Wednesday, March 9, 2005

Yay, I get to fly home today, although I hate flying with a migraine.  Pretty much I hate doing anything with a migraine, except whining.  :p  Actually, even my whining annoys me.  =D  Apparently there were all kinds of storms going on in the northeast which screwed up air travel.  I was hopeful that since I was flying south, I would be okay.  Nope.  Turns out that there were severe storms by Ft. Lauderdale airport that prevented my flight from leaving for over 90 minutes.  At this point, I was lying on the floor of the terminal just wanting to be home. 

They finally announced my departure and I walked through the rain into my puddle-jumper plane.  I goofed to a friend right before that I hoped my seat had the airsick bag in it.  He said if I puked to make sure it was messy.  That made me giggle, and I settled into my seat after turning off my phone.  The Imitrex was kicking in nicely, and I fell asleep before we even took off.  I woke up at the 10,000 feet announcement and 2 seconds before I started drooling.  :p 

I was right at a good spot in my book (Dirk Pitt was foiling the evil plot) when the plane started getting a little too bumpy.  I decided that maybe it would be prudent to stop reading.  Looking out the window didn't help either.  I wasn't sure where to look cuz closing my eyes made the dizzy, sick, spinning feeling worse.  I don't wear a watch but I was sure that we were almost there, so I gave myself a pep talk to not puke for the next 10 minutes.  I even tried pushing on the nerve above my lips and turning the air vent on high.  We were on a roller coaster gone awry, dropping 15-20 feet at a time, spinning a little bit.  I kept waiting for the pilot to say something like they usually do.  He never did.  I'm guessing he was concentrating hard on flying or betting with the co-pilot how many people he could make sick. 

At one point I was wondering if we were going to crash, and my first thought was good, make this fucking pain & misery end already.  Then, I realized that this was probably routine for these pilots and they were enjoying themselves like I do when I drive too fast.

The lady in the row behind me had her face buried in a plastic bag.  She brought her own, and I was jealous.  I finally overcame my shyness and asked the man across the aisle if he had an airsick bag.  Both of them looked, and neither did.  Did they stop supplying those to save costs?  Fuckin' bastards!  I rang the call switch and asked the flight attendant for a bag.  He was scurrying to get other people bags. 

Now I was getting desperate and didn't care about puking in front of strangers.  I just didn't want to puke on me or on the floor.  It turns out the floor lost cuz the bag came 2 minutes too late.  I used it to hide the crime scene, which was tricksy since I splattered the wall going down.  I was so humiliated and so sick (but feeling a teensy bit better after lightening my stomach of the Outback I had eaten for lunch).  I fished out my emergency tissue from my purse and decided that a vomit emergency trumped a snot emergency any old day.  And, I was especially happy to have long hair to hide behind while I was crying and feeling miserable.

I heard the lady behind me yell to just land the plane already.  I heard the flight attendant yell to the cockpit that he had half a plane of puking people.  I wonder who won their bet.  :p  I strategized the path of least humiliation, get off first and let everyone walk by and see my mess.  Or, get off last and block the sight although the smell would probably permeate the already stale air.  That kept my mind busy for the remaining flight time.  The flight attendant came by and put a bag of ice on the back of my neck.  I felt badly for the poor sucker who had to clean the plane afterwards.  :(

I finally saw the sweet sight of over-development and rejoiced when we landed.  I opted for choice 1, get the fuck off the plane fast.  I caught the irony of the pilot thanking us for flying their airline -- 90 minutes late and thoroughly sick & embarrassed.   Because of the heavy rain, we weren't able to get our tarmac-checked bags right then, so now I had to face these people at baggage claim. 

My last giggle of the day was hearing my friend's words repeated in my mind, "if you do, make it messy!"