up against a tyrannical government.
 
Here's a funny regarding the eminent domain issue.

Saturday, June 25, 2005

I woke up and did my saliva test.  Then, I was off to eat and get some much needed pool/sun time.  I've been missing the sun like the deserts miss the rain.  (bonus points if you can name that band!) 

However, my sun time got usurped by a dragonfly in peril.  His right wing was stuck together --- spent nearly an hour trying to dissolve whatever residue was on it.  I think he died from shock and/or exhaustion after the whole ordeal was over.  It was very sad.  At least he died in loving hands.  I laid him to rest on a fallen orchid flower.

Friday, June 24, 2005

My dad sent me some Chinese herbal pills to try.  Yeah, I'm that desperate.  I'll start tomorrow after I do my hormone test.  Yeah, I'm that desperate. 

Thursday. June 23, 2005

Sooo sleepy lately.  The rain is never-ending.  I think I must have been a plant in a past life cuz I need sunshine.  However, I'm torn because the rain keeps the tree-killers away.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Bertram is still standing although I always feel compelled to say "Dead Man Walking" when I'm standing near him.  :(
 
Our mango tree is fruiting nicely now, so I'm out there 2 times a day saving the fruit from pesky critters.
 
Some people nearby cited the Geneva Convention saying you can't destroy a food source during a time of war.  The judge threw that out and took their tree.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

The man is back to mark where the cable is around Bertram.  Poor lil' fellow.  I gave him one of my mean looks (wasn't intentional, I'm just upset).  Heh, he said...oh yeah, I remember you.  Fkrs!   All of them.  :(

Monday, June 13, 2005

Interesting essay.  It made me a lil' teary-eyed thinking back on how awful my teenage years were for me.  I would never live through that again, even for a million dollars.

Friday, June 10, 2005

I had my meridians measured today to see what was out of whack and what I could take to fix it.  I walked away with the names of several homeopathic tinctures to try.  I'm not sure I'll try them, especially after that fkn GelStat didn't work (yeah I took all 4 doses as directed).  However, one day I'll get desperate and at least I'll have an avenue upon which to travel.

Wednesday, June 8, 2005

It was only a matter of time before I got my own bracelet, too.  And, it's pretty purple.  How apropos!  

I'm a sucker and bought the GelStat last night to try on my next migraine.  I'm debating on the bracelet thingie.  Part of me feels like it lessens the impact of the cancer ones, but then part of me thinks cancer usually ends at a certain point.  I've been fighting for my sanity against this pain for over 30 years.  Yet, I'm not really a jewelry person.  And, that's advertising a weakness almost.  But, it is purple.  Hehe, I might be indecisive.

Tuesday, June 7, 2005

Happy Birthday, M!

P.S.  I went outside this morning and said my goodbyes to Bertram.  Poor little guy.  :(  I thought about taking one of his baby limes and planting a Bertram, Jr.   But then I started thinking ...  what if I became Typhoid Wendy?  What if he is a carrier of Citrus Canker?  The Asplundh trucks just drove by.  :(

/whimper

First they came for the communists, and I did not speak out - because I was not a communist;
Then they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out - because I was not a socialist;
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out - because I was not a trade unionist;
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out - because I was not a Jew;
Then they came for me - and there was no one left to speak out for me.
    
       Martin Niemöller - 1946

Monday, June 6, 2005

Goddamn fkn Big Citrus Lobbies!  They came for Bertram today.  He's my lil' lime tree --- the first tree we planted here in 1998.  I put up a valiant fight, but it's only a matter of moments before his life is over.  Sacrifice for the greater good, my ass.  It's been 10 years since they found citrus canker in south Florida, so this method isn't looking so wonderful.  I cried, I yelled, I called 5 different agencies. 

They have a warrant for Bertram, so there's nothing that can be done.  Apparently, they think he's been compromised. 

They interrupted me before I ate breakfast, so they bore the brunt of my hunger, too.  And now my migraine is back, and I think law enforcement has been called to escort them to Bertram.  One of the guys on the phone asked me in an incredulous tone if I was crying.  I was sure he was going to quip back.... "there's no crying in Agriculture."  Haha, I would have if I hadn't been shaking so hard.  Gdam fkrs!

