may the bridges I burn light the way

I sort of made tentative plans to go out with a casual friend last night.  I wanted to hang out with her, but I wasn't that excited about the chosen activity.  Mostly because it was so far to drive, and it would end up being a late night. 

I've turned into quite a morning person the past few years.  I'm up bright and early around 5 or 6am, which means I'm tired by 9 or 10pm.  That said, I can stay up later, but I need a really great reason.  And I don't want to drive a long way home when I'm sleepy.

I felt like an asshole texting her back and saying no.  That said, I was so relieved to be asleep by 9:30pm.

Why is it so hard to make friends at this stage in my life?  I have more confidence than ever, so it should be much simpler for me to say "hey, you seem fun, let's hang out." 

And yet I don't.