falling into grey

I haven't felt much like writing lately.  Mostly, I'm feeling numb, which makes me think I'm regressing emotionally.  I know exercise will help me, but my energy levels are low.  And I'm a firm believer in listening to one's body.  So, I've been resting and quiescing. 

I also know being outside will help, a.k.a. Shinrin-yoku.  It seems so hard to take that first step outside though.  That's when I know I really need it.  Open the door, Wendy.  Step outside.  Breathe in nature.  Why is that so difficult? 

I've slowly fallen into grey.  And it's not easy or doesn't seem necessary to escape.  It's a thick, viscous apathy.  I don't have an angel and a devil standing on opposite shoulders telling me what to do.  I have Logic and Emotion standing on opposite shoulders whispering in my ears.  Logic is being too fkn quiet though.  Mofo' needs to shout at me to pierce the quicksands of lethargy.  Or maybe she's strangulating in my hair.  In either case, step up your game, bitch!  I need you.

I think I may schedule a DINING ROOM DANCE PARTY tomorrow.  :)  That might be the thread I need to begin my journey out of the labyrinth.

[Thanks, everyone, for checking on me.  I sincerely appreciate your emails, texts, and calls.   Even if I don't respond.]