The rain just started.  Mother Nature is crying with me.  Yes, I know Bertram is just a tree, but I might have sentimental attachment.  Fkn bullies.  Tree murderers.

Did I mention the Commissioner is named Charles Bronson?  FFS at everyone!
 
To add insult to injury, they're going to compensate me with a Wal-Mart voucher.  Have I mentioned lately how evil I think Wal-Mart is?

Sunday, June 5, 2005

I can't believe how bad this was.  I got up to 7 or 8 Imitrex in a few days, but today I've kept it at bay with Excedrin.

Thursday, June 2, 2005

HOLY SHIT!  Worst migraine all year.  :( 

Sunday, May 29, 2005

It was so cold with freezing rain on my trip.  And, a nor'easter came in and gave me a big fat migraine for my trip home.  That sucked.  The weather here wasn't much better until today.  I got to sleep in the pool for a bit.  That felt yummy.  :)

Sunday, May 22, 2005

I have to go out of town again this week.  Fortunately, my head is doing okay.  Yesterday, I went to see my chiropractor to get some preventative maintenance.  Then it was off to see Star Wars!  I liked it except for one part that irked my girl-o-meter.  There was a scene (by the way, this isn't a spoiler) where Padame was having a serious talk with Anakin, and she was brushing her hair at the time.  Every girl with curly hair knows you can't brush it, so she was just kind of faking it.  FFS, that was so ridiculous, and I can't believe no one spoke up to tell Mr. Lucas that he lost realism points there.  :p

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Free Psychic Astrology Online Psychic Astrology - Jan Spiller
My Basic Nature
Fire: 4
Earth: 3
Air: 3
Water: 2
I think she got my water signs too low.  :p
Spontaneous Orientation
Cardinal: 5
Fixed: 4
Mutable: 3
My Instinctive Desires
Life Houses: 3
Material Houses: 0
Relationships: 4
Psychic Houses: 3
Where I am Learning and Growing
Planets in Quadrant #1: 0
Planets in Quadrant #2: 3
Planets in Quadrant #3: 2
Planets in Quadrant #4: 5

Sunday, May 8, 2005

Happy Mother's Day.  This holiday has lost the weirdness for me finally, but I'm glad I have Galahad's mom to celebrate with.  However, there's a downside coming...
 
Be prepared for my Prodigious Pity Party.
 
I think I'm finally ready to talk about this.   Galahad's father was diagnosed with Alzheimer's last year, which in a horrible flash of coincidence is what my mom died from.  So, I've been trying to cope with my feelings whilst being supportive of him, etc.  Turns out I'm not so good at these feelings.  It's a horrible thing to watch someone you love and respect regress and degrade.  I try to save my tears for when I get home, but it hurts so bad.

Saturday, May 7, 2005

Woe is me.  I had to drive down to Miami a few days ago for business, and I'm still recovering.  When the fuck did I get to be so delicate?  First, I was supposed to be there at 9 am.  FFS, that's early considering it's rush hour and I live so far away.  I sat in traffic for almost two hours!  TWO FKN HOURS!  How do some people do that every day?  Six lanes and all going about 10 mph at best, with the carpool lane maybe getting up to 15 mph.   Fkn sheeple.  I would quit my job and work at the local grocery store rather than do that every day.
 
So I get down to my customer there, after calling them to say I'd be late.  Nice first impression.  Anyway, they start making fun of Miami, too, calling it Little Cuba.  I'm not a gambling person, but I'd bet pretty heavily that at least one of them was Latin.  I guess he's from a different South American nation and resents the Cubans taking over.  At least he speaks the fkn language.

