Thursday, March 30, 2006

I might be a big fat dork (or extra skinny one as the case may be).  I was reading that there may or may not be a risk of too much Vitamin C supplementation in the body causing kidney stones.  (My brother went through that, and I've heard horrible, awful things about kidney stones so I was anxious to avoid them.)  Even though I've been on semi-high doses of C for over a year and been fine, I decided to cut back to 1000 mg from 3000 mg.  Big mistake.  Add to that my overall depression and my body decided to revolt yesterday.  I don't know if suddenly I caught a bug, got food poisoning, or just willed myself to self-detonate.  I got so sick, chills, uncontrolled crying, upset stomach, fever, etc.  I haven't eaten much in the last 24 hours (READ: 2 bowls of oatmeal) and have lost about 3 pounds.  I'm just guessing since I don't own a scale.

I also noticed a new spot on my chest which is making me think about calling my dermatologist.  I'm sure 2 days of lowered C wouldn't be enough to let a skin cancer grow like that (well almost sure), but it makes me wonder.  I'm so sick of all of this.  The C was making me feel good about it all and feel healthy.  Now, it scares me because there are conflicting reports of its safety.  Nothing like being one's own science experiment.  :\

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Tried to do an old-fashioned beach day today.  Now I remember why I don't do this much anymore.    It was a gorgeous day, low 70s and not a cloud in the sky.  I put on sunblock, packed snacks and went with a few friends to the beach.  I had sufficient water to stay hydrated and blankets on which to lie.  However, we had no umbrella.  And the rental ones can be used only where they're clustered.  Sigh.  And, because of parking issues, we all came in one car.  So after an hour or two, I was all sunned out and ready to leave but couldn't.  I moved into the shade nearby and started to get chewed on by no-see-ums.  I literally had hundreds on my shirtsleeves.  So then I moved even farther away onto the pavement where the old people congregate.  Meanwhile, all of my friends were in the water having fun. 

I was reading a magazine but couldn't concentrate and really started to feel like a left out freak.  Here I was at the beach on one of the most perfect days of the year, fighting back tears and hiding under my Gilligan hat.  I ate my snacks, drank my water, and read my magazine.  Finally, they were ready to go and were making plans for dinner & movies, etc.  I was so over hanging out by then but somehow felt like I couldn't say no.  Hate that.  We all went to our respective homes to shower & change.  I of course grabbed a small snack to tide me over.  In hindsight, I should have grabbed a real meal.  It turns out girls take forever to get ready, and I was way beyond hungry by then and onto a full-blown migraine.  So, I ended up saying no to the rest of the night and spent a quiet night by myself on meds.

They all said I should have told them I needed to leave, but I didn't want to ruin their fun.  In retrospect, I should have because they were burnt pretty bad.  When did I become such a sissy girl?  How much of a loser am I that I got lonely in the middle of all that humanity and fun-ness?

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

I love rocking out in my car while driving.  It's like my own personal nightclub.

Monday, March 13, 2006

   Just Letters

Thursday, March 2, 2006

I tried Tai Chi again this past Sunday but at the beach this time.  Much better!  Everything is nicer on the early morning beach, well that is until the driving rains came in.  =)  Some fellow beach-goers stared at us and one brave soul even tried to follow along.  Bless his heart, it's fkn complicated.  And, we've only learned (and I use that word loosely) the first 12 or so movements.

After the Tai Chi, we started our normal workout stuff, punching sand, pushups, sit-ups, etc.  Somehow I fucked up my shoulder hanging from a beam and doing leg lifts.  I'm not sure how or why since I've done it before without injury.  Anyway, I lost 75% strength in my right arm which made eating breakfast a challenge.  (It was technically Tweensies since I had eaten breakfast before Tai Chi.)   At the time, I assumed it was muscle fatigue, but it didn't seem to get better after an hour.

The next morning my shoulder was much better but my neck was all fuxx0red, so I paid an emergency visit to my chiropractor who laughed at me for being a dumbass while torturing my every pressure point.  Then, I underwent an hour-long massage session with the nice lady with the mean hands.  Holy Shit, that hurt!  So, here I am a few days later and feeling about the same as I did three days ago.  Sigh.  If this is part of getting older, I want no part of it.  I shouldn't be this goddamn delicate.  FFS, I hurt my neck sleeping from what I can tell.  That's just plain wrong. 

On a completely unrelated note, one of my nieces is in all kinds of trouble.  I've been debating with myself having a heart to heart with her.  We aren't very close emotionally or geographically so I'm not sure how well received it might be.  But then I think at that age, kids are begging for role models and guidance --- they just don't always realize it.  But really wtf am I to tell her how to be?  I did already tell her parents what I thought of their parenting techniques while offering my condolences.  It's time for Tough Love.  Most kids are way too molly-coddled these days.  Haha, so says the mother of none.  I feel for her pain, but I know from personal experience that PityParties just lead down a useless path.  Aunt Wendy to the rescue?  Bahahahah I can't even rescue myself.