spiderman, spiderman

I took a friend out to the movies for his birthday.   There weren't many choices, so we picked the new Spider-man.  To which everyone said, "There's a new Spider-man??"

I opted for the less expensive, yet still comfortable, recliner seats among the hoi polloi.  Usually when we go midweek and midday, the theater is half empty.  It turned out to be opening day for the movie, so it was packed.

Two little boys and a single father were on my friend's side.  One of them immediately spilled popcorn all over my friend, so I was thinking I was the lucky one.

Wrong.

A man walked up to the seat next to me and started setting up what I can only describe as a campsite, minus the fire-pit.  He laid a blanket across the seat and footrest.  He started undressing his layers and redressing in his movie outfit, I suppose.  I'm not really sure because I assumed this would go quickly, so I didn't pay attention. 

Wrong.

Next he laid out a three course meal, including a pepperoni pizza, a JUMBO popcorn, and assorted candy.  And drinks.  Plural.

He removed his shoes and had a second blanket on top of himself, until he was tucked into his bed.

This theater has tray tables that swing out to allow someone to sit down and then swing back to the person.  He left his out, which put his JUMBO popcorn obstructing my line of sight to the screen.  I politely asked him if it was possible to move his tray table towards himself.  He happily agreed.

And moved it two centimeters.  Douchebag.

Just that morning I had listened to a health expert saying he wanted to ban JUMBO popcorn in movies because it created a hostile environment for health.  I kind of laughed it off.  After sitting next to that pepperoni pizza, JUMBO popcorn, and sugary sundae smells for over two hours, I'm ready to sign that petition.

The smells were overpowering.

Despite my train-wreck of a neighbor, I enjoyed myself and laughed lots.  My friend told me that the little boy next to him was enamored of me.  He leaned across my friend and watched me most of the movie.  Every time I laughed, he looked back to the screen and laughed, too.  Awwww.