There isn't really anything funny or interesting for the rest of the day except lunch, so I'll spare you the boredom.  The short story of lunch is that there wasn't anything decent close by, so an out of town colleague and I went exploring.  Did I mention I hate driving in Miami?  We finally found a decent restaurant, and there was nowhere to park.  #%#%@!!!  So we kept driving and ended up here, where we had a very nice lunch in a ridiculously LOUD restaurant and then got caught in a downpour running back to the covered parking.  /rolls eyes

Two hours later, we made it back to the customer, and finished up around 6 PM.  One of the men there gave me so-called better directions to get home faster.  Sigh.  A woman walking in high-heels passed me while I was driving.  I wish I were kidding.
 
Anyway, I ended up with a killer migraine.  What a surprise.  And I didn't want to medicate while driving.  Excedrin didn't cut it that day, so I took Imitrex and went to bed.

Tuesday, May 3, 2005

Patrick Combs, One-man show, Solo show performer, One man show  

You have to read this --- so fkn funny!

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

If you ever get depressed about your own problems, and want to be voyeuristic about other people's problems, click here: group hug // anonymous online confessions  

Ha, who am I kidding?  Of course you're voyeuristic.  You wouldn't read blogs if you weren't.  :p  Careful.  This site is addictive, and in the end, you'll get even more depressed over how fucked up some people are.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

I've been told this is the phone number outside of the Mann Chinese Theater where all of the Star Wars geeks are camping out.  Feel free to call and then email me what happens: 1-323-462-9609

Saturday, April 16, 2005

I just slept for over 12 hours, and then went out in the sun to sleep a bit more.  My head still hurts and it's getting me down.  That hopeless feeling of desperation is lurking just beneath the surface -- that the pain will never end.  There is no cure.  It's only downhill from here.  I'm trying to keep it at bay...  or at least to sleep through it.

Friday, April 15, 2005

Finally, it's time to come home (after a half day of class).  Yay!!   Everyone was warning us about how bad the airport would be, so we left extra early.  Turns out there wasn't any traffic on the way there or at security.  So, I sat at my gate for almost 2 hours before my flight.  Well, sitting might be an overstatement.  Apparently, I can fit underneath the arms on the benches, so I stretched out and closed my eyes for a bit.  I didn't want to sleep cuz I was paranoid someone might steal my bags.  Yeah, I know, I'm a freak.
 
My first flight I ended up sitting next to an MIT geek and a merchant marine geekette.  They were way too geeky for my tastes.  The two of them never shut up the whole flight even though they had just met.  Thank goodness I had my book.  :)
 
And if I thought the first flight was bad...  The flight home from DC was full of a class field-trip of teenagers.  I was smack dab in the middle of them, 5 rows ahead & 5 behind.  They were actually well-behaved for teens, but still kind of annoying in my mood.  The kid behind me started singing 100 bottles of beer on the wall.  I was just doped up enough to join in, but too shy.  Mostly they all just giggled & passed notes.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Another semi-sleepless night and another full day of training.  Nothing remarkable. 

Then, dinner at a little hole in the wall Chinese noodle place.  It was sooooo good.   As I tried to fall asleep, my head just got worse & worse.  I took more Imitrex and drifted into a drugged slumber.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Morning came way too early after a sleepless night.  I was very pleased that I wasn't forced to have a roommate.  Whoever thought that is a good idea for adults is a moron, and a cheap one at that.  I dressed warmly in my layers and went down to dine on some Jimmy Dean, scrambled eggs, and oatmeal.  So much for my alkaline diet.  :p  At that point, I was just happy to eat.  As I went back up to my room to brush my teeth, I started wondering if perhaps I wasn't dressed too warmly for an indoor day.  And, because I'm a warm weather person, my lowest layer wasn't one that I could wear independently and try to appear professional.  I decided to go for it, since I'd rather be hot than cold.
 
I was so glad I chose that way.  I was freezing in the training room, especially after I burned through some of those Jimmy Dean calories.  I guess the hotel just likes to keep it feeling like summertime. 
 
Training went well, and then it was time for dinner.  Yay!!  A few of us went to Legal Seafood, and I made the mistake of ordering the Thai coconut curry dish with scallops.  Yeah, in hindsight, I'm an idiot.  My excuse is that I was medicated and hungry.  Don't ever order a Thai dish there.  It was beyond bland, and this is coming from someone who eats plain oatmeal every day.  The scallops were incredible though. 

