progress? two steps forward and one back

Yesterday I had my semi-annual full body dermatology scan.  I started to have anxiety but gave myself a proper pep talk on the drive there.  

"You've got this, Wendy.  It's nothing you can't handle.  You've managed it many, many times previously.  You're strong. Your body is strong.  It's gotten you through decades and decades and healed from everything so far.  Etc." 

I started getting teary-eyed the moment the doc walked in and asked how I was.  Ugh. 

My checkup wasn't great, but it wasn't horrible.  However, that's not the point.  I wanted to have more equanimity than I did.  I truly wanted to change my outlook on how I view these appointments.  I failed.  Maybe next time.  Because there's always a next time. If I'm fortunate enough to wake up again tomorrow and the next days.