I did it!

I made it through an entire holiday, including a family dinner, exchanged texts with several friends and family, and never shed one tear. 

/FLEX

It was close though, I will admit.  I felt a tear building up and forced myself to think of something else.  Fuck, I love denial.  :)

One day I hope to be healthy enough not to need to engage denial as a coping mechanism, but for now, I'll take it.  Some people use religion and/or drugs as crutches.  I embrace denial.  :)

3 ... 2 ... 1

And it's the holiday season again.  Fuck.

I swear I'm ready this year.  No drama, no tears, no depression.  Yeah, right.  I'm pretty sure I thought I was fine last year until that tsunami of darkness almost drowned me.

It doesn't feel like a whole year has gone by.  Wasn't it just a few months ago?

I'm beginning to see people around me randomly snap at situations they typically wouldn't, with others left standing there saying wtf.  I'm chalking every fucked-up situation to the Holiday Parasites that infect us all differently.  Some people get nicer.  Some get angrier.  Some get sadder.  And others bottle up their feelings and explode at bizarre times with completely inappropriate reactions.  Until one digs beneath the surface and sees they're doing the best they can.

Please everyone, have a little extra patience until January 2.  Then you can resume being self-absorbed.