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

I had a hell of a time getting flights back on Friday, so my travel agent booked me on two different airlines.  Today is my first time on Song, and I was all prepared with my 900 page book that I never opened.  I started playing around with the music and became nostalgic with some Depeche Mode & then omg, "I Will Survive."  That literally had me dancing in my seat.  Haha, I'm sure everyone around me thought I was a freakshow, but it was fun and took my mind off of the turbulence and the dull throbbing in my head.  Thank goodness I didn't accidentally start singing.  O.o

Holy shit was it cold when I landed!  And, it started snowing at about 7ish.

Monday, April 11, 2005

I'm getting ready to fly up to Boston for training that I was originally supposed to do last month, but I called out sick.  Too much business travel is bad for me.  Somehow, I'm fighting a migraine again, but it's manageable with Imitrex & Excedrin.  After last month's plane puking incident, Galahad has decided it's better if he drives me.  I tried to argue and be independent, but it did feel really good to not have to drive home in that much pain & misery.

Saturday, April 9, 2005

 Welcome to GIANTmicrobes!

Wednesday, April 6, 2005

   Recent World Earthquake Activity

Saturday, April 2, 2005

People who know me know that I'm always looking for a healthier way to live that's compatible with my lifestyle -- meaning that if it involves 2 hours of yoga and meditation a day, it's not gonna happen. At the same time, I recognize that my body isn't as healthy as I want it to be with recurrent bouts of skin cancer sneaking up.

I haven't bought that raspberry cream yet, but I did find a new website that has changed the way I think about my body.  I love Google by the way.  =)

Now this man may be a quack, but I like his theories.  They seem logical and not so hoax-y.  I measured my pH and it was 6, just below the neutral 7 level, which reflects (to me anyway) that I'm mostly healthy but there's room for improvement.  This isn't the first time I've heard of this theory, but he presents a solid argument for it. 

Anyway, I'm gonna try to alter the way I eat a little bit and incorporate some super food supplements into my regime, along with the CoQ10 & Vitamin C and assorted others as needed.  Wish me luck!

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

I Googled the cream I'm using now for skin cancer and found an alternative one, which I think might be hoax-y.  I'm still debating trying it though.  I hate that they can sell me snake oil based on my desperation.

Sunday, March 27, 2005

I somehow had a Giant Pity Party for myself today, so I did it in style.  I went to the video store and rented chick flicks.  There I sat, watching back to back to back to back movies and eating junk food.   Mmmm, Twix.  First, was The Princess Diaries (I'll have to see #2 someday).  That was cute and had a great quote by Eleanor Roosevelt.  "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

Then, it was off to Neverland with Johnny Depp.  Who knew that would make me cry so much?  I was sobbing by the end of the movie.  Mulan 2 did the trick in making my tears stop.  :)  It wasn't as good as the original, but it was cute and light. 

And to finish off my quartet, I watched Bridget Jones 2.  I had already read the book, but it was fun to see.

My Pity Party has ended for now.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

 Screendesign and Webprogramming

Saturday, March 19, 2005

 Patriot Act

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

 The Virtual Window Project

Monday, March 14, 2005

Today was my dreaded annual wellness exam with a new doctor.  The place was a veritable woman-factory with a large sign on the wall saying they didn't carry medical malpractice insurance in accordance with Florida law.  That seems to be the new trends these days with malpractice insurance skyrocketing.  I was happy that I wasn't going there for any major procedure.

When I met the doctor finally, I liked him immediately.  He had a confident, easy manner.  He did give me the "Omg, you're so old and will have retarded kids if you don't hurry" lecture.  Part of me was offended because he didn't believe me when I said I wasn't planning on any, and part of me respected him for letting his patients know the risks.  Mostly, I just wanted to be done with the whole thing already.  He asked me a zillion health questions and repeatedly asked if I actually had a problem like it wasn't believable that I didn't.  I was also asked repeatedly about all of the meds I was on.  When I said none but the Imitrex as needed, that wasn't received as credible either apparently.  What is wrong with our society these days?  Does everyone have major problems requiring major meds?   Drink lots of water for the medical win, imo!!

