I skipped class last night but went tonight since it's more
of an exercise and less of a martial arts class. I almost started
crying in the middle for no apparent reason. My Sensei of course
noticed that I looked pale and commented on it. How embarrassing.
I feel so horrible to be like this, bringing down others, so mostly I just
want to be alone. I've been ditching my guy's company most nights and
I know he feels helpless seeing me this way.
Before any of you decide it's
clinical depression, please save your suggestions to yourself. I
refuse to see a doctor and take meds for this. I'm either going to
beat this on my own or it's going to beat me, but I'm not going to pollute
my body with chemicals when it's my soul that is sick. I've been
trying to boost my hormones a bit with progesterone cream. That has
helped in the past, so I'm willing to try again. I'm also going to
stay the exercise course as that should logically help.
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