Sunday, March 16, 2003

Fucking fire ants!!!!  There I was minding my own business, when 3 stealthed ants pwn my right foot in a coordinated attack.  There was no ant pile in sight.  I was in the backyard taking photos of my latest flowering orchid.  (I'll add it to my Photos page later on.)  I disregarded the bites because I am not allergic to them like my lovely Galahad with the sensitive skin.  I ran (literally) inside to download the camera before the batteries died.  That camera is fun but it chews through AAA batteries. 

Suddenly I feel this burning in my foot!  Omfg, it made me crazy.  I ran back outside to Galahad to show him.  Normally he is the one they chew on and make his life a living burning hell.  The poison (or whatever it is they have in their saliva) is visibly spidering out into my capillaries in a bright red pattern.  The 3 bites are welting up nicely.  And, I was losing my mind.  I decided that soaking my foot in the pool will help.  Laugh, anything I can do to rationalize pool time, huh?  So, I change into my pool attire and float out on our raft. 

The pool is nice & warm now which does nothing to alleviate the burning hell in my foot.  I am sure at this point that steam will be rising out of our pool any minute now.  My lovely, calm Galahad makes me an ice pack for my foot. 

Because I am sensitive to cold, this seems to hurt worse.  Now I am howling about my foot bones aching from the cold.  And, I could still feel the fucking burning of the bites.  I started to alternate concentrating on one misery then the other.  That worked for about 15 seconds when I lost my mind again.   

My dear sweet patient Galahad (I think I owe him another week of flowers again, huh?) takes out one piece of ice to hold on the exact spot of my bite so as not to freeze any non-burning part of my delicate foot.  So there I am floating on the raft.  He's sitting on the edge of the pool treating my afflicted foot.  This struck me as funny, so I let out a chuckle.  The ant poison must have made it all the way to my brain by now because suddenly I convulsed into hysterical laughter.  It was the quiet kind, so he didn't notice for a few minutes as he was intensely concentrating on fixing my foot.  Of course that made me laugh even harder.  Finally, he looks up and sees me laughing so hard I have tears streaming down my face.

He just gives me an "I have such a crazy girlfriend" look, smiles, and goes back to freezing my ant bites.  Once I lost the feeling in my foot, I was fine the rest of the day.  =)