Friday, March 11, 2005

 Happy Birthday, Shannon!

Wednesday, March 9, 2005

Yay, I get to fly home today, although I hate flying with a migraine.  Pretty much I hate doing anything with a migraine, except whining.  :p  Actually, even my whining annoys me.  =D  Apparently there were all kinds of storms going on in the northeast which screwed up air travel.  I was hopeful that since I was flying south, I would be okay.  Nope.  Turns out that there were severe storms by Ft. Lauderdale airport that prevented my flight from leaving for over 90 minutes.  At this point, I was lying on the floor of the terminal just wanting to be home. 

They finally announced my departure and I walked through the rain into my puddle-jumper plane.  I goofed to a friend right before that I hoped my seat had the airsick bag in it.  He said if I puked to make sure it was messy.  That made me giggle, and I settled into my seat after turning off my phone.  The Imitrex was kicking in nicely, and I fell asleep before we even took off.  I woke up at the 10,000 feet announcement and 2 seconds before I started drooling.  :p 

I was right at a good spot in my book (Dirk Pitt was foiling the evil plot) when the plane started getting a little too bumpy.  I decided that maybe it would be prudent to stop reading.  Looking out the window didn't help either.  I wasn't sure where to look cuz closing my eyes made the dizzy, sick, spinning feeling worse.  I don't wear a watch but I was sure that we were almost there, so I gave myself a pep talk to not puke for the next 10 minutes.  I even tried pushing on the nerve above my lips and turning the air vent on high.  We were on a roller coaster gone awry, dropping 15-20 feet at a time, spinning a little bit.  I kept waiting for the pilot to say something like they usually do.  He never did.  I'm guessing he was concentrating hard on flying or betting with the co-pilot how many people he could make sick. 

At one point I was wondering if we were going to crash, and my first thought was good, make this fucking pain & misery end already.  Then, I realized that this was probably routine for these pilots and they were enjoying themselves like I do when I drive too fast.

The lady in the row behind me had her face buried in a plastic bag.  She brought her own, and I was jealous.  I finally overcame my shyness and asked the man across the aisle if he had an airsick bag.  Both of them looked, and neither did.  Did they stop supplying those to save costs?  Fuckin' bastards!  I rang the call switch and asked the flight attendant for a bag.  He was scurrying to get other people bags. 

Now I was getting desperate and didn't care about puking in front of strangers.  I just didn't want to puke on me or on the floor.  It turns out the floor lost cuz the bag came 2 minutes too late.  I used it to hide the crime scene, which was tricksy since I splattered the wall going down.  I was so humiliated and so sick (but feeling a teensy bit better after lightening my stomach of the Outback I had eaten for lunch).  I fished out my emergency tissue from my purse and decided that a vomit emergency trumped a snot emergency any old day.  And, I was especially happy to have long hair to hide behind while I was crying and feeling miserable.

I heard the lady behind me yell to just land the plane already.  I heard the flight attendant yell to the cockpit that he had half a plane of puking people.  I wonder who won their bet.  :p  I strategized the path of least humiliation, get off first and let everyone walk by and see my mess.  Or, get off last and block the sight although the smell would probably permeate the already stale air.  That kept my mind busy for the remaining flight time.  The flight attendant came by and put a bag of ice on the back of my neck.  I felt badly for the poor sucker who had to clean the plane afterwards.  :(

I finally saw the sweet sight of over-development and rejoiced when we landed.  I opted for choice 1, get the fuck off the plane fast.  I caught the irony of the pilot thanking us for flying their airline -- 90 minutes late and thoroughly sick & embarrassed.   Because of the heavy rain, we weren't able to get our tarmac-checked bags right then, so now I had to face these people at baggage claim. 

My last giggle of the day was hearing my friend's words repeated in my mind, "if you do, make it messy!"

