getting older isn't for pussies

Getting older or wiser?  Maybe both?

It's weird to realize that I'm not as physically strong as I used to be, although maybe I'm mentally stronger.   People lament about youth being wasted on the young.  But maybe they need that added boost because life is fucking hard sometimes.  Imagine starting off life looking and feeling old AND having to learn all of life's tough lessons.

It's weird to look in the mirror and see someone other than who I expect.  Nowadays, I try not to be as concerned about how attractive my body is, but rather how functional it is.  I'm grateful that it's still very functional, without too much pain. 

It's harder to get off the ground, but it's easier to have more compassion for people.

It's harder to see smaller print, but it's easier to lend a solicitous ear.

It's both harder and easier to make friends.  Harder because less opportunity and easier because I am more accepting and don't care as much how other people are judging me.

Every time I start to think I've reached some stability, Life comes in and says "Nope!"  I guess that's one of the lessons I've learned -- the impermanence of everything.  I'm feeling stable now and trying to enjoy it without worrying what's going to fuck it up next.

dance party or pity party?

Wendy:  I should have a dance party soon!

 

Life: How about a pity party??

 

It might be edibles time and pity party re-imagined!  You know when you're feeling down and think life is shitty, but then something happens that makes it shittier, and you have fond memories of the slightly less shitty yesterday was?

Yesterday, while I was cleaning up after all the storms that have blown through South Florida, I slipped on a tiny baby mango.  They're hard like golf balls, and I rolled my foot down a step.  But I didn't fall and hurt the rest of me, so yay?  I'm trying to find a silver lining here, 

I know nothing is that serious, but the anxiety of what could be is what's getting to me.  I definitely need to re-frame, whether with or without edibles will be the question later.  I don't like using them as a crutch, but they work really well in alleviating anxiety.  I suppose I don't like crutches in general.  I even went for my walk yesterday AFTER the injury.  I'm skipping today because everyone has told me to elevate it and quit being a dumbass.

And I broke a nail making coffee this morning.  So sad...