Tuesday, March 8, 2005

We had a breakout session (yeah that's what they call them) of just the techies from various divisions.  We went around the room and introduced ourselves, with most spouting out resumes.  That broke the ice and omgoose it smelled like Geek in there.  I was the only female out of 26 of us.  That kinda sucked, but no one was sexist thankfully.

Monday, March 7, 2005

I'm on another mandatory business trip that is in actuality a company pep rally.

I'm learning new euphemisms like crazy.  Yes, that's how I amuse myself at these things.  I did honestly enjoy hearing my CEO speak, though.  He has such great vision.  Anyway, on to the fun stuff:

1. Bake it into your DNA
2. We're going to have a Darwinian bakeoff (my personal fave)
3. Further up the trough
4. It's a different view of the camel
5. Best of breed
6. Game over for us/them (used interchangeably)
7. Agnostic (technical) platform

I know I forgot quite a few.  We were bunched in tightly, so I didn't want the guy next to me to see that all of my notes were goofs.  :p

Friday, February 18, 2005

Yesterday I tried to make an appointment at my girly doc for my annual wellness exam.  I love euphemisms.  :)  Anyway, it turns out they dropped my insurance company or my company dropped them.  It seems that both sides lie about it.  What a surprise.  :p  Anyway, I called my insurance provider to find a new one, and the woman got snippy with me.  Haha, maybe it was cuz I was a teensy bit bitter.  :(  She dropped the attitude as soon as I asked her how she would like to have to find a new GYN.  Then, she was all kinds of helpful and gave me 4 choices, 1 of whom is female.  I called that one first and lo & behold, she isn't accepting new patients, but her partner is.  Fucking bait & switch gynecologists.

Friday, February 11, 2005

A month ago today my Gramps died.  He had a long, wonderful life, and I strive to emulate him every day.  He was the most optimistic person I know, err knew.  Sigh.  For his birthday, he gave out presents to the staff at his nursing home.  Every year.  I doubt I'll ever get to that level of generosity and optimism, but maybe if I live to be 96 (and a half! :D), I might.  :)

I've been down & introspective in life lately; hence the lack of writing for 2 months.  Believe it or not, there's some stuff that I don't want to talk about here.  Thanks for all of the well wishes from friends, family, & strangers.  I didn't wanna suck anyone else down into my Black Hole of a Pity Party.  I'm still alive and mostly functioning, albeit with a tissue box nearby.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

My first Tai Chi class was this morning.  I missed last week's class cuz it was too cold outside, and I was a wuss.  So now I had to try to play catch up.  It wasn't a pretty sight for my uncoordinated self.  Who knew this was so fkn tricksy?  At the end of our class, the Chinese guy took our picture in a pose.  I'm so sure he's taking it back to China to giggle at us all with his friends.  It reminds me of that sushi clip (which was taken down or else I'd link it) of Japanese people making fun of Americans for eating raw fish and using sticks to eat.  Ten minutes into the class, I was practically in tears and swearing to myself I would NOT be back next week.  I was so frustrated and couldn't figure out where my arms were supposed to be when my feet were like so.  But after 40 minutes or so, I started to feel the chi goodness of it all.  I decided I would try one more week, and next week is on the beach with no new steps to learn.

Afterwards, we all went to Denny's for breakfast.  I fkn hate Denny's, but I was starving and for some bizarre reason there are no delis anywhere around.  To add insult to injury, we had to wait for our table.  However we did get somewhat of a floor show with that.  Two old guys almost duked it out over a front row parking space.  It was funny seeing them, in shorts with their black socks pulled up too high, shouting and acting tough.  My friend was ready to cheer them on, but I almost walked over and asked them if they knew how stupid they looked.  Since one never knows about who owns what semi-automatic weapon, I let the moment pass.

Our waitress was godawful.  I wouldn't be happy to work there either, but FFS at least fake a smile when you're working for tips.  Then she sneezed twice while taking our order.  Wet sneezes.  I kept reminding myself I have a healthy immune system and a cast iron stomach.  Plus, I was starving.  My 1^st breakfast had already worn off.  Tai Chi is hard stuff.  =)